Unfinished
by chan.nelson4444
Summary: Dixie has a secret not even Jeff knows, as a teen she was bullied at school for her sexuality. Her bully swore return, and returns as a new paramedic at holby befriending Jeff. But with one ambition to make Dixie feel Isolated and cause her misery, but is he going to take things to far, what will the consequences of this be? PLEASE R&R XXX
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry for taking the Fic down, then reposting needed to add a little more to the first chap, as I didn't like the beggining. Sorry for any annoyance I caused by doing this, hope you will all enjoy the fic and please leave a review to let me know what you think xxx**

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"How_ you doing Kathleen?" A 16 year-old Dixie, was walking back home continuing to be harassed by the same boy. She thought it was over, it was the last day of school and he still couldn't leave her alone. _

_"Mick, leave me alone" Dixie pleaded, as he pushed her to the ground. _

_"Never lesbo!" He chuckled, the word about Dixie's sexuality had spread some people didn't mind. But others thought it was wrong Mick Williams was one of these people, as soon as he found out he harassed Dixie even more than he had previously done. He kicked her a few times, leaving her to cry on the ground._

_"Don't think it is over, I will be coming for you one day." He spat on Dixie then walked off, leaving her on the floor crumpled._

Dixie sat up from bed, tears streaming as she relived one of the memories from her childhood. She was breathing hard, Jeff woke up next to her.

"Dix what's up?" Jeff asked, still sounding asleep, but concern obvious in his voice as he sat up, noticing Dixie was crying.

"Nothing, just a bad dream" Dixie sniffed, before going into Jeff's open arms for a hug that she so desperately needed.

"Ok, well it's ok" Jeff kissed her head lightly, Dixie never told him about all the years of bullying she suffered in school. That Mick, had broken two of her ribs in one kick just because of her sexuality. It wasn't something many people knew, she didn't want to relive the terror she put up during her school life. That was the last time she saw Mick, and even now she wanted it to remain that way. She fell asleep again, this time not having the same dream as before in fact this time she didn't dream at all, it was just all black.

When she woke, Jeff made her a coffee and they both sat in the kitchen with Abs still asleep in his bed.

"What was your dream about?" Jeff asked, Dixie had bad dreams before but non that had shock her up this badly.

"Nothing. Don't worry can't remember it now anyway" Dixie lied she remembered very well what she had dreamt but she wanted to forget, she wanted to forget the whole four years of bullying she had to put up with.

"Ok well, if you remember and want to tell me, I'm here" Jeff said supportively, wondering what Dixie had got into such a state over, not many things made her cry so whatever this was it really effected Dixie.

"Come on we best get ready we have a new paramedic starting today" Dixie changed the subject quickly as the memories of getting beaten up on her way to and from school was making her eyes fill up with tears.

Jeff and Dixie got dressed heading for work so they could greet the new paramedic,

"So who do you think base have sent us?" Jeff asked excitedly.

"I don't know Jeffrey" Dixie tried to clean up her office in the little time she had left before the new paramedic arrived.

"Hope it's a hot bird" Dixie heard Jeff mutter under his breath so she threw a cushion at him.

"Ouch what the hell was that for"

"I heard what you said Jeffrey"

"Stupid cow" He muttered more quietly, but got another cushion thrown at him at a higher force.

"Ouch" he said pretending to act hurt, pouting at Dixie.

"I heard that too" She said, pointing her finger and raising her eyebrows. They were interrupted by the door knocking.

"Come in" Dixie said merely as Jeff put the cushions back on their rightful place on the chair.

"Hello, I'm Mick Williams, but we have already met haven't we Kathleen" Dixie stood frozen, she wasn't expecting this. He stood in her doorway, giving her a venomous grin

Dixie stood there unable to take things in, the new paramedic was her old bully who would laugh as he kicked her, breaking her ribs and leaving her crumpled on the floor. He was still like he was, he hadn't changed much over the years Dixie hadn't seen him, he was still taller than her muscular and could easily over power her. She was lost in her own train of thought until Jeff tapped her on the shoulder,

"You alright"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine mate, right Mick you're paired with Tamzin today, and people call me Dixie now, not Kathleen." Dixie felt a little bad now, having paired him with Tamzin she hoped he wouldn't say or do anything mean to her.

"Right Dixie it is then. Who is this?"

"I'm Jeff" Jeff walked over shaking his hand, being more professional than her.

"I'll take you to Tamzin" Jeff led him out, as soon as they left Dixie went on the computer to email base. Maybe she could get him sent to another base like before she managed to get St James to take back Omar and Tamzin. But then she looked at the rotas, if she got rid of him all hell would break lose there wasn't enough paramedics now, if she got rid of him everybody else would have to work double hard and double the hours. Then an idea came into her head, maybe she could get him swapped for another paramedic, but how would her reason sound ' I am sorry, but I don't want to accept him as bullied me badly in school' even in her mind it sounded stupid, it looked like she was just going to have to put up with it. She sighed running her hand through her hair, what was the worst that could happen? Maybe he had grown out of it, and it was just him being a troubled child or something? But the grin he gave Dixie, made her think he hadn't changed at all.

She pushed the paper work to one side, then left to start her shift with Jeff. She got into the ambulance and he was already in there.

"Where do you know Mick from?" Jeff asked, puzzled as she never mentioned anything about him before.

"School" Dixie replied bluntly, not wanting to spend the day talking about the person who bullied her throughout secondary school.

"Nice bloke" Jeff said, they both had a thing in common they loved football and the pub that was enough for Jeff.

"Yeah. If you say so" Dixie lied, knowing what he was really like and 'Nice bloke' wasn't the best way you could describe him. Dixie spent the rest of the day, thinking about how she could change the situation she had been put in but there was nothing she could think of.

She could tell Jeff, but how daft was it going to sound. Mick was very good at acting, she told her Mum and Dad about what he did to her each day, but they didn't believe her they said Mick would never do something like that, but they were wrong. If her own Mum and Dad didn't believe her, why would Jeff, in fact her relationship with her Mum collapsed, because she told her about Mick. She didn't want hers and Jeff's relationship collapsing in the same way. She was lost without him, and she wouldn't know what she would do if their relationship ended.


	2. Chapter 2

She came across Mick several times that day, mainly at the big incidents but she tried her best to avoid him. She couldn't avoid him at the end of the day though, when Jeff wanted to speak to him, ask him how his day went.

"Come on Dix, let's find Mick. Ask him how his shift went" His enthusiasm in his voice obvious.

"I don't think he is going to want to talk Jeff, he probably wants to just go home" Dixie was trying to avoid him, thinking of any excuse that would mean her and Jeff could go home.

"Dix what's the matter? Stop being rude and come on" Jeff dragged her, to where Mick was standing outside his locker. Dixie thought to herself again, her being rude? After what he put her through, she had a right to want to avoid him, and this was what she wanted to do. Dixie stood there not talking, and Jeff started to talk to him, giving Dixie a nudge to include herself in the conversation.

"I'm sorry Dixie have I done something wrong?" Mick asked sweetly, Dixie didn't reply to him.

"No. No mate, it's her time of the month if you get what I mean" Jeff said, earning him an icy glare off Dixie. What he just said was true, but he didn't have the right to go telling people and most importantly that wasn't the reason why she was trying to avoid Mick.

"Ah, well I'm here if you need me Dixie" Mick said, Dixie looked up to him giving him a weak fake smile, so she didn't get an earful of Jeff.

"Actually, could I have a word in private I need to talk to you about my shift's" He added, Dixie nodded and started the way to her office. Mick following, and Jeff staying behind opening his locker he thought it would do Dixie good to talk to Mick, he couldn't understand why she had become so aggravated.

Dixie entered her office, she was his boss and was going to have to deal with him in private sometimes, the worst he could do was say some abuse but it was nothing she hadn't had before.

"So what is it you want to discuss?" Dixie said, sitting behind her desk pulling out the rota sheet.

"I want to ask if I can have a shift with Jeff" He said, while fiddling with his fingers speaking in a demanding way. Dixie sighed quietly, if he wanted to work with Jeff she would have to make it so he could work with Jeff, if she didn't he would only make things worse.

"You can work with him tomorrow" Dixie then switched her name with his. This would mean she would be working with Tamzin, something she could handle easily it was better than working with Norman.

"So is Dixie your lesbian name"

"You can go now" Dixie said, placing the sheet back in the draw, standing up to leave.

"You can't tell me what to do, if I want to stay I will stay. You got that?" She tried to get passed him, but he pushed her against the wall, holding his hand across her mouth so she couldn't speak.

"I told you it wasn't over, so how is life Kathleen?" Dixie was unable to move, and stood there petrified under his grasp knowing there was nothing she could do.

"Shame Jeff will soon like me more than you isn't it. You're a lesbian, you shouldn't be living with him, I'm just doing you a favour." He smirked at Dixie, easily overpowering her having her up against the wall, knowing she could do nothing.

"There is no point telling Jeff about this, remember how your parents reacted. Are you going to tell him?" Dixie shock her head, frightened as to what he may do. But she was right, her parents reacted badly he already had Jeff wrapped around his finger easily, so how would he react?

Dixie gulped as he moved his hand, she moved away from him leaving her office. Bumping into Jeff on her way out,

"Come on Dixie, its beer O'clock" Jeff started his singing, getting excited for the evening to come. He was looking forward to his beer at the local pub; Dixie smiled then noticed Mick coming out of her office.

"Do you want to come?" Jeff gave Mick, the offer of going to the pub. Dixie stood there, hoping he would say no, but unfortunately he didn't.

"Yeah alright"

"Come on Dixie" Jeff put his arm around Dixie, leading her out the ambulance bay towards the car, Mick following.

"Actually I'm not feeling to well, see you at home yeah?" Dixie thought of the excuse so she didn't have to go.

"Alright then, you ok to get home?" Jeff was a little concerned, like he always was when Dixie said she didn't feel well.

"Yeah, yeah have a good time" She felt bad about lying, but she didn't want to spend the evening with Mick.

When she got home, she went upstairs getting into her Pyjamas, thinking about what had happened that day. Mick already had complete power over her; she thought of telling Jeff but was worried how he would react looked like she was just going to have to put up with it, like she had done before.

Meanwhile Jeff and Mick were enjoying their time together in the local pub, talking about many different subjects but then the subject changed to Dixie.

"So how was Dixie back in the old days then?" Jeff asked taking another gulp of his beer.

"Kept herself to herself, put her opinions forward rather bluntly." Mick didn't mention the times he spent beating her, the times Dixie spent crying at the back of the field feeling hurt and alone. He wanted her to feel these things again, he was unfinished with her.

"Sounds like her now, she can be a stubborn cow sometimes" Jeff replied, pulling out his wallet getting another round.

"By the way, I'm working with you tommorow" Mick said, feeling happy that he was gaining Jeff's trust.

"Oh ok, makes a change of Dixie, see enough of her at home" Jeff, did love Dixie but a change of someone to work with might do him good.

"So you live with her then, and I know what you mean" Mick finished his drink, placing the empty glass on the table.

"Well yeah we are married" Jeff then remembered the day they got married.

"Oh well that makes sense" This made Mick angry, she was a lesbian shouldn't be living with a man, shouldn't be married to a man.

"Anyway want another?" Jeff flashed a twenty pound note, unaware of what he had planned for Dixie, unaware he had her twisted around his finger, and unaware that he threatened her in her own office.

"Yeah alright" Mick smiled as Jeff stood up, Mick noticed Jeff left his phone on the table. He picked it up, starting a text. Watching cautiously over his shoulder, making sure Jeff wasn't looking but he was too busy, ordering the drinks.

**Why you being rude to Mick?  
I know you are trying to avoid him; he is a good bloke who doesn't deserve you  
being mean to him.  
Stop being a stubborn cow and grow up.**

He smirked at the text, before sending it to Dixie's number.


	3. Chapter 3

Dixie heard her phone, ring indicating a new message. She jumped off the bed, grabbing her phone and reading the new message from Jeff.

**Why you being rude to Mick?  
I know you are trying to avoid him; he is a good bloke who doesn't deserve you  
being mean to him.  
Stop being a stubborn cow and grow up.**

Her heart dropped, and a tear fell from her eye. She was being rude to him? He must have not told Jeff about the things he did to her as a teenager, threatening her today. Now Jeff thought she was a stubborn cow who needed to grow up, she normally didn't mind Jeff calling her a stubborn cow as he meant it jokily but something told her this wasn't a jokey text.

She bit her lip, sighing to herself there was no way she could tell him why, he already befriended Mick as this text proved he wouldn't believe her now she was just going to have to put up with it. She also decided not to text Jeff back, especially while he was with Mick. Dixie made herself a coffee then sat on the sofa, stroking little abs she cried a little feeling alone.

An hour later, the door opened revealing a rather drunk Jeff.

"What you doing still up princess?" Jeff asked, while swaying lightly wondering why Dixie was still up. Dixie didn't reply, just stood up shutting the door behind Jeff then going upstairs to her room.

"Dixie what have I done?" Jeff asked wondering why she wasn't talking to him, and going upstairs completely avoiding him.

"Don't act all innocent Jeffrey" Dixie spat back, from the top of the stairs.

"Innocent, what am I guilty for?"

"You're too drunk to remember obviously." Dixie scowled and then going into her room

"Remember what?" Jeff asked confused as to what he had done, not aware of the text Mick sent her from his phone. He just got a slamming door in return,

"Stupid Cow" Jeff muttered to himself, feeling happy he was working with Mick the next day this way he could avoid Dixie ranting at him for something that he had no clue as to what. He left to his old room, knowing he wouldn't be welcome in his normal bed for a while. He collapsed into sleep, to sleep of the alcohol hoping Dixie wouldn't still be moaning at him in the morning.

When Jeff woke up, he could her footsteps downstairs and the clattering of Dixie doing the washing up. He rubbed his head, and vaguely remembered what had happened the previous night Dixie acting in a cop with him. He just thought, it must just be the effects of it being 'her time 'as he

Recalled it she was always different this time of the month. He thought to himself, at least he could avoid it today as he was working with Mick.

He went down the stairs, and was greeted by abs he bent down tickling him behind his ear. He then saw Dixie fully dressed, sorting out the dirt dishes. He went over cautiously not sure if she was still in a cop with him,

"Dixie?" He asked softly, as she turned it was obvious to him she had been crying.

"Dixie what's the matter?" Jeff rubbed underneath each eye, rubbing away her tears.

"Doesn't matter"

"Is it something I did last night?" Jeff wanted to know why she had been crying; he couldn't remember what he did last night, but whatever it was it was making Dixie very upset.

"Something like that" Dixie replied, it wasn't the fact of him calling her a stubborn cow, but saying she was being rude to Mick when he was the one being horrible to her. She felt like her 16 year old self all over again, being manipulated by Mick and feeling scared and alone.

"Well I'm really sorry, for whatever I did." He pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair, hoping that whatever he done Dixie would forgive him.

"It's ok, come on let's get dressed for work" Dixie mentioned, knowing if they didn't get ready soon they would be late for their shift.

"Suppose your right princess, you sure there is nothing else?" Jeff pulled her out of the hug, making sure there was nothing else that was bothering her.

"No nothing, come on then" Dixie led them both upstairs and they got dressed ready for work, Dixie was feeling annoyed that she couldn't tell Jeff but she was too scared as to what would happen if she did.

When they arrived at work Mick was waiting for Jeff, getting ready to start his shift with him.

"You alright mate?"

"Yeah I'm good, you feeling better Dixie?" The sound of him mentioning her name, made Dixie's spine crawl. Dixie just gave a little nod, not wanting to talk to him.

"See you later Jeff, best be off to find Tamzin" Dixie said hastily, before going over to Tamzin who was sat on the chair, leaving Jeff with Mick. It annoyed her a little how they were both getting along so well, and the fact Jeff had no clue as to what was really going on.

Dixie spent the day with Tamzin, while Jeff and Mick spent time bonding much to her annoyance. She could hear them both laughing, the more time Jeff spent with him the lonelier she felt, she also felt a little jealousy towards him. It was the end of the day, and she was filling out the necessary paperwork before she could finish and go home. She was getting stressed, this was when she heard the door knock.

"Come in" She called, waiting for who-ever it was to come into her office. She didn't expect it to be Mick; she looked up feeling scared and worried.

"What is it?" She asked, wanting to know what he wanted.

"Just popped in for a visit"

"Well I'm rather busy, so if it isn't important please can you go" She replied professionally, filling out more boxes on the paper work.

"It is important, don't you know what being a lesbian means?" He said spitefully, Dixie got up ignoring him, walking passed him to leave.

"Where are you going?" He pulled her around, slamming her against the wall again. Having his hand around her neck, not tightly but tight enough to hold her there.

"You have no idea what Jeff really thinks of you do you?" He asked, his face so close to Dixie's she could feel his breathe on her cheek. What did he mean what Jeff really thinks of her? She stood there petrified, tears streaming down her face.

"He thinks you are a selfish cow who needs to grow up, if you tell him about this he won't believe you. He will hate you even more than he does now. You are just a worthless lesbo" He spat, letting go of her neck, leaving her to fall to the ground hugging her knees and crying. What did he mean Jeff already hates her. He didn't did he?


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Dixie sat on the floor, thinking. Jeff didn't hate her did he? Did he really think she was a selfish cow? She rubbed her eyes, then stood up she realised she was still shaking a little. She grabbed her coat from the chair and put it on, seeing it looked cold outside. Going out of her office, she could see Jeff and Mick talking together from where she was standing she could hear them both laughing again. Jeff had no clue of what he was doing to Dixie, he just continued to stand there and laugh and joke with him.

Dixie was then noticed by Jeff,

"Dix come over here" He called beckoning her over.

"No it's alright, I'm going to wait in the car!" She called back; Jeff frowned at her as she left walking towards the car. When Dixie got in she switched the engine on so she could put on the heating. She didn't have to wait long until Jeff got in the car, next to her.

"Dix what is up with you" Jeff wanted to know why she was getting all moody all of a sudden

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, you continuing to be rude to Mick"

Dixie didn't answer just continued to drive the car; she ignored Jeff's continuous questions as she drove them home. When she got home she turned off the engine, going inside the house.

"Anyway I have invited him round for some drinks tonight." Jeff thought it would do her good to try and bond with him. But Dixie just scowled, and went up to her room starting to cry again. Jeff really liked Mick, how would she be able to explain what he was doing to her, did Jeff really hate her? She heard a soft knock on her bedroom door.

"Dixie are you ok?" Jeff asked, he was worried as he could hear her crying from down stairs. Dixie rubbed her eyes, in attempt to hide the fact she had been crying but Jeff opened the door to soon.

"Dixie what is going on?" He sat opposite her moving the hair out of her eyes.

"Nothing, just stressed out" She knew Jeff would believe this, at the moment making everybody happy with their shifts was becoming hard.

Jeff sighed, before patting Dixie's shoulder.

"I know but, you can't keep on being rude to Mick can you?" Jeff raised his eyebrows, he couldn't understand why she was being rude and awkward around him, Jeff really liked Mick. He thought he was an interesting person, who was a good bloke. He was always asking about Dixie, and was worried if he had upset her, Jeff continued to convince him it was just Dixie being in a funny mood. But little did he know what was really going on between them. That Dixie was too scared to tell him because she worried about how it would affect their relationship. That she was already worried that Jeff hated her, Mick had already made her feel isolated and bad about herself.

"I know, I will say sorry later" Dixie knew Jeff was going to want her to apologise, when it really should be Mick apologising to her.

"Well done princess, I'm going to give Abs a quick walk"

"Ok" Dixie replied, Jeff kissed her goodbye then left with Abs.

Dixie wasn't looking forward to Mick being in her house, this was her space where she came to unwind and be safe, and now Mick was going to invade that. She went in the bathroom to have a shower and clean herself up, after having herself being thrown up on three times today.  
Mick made her think, maybe he was right she was a lesbian and living with Jeff wasn't right was it? She did enjoy having him around the house, and if he wasn't around anymore she wasn't sure what she would do the house would be empty. Yes they were married but it wasn't for love, their marriage was based on friendship they had mentioned getting a divorce before, but decided it wasn't worth it. Then a thought came to her, maybe Jeff wanted rid of her but was trying to be nice by staying with her?

An hour later they were both downstairs waiting for Mick to arrive. When he did Dixie just sat there awkwardly, not sure of what to say until Jeff prompt her.

"Dixie isn't there something you want to say?"

"Sorry for being rude, Mick" She said looking to the ground, feeling like a young child who is apologising for doing something wrong.

"That's ok Dixie, I really thought I did something to upset you"

"No you didn't" Dixie continued to look at the ground feeling petrified as he sat himself next to her on the sofa.

For the rest of the evening she left herself out of the conversation, and sat playing with Abs this helped the time pass quickly. It wasn't until Mick left Jeff spoke to her,

"Seriously Dix, what is up with you?" Jeff asked feeling annoyed of how she was behaving.

"Nothing" She said getting up and going upstairs. She went to bed falling asleep, with Jeff still in the other room. When she woke up, she got dressed downstairs Jeff was already dressed.

"Right you are paired with Mick today, and whatever it is you have got with him you can sort it out" Jeff said sternly, hoping that Dixie being paired with him would make them sort out their differences.

"I'm working with Tamzin" Dixie said, she really didn't want to spend a twelve hour shift with Mick.

"Not anymore"

"You can't go telling me who I can and can't work with" she scowled, feeling annoyed at what he had just done.

"YES I CAN, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH HIM DIX?" Jeff questioned.

"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND"

"NO YOUR RIGHT I WOULDN'T, HE IS A NICE BLOKE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE YOU BEING RUDE"

"ME BEING RUDE, YOU KNOW NOTHING!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT IM GLAD I CHANGED THE ROTA'S IT WILL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO SEE HOW GOOD HE IS"

"YOU ARE SO STUPID SOMETIMES JEFFREY!" She shouted back from the top of the stairs.

"ME STUPID, AT LEAST IM NOT BEING A RUDE COW. WHAT IS UP WITH YOU DIXIE, YOUR ACTING SPOILT AND SELFSISH, UNTIL YOU AND HIM MAKE THINGS UP, IM LEAVING. I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND SOMEBODY LIKE YOU!"

"FINE" Dixie bellowed storming out the house; she was just going to have to put up with Mick. She got to the ambulance bay, where her and Jeff avoided each other like the plague both sharing the same hate for each other at this moment in time. Dixie felt sad about what he said to her, he clearly expressed his feelings of hate towards her.

Dixie hopped into the ambulance where Mick was already in the driver's side starting the engine.

"I think it is time we dealt with this unfinished business, don't you?" Dixie felt her pulse become rapid and butterflys in her stomach, as a sly smile was spread across his face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who is reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think sorry for any spelling mistakes xxx**

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During that shift, Dixie tried to keep her distance but it was hard because he was her partner. There was a major incident and Jeff and Tamzin arrived in the other ambulance, she went over to Jeff reluctantly.

"Jeff please let me go with Tamzin" She begged, not wanting to be with Mick as he was scaring her the way he always stared at her.

"Have you sorted out your problems?" He asked not even making eye contact with her.

"No, but…" She hoped Jeff would agree to her swapping.

"Then what are you doing wasting my time." He said bluntly, still not looking at her.

"You have really disappointed me Dixie" Dixie's eyes filled up with tears,

"Whatever Jeffrey" Jeff looked up as he could tell by Dixie's voice she was crying, but he didn't get the chance to speak as she already turned and left him.

Dixie felt upset about what had happened, how could Jeff say she disappointed him she didn't do anything wrong.

Mick and Dixie didn't speak that much, but she constantly felt his eyes on her. She was angry at Jeff for pairing her with him then not letting her swap, when she was supposed to be with Tamzin in the first place. It wasn't until the shift was nearly over, he brought up a conversation.

"You are a disgrace Dixie"

"No wonder your parents didn't believe you. Neither would Jeff, he isn't too happy with you at the moment is he?" Dixie didn't say anything, just sat in the passenger's side playing with her hands tracing the lines of her palm with her palm, trying to hide her fear.

"We should be heading back to base" Dixie said quietly, hoping he would start the drive back to the ambulance bay.

"I'm not finished with you yet,"

"What is it you want from me?" Dixie pleaded, she never done anything to him.

"I want you to see yourself as the cow you really are. Lesbians aren't meant to be living with a man, let alone be married to one. God knows what Jeff saw in you; you know he regrets marrying you don't you?" Dixie felt silent tears rolling down her cheeks, she had lost everything and it was all because of him.

"Please…"

"Please what, please take me back, please don't hurt me. Or is it please don't kill me" Dixie felt her heart stop, he wasn't capable of killing her was he? He wouldn't be able to do that, would he? She swallowed the forming lump in her throat unable to say anything.

She was unable to do anything as he started driving, she didn't recognise the route he was taking.

"Where are we going?" She asked, this wasn't the route back to base.

"Somewhere you will never be found" He replied, having a large smirk on his face. Dixie thought of ways she could escape but being on the road, driving at a fast pace she would kill herself if she jumped out. She sat looking out the window trying to think of what to do, she bit her lip.

The ambulance pulled up outside an abandoned warehouse, he was right nobody would find them here.

"Get out" Mick grunted in harsh way, Dixie did as she was told. Looking around for any other buildings, or anyone who she could call to for help. She moved her hand to her radio, but Mick grabbed hold of her wrist twisting it, then pulling the radio of her uniform taking it for himself.

"Don't go doing anything stupid Dixie" He dragged her into the building, throwing her to the cold concrete floor.

"Please, I haven't done anything" She begged, she was scared and just wanted to go home to feel the warmth and safety. He just laughed at her, she was cowering on the ground there was no way she would be able to overpower him, he was a lot stronger than Dixie as well as taller. She could feel new tears falling, feeling like she did before at secondary school all of this was because she was a lesbian and living with Jeff.

"You're a lesbian, let's just call this me reminding you of that" At that moment Dixie felt hard impact in her stomach as he kicked her. She clutched it hard, holding her eyelids shut from the pain.

"Jeff doesn't care about you, I will be doing him a favour" Dixie continued to cry as she lay on the floor feeling hopeless. She could hear Mick's laugh fill the dark cold room as he enjoyed watching her in pain. He pulled one of her arms up so she was in a standing position, then pinned her against the wall. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he just held her tighter making her wince as the grasp around her wrist was becoming increasingly tight.

"People like you, don't deserve to have somebody like Jeff. He wouldn't switch with you earlier would he?" Dixie continued to cry as she knew if Jeff would have just switched this wouldn't be happening. He then twisted her wrist awkwardly, as he did a sickening snap echoed throughout the warehouse. Dixie gasped, falling to the ground holding her now broken wrist.

"Your just a worthless lesbo, I said I would come back and I always keep my promises Kathleen" He spoke with another sly grin, standing over her showing her he was the one with the power. He kicked her again in the chest and she felt a sharp stabbing pain inside, making her gasp for air. She then felt impact on her cheek as he slapped her so hard, her head hit the concrete floor at an alarming force making everything go Dizzy.

"See Dixie you should have said please don't kill me, because nobody is going to find you" He laughed at his cunning plan and the barely conscious Dixie lying on the floor unable to move. He felt around in her pockets pulling out her phone, so she had no way of contacting anybody.

"Shame the last words you will hear from Jeff are that he was disappointed in you" He kicked Dixie again, she was now unconscious lying there lifeless. He smiled at his work and left, leaving her there on the floor. In the ambulance he cleaned himself up, washing his hands so they were clean of her blood. Then he looked at her phone he had a plan, he started a new message.

**Sorry for telling you this way Jeff,  
I can't be with you anymore, I am leaving Holby for good.  
A fresh start somewhere new  
I can't do this any longer pretending to be someone I'm not,  
This is the last you will hear from me. Thank you for everything you have done  
I am sorry I just have to leave, don't come looking as you will never find me,  
Goodbye Jeffrey Collier,  
Dixie xxx **

He smiled then sent the text to Jeff's number, and then taking the ambulance back to base leaving Dixie in the warehouse.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to beethovenRIP who helped me with this chapter, sorry again for any bad spelling xxx**

**And sorry for uploading the wrong chap to start off with xxx**

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**JEFF POV **

I think I said some pretty harsh things to Dixie, things that I really shouldn't have. I shouldn't have called her cow, or say I would leave her I would never be able to leave her no matter what she did. When she stormed out the house, I realised I really shouldn't have said those things I was going to have to find a way to make it up to her.

While she was working with Mick I had to think of something to make it up to her, I knew this would be hard. We could never go on arguing for long, but one of us always needed to apologise first this time it was going to be me, I had no right to shout at her like I did. I sighed as I went outside, seeing Dixie had taken the car, leaving me to walk and in the cold English weather that was going to be a joy but I did deserve it.

It didn't take me long, but at least Dixie didn't walk although I was annoyed with her I didn't want her walking in this sort of weather. I went in the ambulance bay, the warmth hitting me this was a great feeling. I knew Dixie was pissed off with me about switching the rota's so I was working with Tamzin and she was working with Mick, but she needed to get over her problem with him.

"Alright Jeff"

"Yeah, think I've got some apologising to do later though" I said, opening my locker looking at the contents inside.

"Why what's happened?" I could always trust Tamzin to listen to me; maybe she could help me find a way of making things up to Dixie. I got dressed into my work clothes, and then got into the ambulance beside Tamzin.

"So what has your big gob landed you in now?" Tamzin asked she knew me rather well, knowing if I was in trouble with Dixie it was only ever because of something I have said.

"Well she is just been acting a bit, off"

"You said it was because…"

"Yeah I know what I said, but I know Dixie and she isn't normally like this" I said, still trying to figure out what was wrong with Dixie.

"So what did you say?"

"Called her a selfish cow, spoilt and that if she didn't work things out with Mick I was leaving"

"What makes you think Mick has got anything to do with it?"

"I dunno, it's just whenever he is around Dixie just…" I didn't even know how to describe it, it seemed every time I mentioned him or he was near Dixie just wasn't Dixie anymore. I sighed resting my head on the steering wheel, waiting until we got a shout.

We soon got one, it was a major incident Dixie was also there she came over to me, but I hung my head in shame unable to look at her because I wasn't sure how to apologise.

"Jeff please let me go with Tamzin" I could tell from her voice she was begging, but I needed to talk with Tamzin asked her for more advice.

"Have you sorted out your problems?" He asked not even making eye contact with her.

"No, but…"

"Then what are you doing wasting my time." He said bluntly, still not looking at her. Maybe I should have been more sensitive.

"You have really disappointed me Dixie" I bit my tongue only realising what I said, I didn't mean it what I meant to say is ' I am sorry for disappointing you Dixie' but my head was in such of a mess it didn't come out right.

"Whatever Jeffrey" I could tell from her voice she was crying, so I looked up immediately before I could explain what I really meant to say she walked off back to her ambulance with Mick.

"Nice one Jeffrey" I muttered to myself knowing now more apologising would be needed.

"I think you have thrown all your eggs out of your basket there mate" the old man on the floor croaked,

"Yeah I think your right" I replied going back, to help him. Once we finished with that shout I returned to asking Tamzin for advice.

"Something is defiantly up with Dixie" I admitted, while twiddling my thumbs.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well earlier at that accident, she practically begged me to swap so she could work with you" I stopped twiddling my thumbs and looked out of the windscreen of the ambulance.

"Why me?"

"I don't think it's you, I think it's she doesn't want to work with Mick" I said trying to figure out why.

"Why wouldn't she want to not work with him?" Tamzin was thinking along the same lines as me.

"I'm trying to figure that one out myself Tamzin"

After the shift finished, we took the ambulance back to base and Tamzin had helped me think of a way to make it up to her. It basically involved me begging for her forgiveness on my knees if I had too, I wasn't going to let this argument drag on I loved her too much. I out of my work clothes and me and Tamzin waited for Dixie and Mick to come back.

"Where do you think they are?" Tamzin asked, I was getting a little worried at this point.

"I don't know, maybe they got a late shout or something?" I said this for my assurance, but it wasn't really working it didn't ease my worry. I was relieved when an ambulance arrived back, I had to think of what to say to Dixie, I couldn't live without her and I had to show her this.

When we went closer to the ambulance there was only one person in it, no Dixie maybe she was in the back. Mick got out coming towards us, both with a sad look on his face.

"Where's Dixie?" I asked, immediately worried and concerned for her safety.

"I'm sorry Jeff I tried to stop her, but she ran she said she had to get away" I did not expect to hear this.

"No, no she wouldn't do that" Dixie wouldn't leave me we argued before but we always made up she couldn't leave me now.

"She said she would text you" At this moment I pulled out my phone, sure enough there was one text from Dixie, I plucked up the courage to open it.

**Sorry for telling you this way Jeff,  
I can't be with you anymore, I am leaving Holby for good.  
I can't do this any longer pretending to be someone I'm not,  
This is the last you will hear from me. Thank you for everything you have done  
I am sorry I just have to leave, don't come looking as you will never find me,  
Goodbye Jeffrey Collier,  
Dixie xxx **

I felt Tamzin looking over my shoulder; I couldn't help the tears falling. She couldn't of gone my Dixie would never leave me, but she has and it was my fault. I broke down in tears, coming to realise that I would never see her again, never hear her strong northern accent, never get to look into her bright blue eyes, I could never do these things because she was gone, and the last thing I said to her was that I was dissapointed in her, I couldn't have told a bigger lie.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeff POV

"Jeff I am so sorry" Mick was trying to come closer, but I pushed him away I was accepting the fact that my princess left me.

"No she hasn't gone"

"She has I'm sorry I tried to stop her" He continued to move closer but I pushed him, back Dixie couldn't have gone could she?

"No Mick, she wouldn't leave me and say goodbye by text. She wouldn't…" I could feel the tears streaming, I wasn't going to believe she left me she couldn't have left me. I knew I said some stupid things, but surely she hadn't gone because of it.

"Jeff maybe she fancied a change" Tamzin stepped in, but I know Dixie moving away from Holby was a drastic change.

"No, not you too Tamzin, come on you know she wouldn't leave. Please Tamzin, you can't believe this" I begged, not wanting to be the only one believing Dixie wouldn't just leave me.

"Ok, well Mick where were you?" Tamzin asked, he moved his hand to his mouth when I noticed some small grazes on his knuckles.

"Where'd you get those?" I asked he looked at me confused, then I pointed to his knuckles.

"Oh hit my hand on the ambulance didn't I" He then held his hands behind him, while I looked at him suspiciously.

"Right…" I replied but I wasn't too convinced, I was extremely worried about Dixie I wanted her safe in my arms, I wanted to know she was ok.

"I'm going to go get out of my work clothes" He walked passed me, and I swear as he did I could smell blood.

"What you thinking Jeff?" Tamzin asked me, I didn't know myself what I was thinking but something told me it wasn't good.

"I don't know… Follow me" I sniffed rubbing my eyes so I could see properly, Tamzin followed me into the locker room. Where I pulled out my phone, running through my contacts until I got to Dixie's number if this was true I needed to hear it from her voice, and I would try my best to get her to come back with me, I was not letting my Dixie go without a fight. It just rang straight through to her ringtone, that must mean she was ok it just meant she rejected my call.

"Dixie I am so sorry for what I said, but please come back I need you Dix. Please let me know you are safe, please call me Princess I can't believe I am begging please" With that I ended the call, before breaking down into tears again.

"Jeff come on, let's get you home"

"I can't go back without her." I couldn't go into that house without Dixie, I needed her I wasn't going to believe she just left me she wouldn't leave me she just wouldn't.

"Try her number again" I followed Tamzin's instructions, this time we could hear Dixie's ringtone I stood up me and Tamzin followed it. Finding it was coming from Micks rucksack, I hung up then Tamzin went through his bag, I saw her face turn white, I soon found out why as she pulled out an originally white cloth but covered in a crimson red colour blood. She rummages around a little more finding Dixie's mobile, all the signs pointed to he hurt her and it was my fault, I should have noticed the fear she showed when she wanted to swap.

"I swear to god if he has done anything, I will kill him" I had my fists clenched, he couldn't of hurt her not my Dixie she never did anything to hurt could he send me that text pretending to be Dixie saying she left me, but he didn't know how well I knew Dixie. I had no clue as what he done to her, I was angry, sad and frustrated but overall worried.

"Jeff no, we need to find Dixie" Tamzin had a point, we needed to find Dixie and see if she was ok, but something inside me told me she wasn't.

"Jeff when was that text sent?" Tamzin asked in a rush, putting the bag back so it looked like we didn't mess with it.

"2 hours ago" I said, Wherever Dixie was it looked like she was injured.

"Come on we can find out where the ambulance went, at control" With that we ran to control, looking at the route the ambulance took. Jeff they went to the old warehouse,

"When was that?" I asked not sure if I wanted to know the answer. But I needed to know how long Dixie had been left out there.

"2 and a half hours ago, come on we can take one of the ambulances" We rushed off to one of the ambulances, getting in Tamzin drove as I wasn't sure I would be able to drive through the tears I was crying. We arrived outside the warehouse, it was dark outside we grabbed as much medical equipment as neither of us knew if Dixie was ok, I just hoped we weren't too late. When we got in it was so dark you wouldn't be able to see your hand if it was in front of your face. I was starting to panic, hoping Dixie was here if she wasn't I didn't know where to look.

"DIXIE, DIXIE WHERE ARE YOU PRINCESS?" I called, Tamzin got out the flash torch so we could see.

"DIXIE CAN YOU HEAR US?" Tamzin also called, then we noticed a figure lying on the floor surrounded by blood, as we got closer we could see it was Dixie she was lying motionless on the floor. We sat either side of her, blood was surrounding her an obvious broken wrist these were the only injury's we were aware of.

"Dixie oh god princess, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have paired you with him, please wake up Dix please" I looked down at her bruised and battered body, I put an oxygen mask on her then felt for a pulse, it was very weak.

"Jeff she needs fluids now." Panic was obvious in both of our voices.

"I know," With that I inserted an IV, pushing in the fluids. We hastily, put her on a spinal board, and put a supported her broken wrist. I sat with her in the back of the ambulance, stroking her hair as Tamzin drove back to the E.D,

"5 minutes Jeff, have you radioed ahead"

"Yeah" I replied knowing all our friends were waiting at the E.D getting ready to treat Dixie.

"I am so sorry Dix I shouldn't have left you" I started to cry, knowing if I would have swapped she wouldn't be injured. I then noticed blood falling from the corner of her mouth,

"Shit princess, don't do this" Suddenly the machine monitoring Dixie's Heart rate, went into a long beep also known as cardiac arrest.

"No Dix, you're not doing this to me, I'm not letting you go" I started chest compressions, hoping that she would come back. It was my fault, all my fault.


	8. Chapter 8

Jeff POV

I continued with the compressions, until we got outside the ED. The ambulance doors were opened, and me and Tamzin wheeled Dixie out. As we went into the ED I continued compressions in the light It was easy to see her deathly pale complexion, but even more frightening her light blue lips indicating there was no oxygen going into her system.

"Dixie Collier, 38. Severe beating multiple injuries' including a head injury went into cardiac arrest 3 minutes ago" Although it had only been three minutes it was the longest 3 minutes of my life, Dixie was my everything I wouldn't be able to cope with losing her.

Sam took over CPR, will I just stood there nobody was throwing me out as everybody was too busy rushing around Dixie. Mick did this, I was 100% sure what did Dixie do to him. I could understand now why she wanted to not work with him, if it wasn't for me interfering she wouldn't be in this condition.

He watched as they shocked Dixie in attempt to bring her back, and again. 3 minutes had turned to 13, to 30 I looked to the floor how was I going to cope without Dixie, how was I going to…

"We've got her back," These words pulled me out of my thoughts, I could see Dixie's chest moving up and down it was slow and weak, but she was breathing. I let out a sigh of relief but she wasn't out of the woods yet, I could feel Tamzin put her arm around my shoulders.

Dixie was attached to various monitors, all showing us that she wasn't doing too great. Her pulse to slow and weak, blood pressure too low and losing a lot of blood from somewhere. I could see her starting to shake, see her muscles going into spasm she was fitting.

"Can we get some help, once the fitting has subsided she needs an urgent CT." Sam was in charge of Dixie's care, I felt helpless watching her continuing to fit knowing she came to me for help and I pushed her away. Why my Dixie? Why her she never did anything to anyone, but yet somebody did this to her.

Dixie stopped fitting, but her pulse and blood pressure were even lower than before. She was wheeled out to have a CT, her body was so lifeless there was nothing that represented her at all no warmth, nothing. Sam came over to me, and started to explain what was happening to Dixie.

"We think Dixie may have a bleed in the brain, if that is the case we need to get her to surgery as soon as possible. We are also concerned about her ribs, we think some of them are broken and that one of them has punctured her lung" I froze listening to Dixie's large extent of injuries all of them that could have been prevented by me.

"What is going to happen?" I asked not sure if I wanted to know the answer, all I knew is she would need a long recovery time in hospital, I just prayed she would be ok but the odds were piled against her.

"We will need to wait for the CT results before we can decide on the best treatment for her, in the meantime you can wait in the relatives room. I will find you if anything changes" I gave a small nod, knowing there wasn't anything I could do. Going into the relative's room, I buried my head in my hands. I was never going to let Dixie out of my sight, she didn't deserve to have this happen to her, she never did anything bad to anyone. I didn't notice the minutes adding up, until the door opened revealing Sam.

"The CT confirms what we thought, she is bleeding and it is putting pressure on her brain. She is also bleeding into her stomach; we think her spleen is ruptured. She does need surgery; we need your permission as you are her next of kin" This is something I never wanted to have to make a decision on, either way I go I am putting Dixie at risk with her being on the operating table or letting her body fight herself, but it was going to be too much for her to do alone this time.

"Ok," That was all I could manage to say, I couldn't say anything else I was trying to hold back the tears but it was all too much for me to handle.

"She will be in surgery for a while, so you can go home and get some rest" I shook my head, how could I go home and sleep when she was in a life threatening condition, the only way I wanted to leave this hospital was with Dixie safe and well. Sam nodded,

"Can I see her before she goes?" I questioned, a thought coming into my mind what if she didn't survive the surgery what if the last thing I said to her would be that I was disappointed in her. Sam nodded again, and I stood up following her into resus where Dixie was attached to every monitor I could think of, needles up and down her arms and the defibrillator next to her bed in case the worst came around. I stood next to Dixie stroking her hair and holding her hand.

"I'm so sorry Dix, but you need to get through this. You're a fighter princess, I'm not going to let you give up." I was letting my tears fall, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop them. I wanted this to all be a bad dream and wake up, and be able to hold Dixie and listen to her tell me that I was being a stupid sod, but this wasn't going to happen.

"I love you Dix, please stay with me" I begged, kissing her forehead and feeling a little warmth. She was then wheeled off to Surgery, as I watched her go into the lift I could see Mick standing in the entrance to the ED, I couldn't contain my anger anymore. He nearly killed my Dixie, my Dixie could still die and this was down to him and he was less than 20 paces away from me.


	9. Chapter 9

Jeff POV

I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but I wanted him to feel pain I wanted him in the same pain Dixie was in but a million times worse. I had my fists clenched so hard, that I could feel my nails digging into my palm. Everyone in the ED went silent, sensing the tension as he entered the room. All eyes giving him an icy glare, everybody cared about Dixie and she was badly hurt because of him. I couldn't believe what happened then,

"Alright Jeff, what you doing in here?" He started coming dangerously close, he still had no idea that I knew what he done.

"What am I doing in here, I think you know" I spat back, trying to contain myself. I could see Tom moving closer towards us not taking his eyes of Mick.

"Oh come on Jeff, you don't really care about her. You will be better off with her dead anyway" How could he even say that? I was nothing without Dixie, I cared about her more that I had ever cared about anyone. If Dixie died, I would not be better off I wouldn't be able to live with myself. That was it; I couldn't contain myself anymore my fist clenched into a tight ball. I hit him as hard as I could right across the face, knocking him to the floor.

"JEFF, CAN WE GET SECURITY OVER HERE PLEASE!" If it wasn't for me being restrained by Sam and Tom, I would have got another phew kicks in. But they held me back; Mick was on the floor his hands covering his face.

"WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU?! SHE COULD DIE AND IT IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" I wanted to know why he felt it was ok to hurt my Dixie, to put her in the life threatening condition it is in now.

"She is easily manipulated, to think you hate her. Let's face it, it was pretty easy to start you two fighting" The smirk on his face made me angrier, as he wiped the underneath of his nose which was bleeding, but not as much as I wanted it too. I tried to get myself out of Sam and Tom's gasp but it was pointless,

"Let's face it, you're the one who paired her with me. Why do you think she wanted to avoid me? It was just like hurting her in school all over again. Her face you should have seen her, scared frightened. It was the best thing I have ever seen, then hearing her wrist crack." He stood up smiling.

My blood was boiling, I could see Dixie's face in my mind and it was something I didn't want to ever see. Her eyes full of fear and emotion, shivering as he towered over her. In my new found anger I managed to get myself out of Tom and Sam's grasp for a few seconds, but not enough as I was restrained again if Mick didn't move back, I could have had him and there was nothing that would be holding me back.

"WHAT DID SHE DO TO DESERVE WHAT YOU DID?!" I shouted, I couldn't move under Sam and Tom's grasp but I could shout.

"She deserved everything I gave her some call it bullying I call it taking care of a cow, threatening her in her office, she is just a worthless little…" Then he turned and started bolting it towards the door, I didn't know why until security ran passed us following him. Sam and Tom reluctantly let go of me after a minute or two. I scowled, then looked at my wrists noticing the blood on them I didn't notice any pain so I was surprised when I looked closer seeing it was my blood.

"Come on Jeff, let's get your hand sorted" Sam ushered me into a cubical, where I sat on the bed giving her my hand. I couldn't get Dixie's face out of my mind, her scared and frightened expression something I never wanted to see. I winced as Sam put something on my grazes that made it sting.

"Sorry," She apologised, I could then feel her wrap something around my hand.

"It's alright." I continued to look at the floor, swinging my leg still feeling the adrenaline rushing through me.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Dixie" I knew this would be something that many people would say to me, but nobody was going to be sorrier than me. I should have swapped with her, I should have noticed the signs of fear she was showing.

"You shouldn't be, it wasn't your fault it was mine" I admitted feeling annoyed at myself; I just prayed I would get the chance to make it up to her.

"Jeff what were you playing at?" Tamzin came into the cubical, closing the curtain behind her.

"That made things better did it? Punching him" She continued, I swallowed before talking.

"It made me feel better" I said, looking at my now bandaged hand. It would have made me feel better, if I got in a few more hits.

"What happens now if he charges you for abuse?" She questioned, I never thought of this. I was so stupid, thinking about making myself feel better by hitting him and not thinking about the consequences it would have.

"He isn't going to press charges" I said mainly to try and assure myself. Knowing I would need to be here to look after Dix.

"You know that do you?" She sat on the end of my bed, I could tell from the tone of voice she was using she was annoyed at me, I was annoyed at myself.

"Yes I do," I replied in a spiteful manner looking at her, I could see she was upset by the way I replied. I sighed what was wrong with me?

"Sorry Tamzin" I used a softer tone

"It's alright Jeff"

"Did they get him?"

"No, security couldn't catch up" I bit my lip, feeling my blood starting to boil again. After what he did to Dixie I wanted him to rot in prison and the key thrown away, if only the death sentence was brought back.

"Great" I said sarcastically getting out of the cubical so I wasn't clogging them up. The man that did this to her was out there, and for his sake he better hope I didn't bump into him. I went into the relatives room thinking about what he said, he manipulated Dixie making her think that I hated her, which I really didn't I just hoped she knew this. I wondered what he did to her, what he said to her? I didn't know if I wanted the answers or not. But it was my fault for this, he was right I did pair Dixie with him. I know knew why she wanted to swap, she was scared of him and wanted to feel safe she was always one for trying to solve her own problems and putting up with things she shouldn't have too, I just wished she would have told me I would have never left her side. I didn't realise I had spent hours lost in my thoughts, the door slowly opened revealing Sam and Tamzin both looking like they had been crying.

"Is she out of surgery?" I asked, wanting to sit with her. Sam gave a weak nod, but neither of them spoke.

"Is she ok, please tell me she is ok" I begged, pleading but the lack of assurance I got made my body turn cold.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeff POV

"She's not…" She couldn't be dead, there was so much left unsaid she couldn't have died my Dixie couldn't have gone.

"No Jeff, but there was complications in the surgery," Sam moved herself so she was in the room, the word complications ran through my mind, what sort of complications what could have happened?

"What complications what happened?" I asked, feeling my pulse getting faster and feeling my heart pounding.

"Complications that have left her on life support, the chances of her making it are slim" She was on life support, unable to do anything for herself. Why was I so stupid letting her work with him?

"Where is she?" I asked trying to keep it together but not really succeeding.

"She is in intensive care, would you like to see her?" I nodded, I didn't even have to think twice I needed to see her and be with her. I followed Sam with Tamzin, until we were outside her room. Kathleen Collier written on the door, then I remembered our wedding day the day I promised her dad I would look after her, today I broke that promise.

Opening the door, we could see Dixie lying there totally motionless. On a ventilator and machines doing everything for her, I stood there taking it all in this was a sight I never wanted to see a sight that even in my nightmares I never saw. I started to gag seeing that tube down her throat, but it was doing good and as long as it meant Dixie stayed with me I didn't mind.

"Jeff her chances of recovering are very low, and if she does there is a high risk of brain damage we won't know for sure unless she wakes up"

"She will wake up" I interrupted I wasn't letting my Dixie go; she was going to stay here with me. Neither of them replied, I knew deep down that she may not survive this but there was still a chance and as long as there was a chance I had hope.

Sam nodded and then left, leaving me and Tamzin.

"She is going to be ok, right Jeff?" Tamzin looked to me, asking for the same assurance I was looking for myself.

"Of course she is" I replied as we shared a tight embrace, Dixie meant so much to us both.

"I have to go, call me if anything changes"

"Yeah, stay safe" I said, I wouldn't be able to cope with something happening to Tamzin as well as Dixie, I knew it was Dixie whom Mick had the problem with but he was a sick and twisted man on the lose none of us knew what he was thinking. She smiled at me weakly than left, I turned looking at Dixie once again, finding the courage to go closer. As I did, I could see her pale face, cuts and bruises covering her arms as well as needles. Her right wrist in plaster, I was now next to her bed. I put my hand to her head, stroking the hair that had fallen lose from the bandage that was on her head. I couldn't stop myself from shaking as I looked at her, she should have never been in this way.

"Dix you should have told me, I wouldn't have let him near you" I got nothing in response except the beeps from the monitor, continuing to beep at a steady pace letting us know the ventilator was doing its job well, breathing for her so she could stay with me.

I couldn't understand why she didn't tell me how she felt, what he was doing manipulating her. I felt sick, knowing she had been going through this alone, without my support. I continued to stroke her hair, hoping this wouldn't be the last night I would spend with her.

"I don't know why you didn't tell me princess, but I know now and I'm going to protect you. You just need to be ok" Tears were streaming down my face; I needed Dixie to survive this I wouldn't be able to cope if she was taken away from me, especially in this way.

I sat on the chair, rubbing circles with my thumb on her hand. I remembered all the bad things I have ever said to her, all the arguments and the name calling none of it she deserved and it always seemed to be me who started the arguments, then I remembered the last words I said to her. I told her she disappointed me, she could never disappoint me no matter what she did.

"What I said Dixie, I couldn't have told a bigger lie. You have never disappointed me, never I was stupid for saying that. You can wake up and scream blue murder, but just wake up" I didn't care what she called me, or what she did I deserved it and more. In a way I wanted her to be angry, to shout at me tell me I was a failure of a husband as I felt like I deserved her to do all these things. I felt so responsible for her being here like this; I continued rubbing circles in her un injured hand.

"I can't go on without you princess, I can't…" I admitted, Dixie meant the world to me I wouldn't know where I would be without her. I then thought of all the things that I would have to do without her, stay in that house, come to work without her, a funeral. I couldn't contain myself and threw up in the cardboard bowl, hoping I would never have to do those things but I was so close to being alone. I put the bowl in the bin, going back to Dixie once I felt the sickness pass.

I wasn't going to be alone, I wasn't letting Dixie go.

"Come on Dix, you know you can't leave me." I was scared this was going to finish us, that Dixie would be trapped somewhere alone, leaving me here alone. I never believed in heaven or ghosts, but if Dixie didn't make this, I had to believe she was still out there somewhere waiting for me. I wondered if when she did wake up she would forgive me, forgive me for leaving her and not taking her place with Mick. But as long as she was alive, I didn't care if she forgave me or not I just wanted her to be well. I had never been so scared in my life, no that was a lie the last time I was this scared is when Sophia went missing thank god I found her, there was plenty of nutters out there Mick had proved this and to think at one point I thought he was nice. I was never going to be so trusting again, especially with the people around Dixie I was not going to let her leave my side whether she liked it or not.

I loved Dixie so much, I wasn't sure if she felt the same way, but after what I did I hoped our relationship wouldn't be affected but I wasn't so sure, questions began running through my mind.

Would she still want to be with me?  
Would she want to be around me?  
Would she hate me?  
Was she going to tell me how she really felt?  
Would she let me care for her?

I knew she was going to need a lot of help if she survived this, I hoped she would just let me care and help her, I also wanted to know why she didn't tell me about Mick I could have prevented this from happening. I should have been more sensitive to her; I just thought she was in a bad mood I had no clue as to what was really going on between her and Mick.

"Ow Dixie, what am I going to do with you?" I had an idea of why she didn't tell me, maybe she thought she could have dealt with it on her own, but she shouldn't have to have dealt with it on her own. I used my fingers to trace around her cuts on her cheeks, feeling that they were a little swollen and bruised. If she survived this she may have brain damage, what would that mean? Would I ever get my old Dixie back? She was going to need me more than ever though, I would have to help her recover through this.

If she woke up, I would have to tell her how I really felt. That I wouldn't have been able to live without her, I wanted to hear her northern accent telling me to stop being sentimental and get on with things, but the truth was I wouldn't be able to do anything without her. I held her hand tight not letting go, scared if I did she would fade away the tube down her throat breathing for her made me ill.

"Dixie don't leave me princess, I love you too much" I felt a dryness in my throat all my thoughts leaking out to the sleeping Dixie wondering if she would be able to hear me. I wasn't going to sleep tonight, knowing deep down it could be the last night I spent with my Dixie I was going to spend it talking to her, hoping she could hear me and would come back. I didn't want this to be the last night I spent with my princess.


	11. Chapter 11

Jeff POV

I spent the night talking to Dixie, about old memories. Our wedding, little Abs even the first time we met, I then spent the rest of the time rambling on about nothing hoping if she could hear me she would wake up and tell me to let her sleep without me talking. I smiled imagining hearing her northern accent, 'Shut up Jeffrey, I'm ill and need my rest'. I chuckled it sounded almost real; I then went looking back at Dixie, my smile turning back to a frown seeing how helpless she really was.

"You really know how to scare me Princess, I think I have been through enough now so please wake up," I begged I wanted to see her eyes, and more importantly I wanted that tube out of her throat. Various nurses came and went that night, most of them told me that I should be preparing myself for the worst but I couldn't, I wasn't going to let Dixie leave me. Soon the light was streaming in the room, I was grateful she survived the night but she still had a long way to go.

"You have come so far Dix, don't give up now" I pleaded she couldn't have come this far to give up now, I knew it was only one night but it was a major achievement giving her injuries. I never left her for more than a couple of minutes, I didn't want her alone when that sicko was still out there.

Hours turned into days, eventually weeks. She was proving the doctors wrong, and getting stronger every day, Tamzin was looking after little Abs so I could stay with Dixie I didn't want her to wake up without me and feel alone. She was having regular CT's to monitor her head injury, but nobody would know the affects until she woke up, I just hoped when she did I would have my old Dixie back. In the two weeks she had been in intensive care, I hadn't left her not to go home I survived on the food from the vending machine outside but didn't venture too far away from her.

I jumped holding Dixie's hand tighter as the door opened revealing Tamzin,

"I'm sorry Jeff" I could tell from her voice she was panicking so I asked her what was wrong.

"It's ok, what is it?"

"You're not going to believe this" She handed me a piece of paper I couldn't believe what it said, Mick had been put in charge of the ambulance bay while Dixie was in hospital.

"Shouldn't he be arrested?" I asked, he nearly killed Dixie and he had just been given a promotion.

"The ambulance trust have taken a liking to him, and until Dixie wakes up there is no evidence to say he was the one who attacked Dixie" I listened carefully as to what she was saying, they couldn't arrest him as there was no evidence, this was one of the most stupidest things ever it was obviously him who did this.

"How can he even come back here?"

"I don't know, he swears he wasn't the one who did this and says he isn't going to press charges for you attacking him"

"That's because he knows he deserves it" I said giving her the piece of paper back, and then sitting with Dixie. Maybe he wasn't the one who did this to Dixie, but he basically admitted it to me in the ED.

"The ambulance trust also said, once Dixie comes back to work she will be competing for the job with Mick" I turned looking at Tamzin,

"So the trust are saying, that Dixie might not get her Job back" I was appalled

"Not as the boss no, but she is guaranteed a job as a paramedic." Tamzin replied, this was complete and utter crap. Dixie was great at her job, although it made her stressed she enjoyed it, if she lost it to him that would be awful as he would be her boss, my boss!

"Jeff maybe we got it wrong, maybe he wasn't the one who did this to Dixie. I mean she was in the warehouse there are a lot of weirdo's around there" She had a point, but Mick basically admitted it to me. Maybe I heard him wrong, I was tired and worn out from what happened but that didn't explain why he had Dixie's phone.

"Maybe…" I started thinking, maybe she was right.

"Anyway I have to go, little abs will be wanting his walk"

"Thanks Tamzin" I smiled as she left, feeling bad about leaving abs but I needed to be with Dixie. I could suddenly hear a lot of coughing and spluttering, I pressed the call button standing up from my seat giving the nurses room.

"Shit Dix not now. Not now" I begged, continuing to hear a gaging sound. The monitors going ballistic, all making different beeping noises but eventually they calmed down and the nurses moved away. As they did I could see the tube from Dixie's mouth had gone.

"Mr Collier your wife has started to breathe on her own, she needs to be monitored closely in case she gets worse" I felt happy and sad at the same time, I could see Dixie without gaging at the tube deep inside her, but at the same time it was down to her body to remember to breathe.

I returned to my seat holding Dixie's hand.

"I'm so proud of you princess, you need to keep fighting" I knew she could turn at any moment so I enjoyed this huge step while I could.

"You need to pull through, I can't live without you" I stroked her hair, continuing to encourage her to wake up for the next couple of hours, until all the emotions were too much for me to stay awake. I didn't know how I was going to tell Dixie, they may be replacing her. I started to think maybe it wasn't Mick who did this maybe I jumped to conclusions? I knew he was clumsy, so he could have cut his knuckles on the ambulance, and the blood on the cloth was his. I could have been imagining what he said, I was in a state at the time. Why would he do such a thing to Dixie anyway? It couldn't have been him could it?

"Jeff?" A familiar voice croaked, making me awake.

"Princess?"


	12. Chapter 12

Dixie felt tired, and worn out she remembered vaguely what had happened. She remembered Mick hurting her, shouting at her abuse calling her names. Leaving her for dead, she then saw Jeff next to her, she didn't know how she was feeling at the moment about him but annoyed was her over powering feeling. She didn't want to tell him what happened, she knew him and Mick got along and it would only make things worse if she told him the truth, she was also annoyed at what he said to her calling her the things he did he hurt her more in those words than Mick ever did.

"So have I disappointed you even more then Jeffrey" She said, trying to sit herself up but Jeff pushed her back down gently.

"No need to rush things, and I was never disappointed. I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm sorry" he let a tear fall from his eye, knowing Dixie was not going to forgive him easy but he deserved it. He knew he had hurt her with the things he said.

"Well you sounded like you meant it. And sorry sometimes isn't good enough" Dixie scowled, looking at her wrist which was in a cast. Remembering as Mick broke it, she couldn't tell Jeff about this. She would just have to lie, she didn't want to annoy Jeff as she was sure he wouldn't believe her, and she wanted him to stay with her, she thought that if she told him he would call her some nasty names and leave her.

"Don't be like this Dixie please, you scared me so much"

"Don't be like what, your the one who called me a spoilt and selfish cow" She scowled stilll feeling angry at Jeff.

"I didn't mean it princess, I didn't expect this to happen"

"So that made it alright did it?" She said harshly, then remembering she was in hospital and Jeff looked like he hadn't left her. She used a calmer tone, feeling bad about being harsh on him.

"What happened?" She asked a little confused as to why there was machines around her bed, she remembered what happened but wondered how she was found.

"You sent me a text saying you left me, me and Tamzin found you in the warehouse" Jeff continued to stroke Dixie's hair out of her eyes, he didn't say what he thought as he wanted to hear Dixie's side of the story.

"Why a text Dixie? Of all what we have been through, you send me a text to say goodbye" Dixie shivered as she knew Mick must have taken her phone texting Jeff, she was going to have to bluff like mad as she desperately wanted Jeff to stay, pretend she sent the text even though she had no clue as to what he was on about.

"It was easier" She replied not looking at him, as she thought it would help her lie but it didn't she felt bad for not telling the truth but she was to scared too.

"Who hurt you Princess?" Jeff asked, he wanted to know what Dixie said, maybe she did send him the text this hurt him to think she did. That she was going to leave him, and she said goodbye to him by a text it hurt him to think that she couldn't say goodbye to his face. He was also worried after she was out of hospital she would leave him again. But he wanted to know who hurt her, if Mick did he was right and if he didn't he was going to have to apologise for hitting him. For shouting abuse at him in the ED, he didn't have a reason for hurting Dixie so why would he?

"Some lads around twenty, think I walked in on their drug deal. No point reporting it as I don't remember much" Dixie thought up quickly, knowing if she said she didn't remember Jeff wouldn't ask too many questions.

"There is every point" Jeff encouraged, continuing to hold her uninjured hand.

"It will just be a waste of time I don't remember anything" This caused a long awkward silence between the couple. Jeff knew he couldn't force Dixie into going to the police, and if she didn't remember much there wasn't much they would be able to do. He still needed to tell her about Mick taking her job.

"Dixie, there is something I need to tell you" Jeff felt bad about hitting Mick, knowing it wasn't him who hurt Dixie and he must have heard what he said wrong. He didn't know how he was going to tell Dixie she might have lost her job to him.

"What?" Dixie didn't know what to expect but she was just glad he dropped the questions about the attack, it was killing her lying to him.

"While you're getting better, Mick has taken over from you as manager" He said slowly but it didn't make things sound any better, knowing Dixie would be upset about maybe not getting her job back.

"Well I can go back soon though right?" Dixie asked, she couldn't believe he had taken her job she had worked so hard to get there and he had come along taking everything from her.

"I don't know, but you need to get better first. I think we should call the police" Jeff wanted who did this to her to get justice.

"No Jeff, I don't remember anything there is no point"

"It's not like I died is it" Jeff paused because that is what happened, she was dead for 28 minutes and they were the worst 28 minutes of his life.

"Yes you did Dix, but we got you back" He whispered, knowing Dixie had a right to know what happened while she was out cold.

"I died…?" Dixie gasped, thankful that she was back now. She was sure Jeff wouldn't have been able to cope, and she didn't want to die. Mick killed her, but thanks to her friends she was brought back. Jeff nodded unable to say it again as it hurt him too much,

"Have you been home at all?" Dixie croaked, feeling more tired.

"No I didn't want to leave you" he played with her hand, not looking at her face.

"Go home and get some rest sweetheart, I'm fine" Dixie moved her hand under his chin, tilting his head so he was looking at her.

"No I'm fine." Jeff started to stroke her hair, feeling the effects of not much sleep and lack of food. But he wasn't leaving her, he noticed Dixie beginning to look more tired but wanting to stay awake for him.

"Ok, well just get some rest, I need you well. You scared me so much princess"

"Im sorry Jeff" She started to cry, making Jeff wrap his arms around her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Dixie, just get some rest ok" He held her in a way that wouldn't hurt her, he was trying to be careful avoiding her hand and ribs.

"And you won't leave me?" She asked, still in his arms scared that he would leave her when she was sleeping so she was fighting the urge so she could stay awake.

"Never princess" He kissed her head lightly rubbing her back as she continued to cry, Mick had taken everything away from her even her job, all she had left was hers and Jeffs relationship and if she told him the truth she was scared of losing that too.


	13. Chapter 13

Jeff held Dixie, in his arms feeling her slowly relax into a sleep. He laid her down gently, then returned to holding her hand and being quiet not wanting to wake her up. He himself then went to sleep, continuing to sit in the awkward position he was sat in his head resting on the bed next to Dixie.

When he awoke, he felt his neck ached a little; he sat up properly and rubbed his neck a little. Then looked to Dixie, who was still sleeping he rubbed her palm while yawning a little. He knew Dixie was now sleeping, and that he could wake her up not that she would be to impressed but he was so thankful she was still alive.

It was another hour before he saw her eyelids start to flicker.

"Morning princess" He whispered, moving the hair from her eyes and putting his hand to her cheek softly.

"Morning, when can I go back to work?" Dixie asked wanting to get things back to normal as soon as possible.

"Dix your still in intensive care"

"I just want to get things back to normal Jeff" She said, trying to sit up but the pain in her stomach wasn't going to let her.

"I am going to make sure you are 100% better before you are going anywhere near work" Jeff informed her sternly, he wanted her healthy before returning to the stressful environment of being a paramedic.

"Can you remember any more about the attack?" Jeff asked, feeling helpless that the person or people who did this were still out there.

"No…" Dixie answered sadly, but not able to look at Jeff as she was lying to him. Jeff sighed, running his free hand over his forehead, then wiping away the start of his tears.

"You're not going to leave me again princess, are you?" Jeff didn't want to wake up one morning and Dixie had gone, he was scared of losing her.

"No. I'm sorry" She kept saying sorry, she felt guilty about him beating himself up about her.

"Why do you keep apologising Dix? It doesn't matter, your back now" He held her hand, feeling her warmth, knowing she was still with him, he didn't want her going anywhere unless it was with him.

Dixie kept apologising to Jeff, because she was lying to him. She was too scared of losing him to tell him the truth, when Dixie told her parents neither of them believed her and they didn't like Mick that much anyway. Whereas Jeff was getting along with Mick, so he could react worse but then again what could have been worse than her mum chucking her out for the night saying her daughter was lying.

Dixie was sad about the prospect of losing her job to Mick, she loved her job the paperwork was annoying but she enjoyed every minute.

"If you haven't gone home, who is looking after Abs?" Dixie asked wondering who was looking after their dog.

"Tamzin has got her, she is going to look after Abs until you can come home" Jeff knew it wouldn't be long before she asked about Abs, she wasn't expecting a dog but he got Abs for her when she was getting trouble from the Malone's, she wasn't too keen on it at first but she soon grew attached to Abs as did Jeff.

"Oh, how long have I been in here then?" She asked, not knowing how long she had been in hospital out cold.

"Two and half weeks" Jeff said slowly, remembering growing more worried after every minute. He continued rubbing comforting circles on her palm, trying to hide his emotions from Dixie.

"How long until I can get out of here" She said, attempting to sit up again. Jeff noticed her persistence and put his hands to her back helping her to sit up. She moaned in pain a couple of times, making Jeff more worried.

"You ok princess?"

"Yeah stop being so bloody worried, I'm fine" She stated trying to make him feel better, it worked as Jeff couldn't help a smile, when he was told Dixie may have had brain damage he couldn't help thinking that he would never get his Dixie back.

"Worried, Dixie you have had me completely petrified" He exclaimed, he never wanted to be that worried again, she meant too much to him. Dixie gave him a weak smile as if to say, I'm here now so stop worrying.

Jeff sat next to her again, and they began to Joke and laugh trying to avoid the subject of Dixie being in hospital.

"I'm not going to get my Job back am I?" Dixie asked fiddling with her thumbs, it would be strange not having to sort out the rota's and sort out the paperwork. Jeff didn't know how to answer her, he hoped she would but something told him otherwise.

"I don't know…"

"At least you wouldn't have the extra stress" Jeff added trying to make lighter of the situation, but it wasn't helping. Dixie didn't have chance to reply as the door opened revealing Tamzin.

"Dixie your awake, how you feeling?" Tamzin's face lit up, seeing her friend awake and going to be ok.

"I'm fine darling, thanks for looking after Abs"

"No problem"

"I'm going to leave you guys to it, I need to do something"

"Ok Jeff, I will wait until you get back"

"Thanks" he kissed Dixie lightly on the forehead, then left the room. He went towards the ambulance bay, and Dixie's office now occupied by Mick. Jeff knocked on the door, knowing he couldn't just walk in as he had previously done; Dixie's name was no longer on the door it had been replaced with Mick Williams. He waited until he was invited in, Jeff entered knowing he was going to have to apologise for hitting him.

"Jeff I swear it wasn't me who attacked Dixie"

"I know" He grunted, not sure how he was going to apologise. Mick didn't say anything just looked at Jeff.

"Dixie is awake"

"So she is going to be ok" Mick was annoyed at this, he didn't want her to be ok. He was going to have to think of something else.

"Yeah she is going to be fine" Jeff scanned his eyes around the office; it didn't feel as warm and welcoming anymore.

"Did she say who did it?" Mick asked, worried that Dixie had grassed on him.

"She doesn't know, she said she walked into a drug deal" Mick let out an unobvious sigh of relief,

"Wish her my best, and aren't you going to say something?" Mick pointed to his nose that was bruised and cut.

"Sorry…" Jeff spoke slowly, knowing he had got things wrong.

"That's ok, you better be getting back to Dixie" Mick let out a fake smile, drawing Jeff in. Jeff nodded and left, Mick waited a few minutes then punching the wall. He didn't succeed, he should have made sure she was dead before leaving; he had to think of something else. But he needed to be more careful this time, he nearly got caught out. He sat on the floor thinking, thinking of what he was going to do next.


	14. Chapter 14

Once Jeff returned to Dixie's room Tamzin was still there, but Dixie had returned to sleeping she could never stay awake for long.

"Thanks Tamzin"

"That's ok, best be off" She moved back from Dixie, to allow Jeff where she was standing.

"Yeah, say hello to little abs for me"

"Always do, see you Jeff" She smiled and left back to work, While Jeff took his seat again next to Dixie, ignoring the empty feeling in his stomach. He already felt the waist band on his jeans becoming loser by the day; he was going to enjoy every inch he put back on.

Over the next few days, Dixie stayed awake longer and longer until she could stay awake all day without feeling tired and needing to sleep. It had been a month of being in hospital, finally he could take her home but she was still on a lot of pain meds.

Jeff helped her out the hospital as Dixie needed his support to walk, without it she would tumble to the ground this is why he had a tight grip around her waist and her head was buried in his chest. When they got home he placed Dixie on the sofa, before going into the kitchen and bringing out some drinks.

"Here you go princess"

"Thanks mate, you look slimmer" She exclaimed noticing his stomach was flatter than before, then taking a grateful gulp of the coffee Jeff had made her.

"That's your fault, and I am going to enjoy putting it all back on" He placed a kiss on her cheek, then opening his rightfully earned bag or Dorito's.

"Give us one"

"These are mine get your own" He pulled the bag closer, than gave in as Dixie gave him her puppy eyes he handed over the bag and she took out a handful holding as much as she could.

"Easy Dix, I want some too" He snatched it back, finishing off the packet and having Dixie's feet resting on his lap.

"When are we going back to work?" Dixie asked, she was going to get bored having to stay indoors all day with nothing to do, she had her hand on little abs head who had not moved from Dixie's side as she petted him.

"Hang on, you can barely walk five steps." Jeff knew she was going to be stubborn and want to go back as soon as possible, but he wasn't going to let her rush into things.

"But…"

"Let's not try and run before you can walk" He said, fiddling with her toes making her give a little giggle.

"Have you heard anything from the trust?" I paused it was only this morning I had the phone call, they preferred Mick as boss, rather than Dixie. They said he handled the budgets better, that he had put something new on the table. I didn't know how I would explain this to her, that she had been attacked and that the trust replaced her while she was in intensive care fighting for her life.

"Yeah"

"And?"

"I'm so sorry Dix" I could see her eyes fill up, this job meant a lot to her. She would still be working as a paramedic but she wasn't her own boss anymore and had no choice over the rota's or anything.

Dixie sat looking at Jeff she knew that Mick had taken her job from her, she wiped her eyes trying not to cry but it wasn't much good. He was now her boss, she didn't know how he was going to treat her but surely he wouldn't do what he did again? She really wanted to tell Jeff, but she was too scared as to what he would think.

"It's not your fault"

"I should have tried harder"

"Jeff you did everything you could have sweetheart, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here" She moved herself into Jeff's arms, resting her head on his chest as he held her tight. She wasn't going to blame Jeff for losing her job; she should have tried harder when she had it and not taken it for granted.

When she was in hospital, Jeff explained how he found her. Dixie looked at her phone seeing the text Mick had sent him; she did this when he was asleep. She would never leave Jeff, let alone say goodbye to him by text, but she was going to have to pretend that is what she did.

"Can you remember anything Dixie?" This was something Jeff often asked, he wanted to know if Dixie remembered anything flashbacks or any names mentioned, but she didn't or at least this is what she told him.

"No, after my wrist everything went black" Dixie said, she memorised her lie. She told him that she got lost, there was a group of young men who looked like they were doing drugs and they saw her watching then attacked her. He believed the story still completely unaware of what happened, he noticed Dixie was asleep so he sat there stroking her hair. He then decided to wake her up to take her upstairs, she couldn't sleep on the sofa as much as he didn't want to disturb her it was for the best.

"Dixie, wake up princess" He whispered softly in her ear, watching her wake up taking in the surroundings.

"Hello Jeffrey"

"Come on let's get you to bed" He sat her up, noticing her wince a little holding her ribs.

"Do you want some more pain killers?" He asked worried, not wanting her to be in pain. She nodded weakly still looking half asleep, once he gave her the pills he helped her up the stairs. He left the room as she got changed in her pyjamas, and waited outside once it had been a few minutes he knocked on the door.

"Dix can I come in?"

"Yeah" He heard her reply, going in the room and finding her under the quilt. He went opposite her, sitting on the floor beside her; too stroke her hair comfortingly to help her sleep.

"What are you doing down there you daft baboon, get in" She pulled back the duvet indicating for him to get in beside her.

"You sure?" He asked, they normally slept in the same bed, but after what happened he wasn't sure how she would react once she was better.

"Of course I'm sure hurry up, it's getting cold" She mumbled with her eyelids shut. Jeff got in beside her, not expecting her to do what she did. She turned herself so she was lying on his chest, not moving Jeff smiled and put his arms around her. He soon fell asleep to; when he awoke they were still in the same position. It wasn't long before Dixie woke up,

"Hey sleepy" Jeff moved his thumb under her eye to wipe away her sleepy dust.

"Do you want some Coffee princess?"

"Yes please Jeffrey" Jeff kissed her forehead then left for downstairs, putting on the kettle then letting out little abs who was standing by the back door. Once making the coffee he rushed back upstairs, he knew Dixie would be ok but he didn't want to leave her for long. He grabbed her tablets from the side and let in Abs, before going up the stairs and into their room.

"Here you go"

"Thanks mate" She took her pills then her coffee.

The next month was like this, Dixie getting better every day. Each day she became stronger, but still relied on Jeff for little things, she enjoyed him cooking her meals. Jeff enjoyed it also feeling happy his Dixie was still alive for him to be cooking for her, as long as she was ok he was willing to do anything for her. He brought her lots of chocolate, even though she complained it would make her fat she still enjoyed eating it and maybe shared a square or two with him.

He never left her, and when they went out he held her hand tight and didn't let her out of his sight. Dixie had to repeat her lie to him a lot of times, he wanted her to go to the police but for obvious reasons she couldn't. It had been two months since Mick attacked her, and she was finally allowed to go back to work by Jeff. She was excited but scared at the same time, the trust had completely given Mick the job, he was no longer temporary he had replaced her but she was grateful she was still a paramedic at Holby.

Jeff was scared about her going back, and already arranged it where she was working with him, this way he could keep a close eye on her, making sure she wasn't straining herself.

When they got there they went to their lockers,

"Tell me if you get too tired please Dix" Jeff pleaded not wanting her pushing herself to hard,

"Yes Jeffrey"

"Dixie can I have a word in my office please" This voice made her spine shiver, she turned Mick was behind her. She felt Jeff's hand go on her shoulder,

"I will wait for you in the ambulance princess" With that he left, and Dixie reluctantly followed him to her old office. She was to petrified to speak, she just stood in the doorway. The office was different, cold and unfriendly.

"Sit down Kathleen" He shut the door behind her, and she went to the seat sitting in it. She hated it when people called her Kathleen but she wasn't going to argue.

"What am I going to do with you then?" A smirk plastered on his face, as he sat opposite swinging himself slightly from side to side.


	15. Chapter 15

Dixie sat scared and frightened; it was obvious in her features.

"Have you told him?"

"No" She replied slowly, as he picked up a pencil from the desk.

"Good, because if you do. Let's just say you won't be saying anything else" He snapped the pencil he was holding, making Dixie jump in her chair. Mick laughed, knowing he had complete power over her.

"You're a slag, it's disgusting." He spat, Dixie was too scared to say anything not wanting to aggravate him.

"You deserved everything and more. Now go and start your shift" He said coldly, as Dixie rushed out. She thought about what he said as she went to the ambulance, maybe she did deserve it. She got into the ambulance where Jeff was waiting, plastering a fake smile over her face.

"What did Mick want?"

"Just to wish me luck on first day back, come on then Jeffrey" She encouraged, he wasn't letting her drive which was annoying as this is something she enjoyed doing, but it was probably for the best as her wrist was still recovering from the break.

It felt good to her to be back at work, but it was hard to maintain a sense of composure in front of Jeff when she wanted to break down in tears from fear, but she knew as long as Jeff was with her she would be safe. They finished their shift on a high, until Mick called to her again.

"Dixie I need to speak to you in my office if you wouldn't mind" Dixie froze, Jeff hugged her then whispered in her ear.

"Wait for you in the car princess" She smiled at him, then he left and she returned to Mick in his office. He shut the door again behind her, everything turned silent except the harsh beating from her heart. He pointed to the seat indicating for her to sit; she obeyed waiting for him to speak.

"I have been having a think, and I think it is best if you work tomorrow's shift with me"

"I'm paired with Jeff"

"Not anymore," He handed her the new rotas, he paired Jeff with Tamzin and her with him for the next day's six hour shift.

"Why? What have I ever done to you?"

"Let's just say I'm fixing what needs to be fixed" He took the sheet from her, as she then looked to the ground. She didn't want to work with him, she wanted to be with anyone but him and that included Norman.

"If not, I can always work a shift with the lovely Tamzin?" He suggested, Dixie stopped she couldn't let him work with Tamzin she didn't know what he was willing to do to her, they already lost Polly in a tragic way; she didn't want Tamzin getting hurt either.

"No" Dixie replied rather defensively, she didn't want him hurting any of her friends to get at her.

"Good, I will look forward to working with you. It will be a shift you never forget" He said smirking at Dixie who was leaning back in the chair hoping it would swallow her whole.

"Now get out of my sight" He spoke harshly, Dixie left the room as fast as she could. Going to the car knowing that's where Jeff would be. She wiped her tears of fear away, so Jeff couldn't see how she was really feeling.

"You ok Dix?" Jeff sensed she wasn't herself as she got in next to him.

"Yes, of course, just been a long day. Come on then" She waved her hands about, waiting for him to start driving them home. They arrived home, where little abs greeted them running up and wagging his tail.

"Oh great, thanks Abs" Jeff held up the newspaper he had brought in the morning, that was now torn to pieces. Abs just looked up at him innocently, as Dixie petted him chuckling.

"Good dog, did you get all the sports pages like I told you too?" She continued to speak softly, stroking Abs behind the ear. Avoiding thinking of the next day, she didn't know what she was more scared of working with him or Jeff finding out the truth.

An hour later they were sat together in front of the telly, in each other's embrace feeling the others warmth. Dixie felt safe with Jeff, but tomorrow she wasn't going to be with him.

"You sure you're feeling ok Dixie? Jeff was concerned as Dixie had been very quiet lost in her own thoughts.

"Just a little tired"

"Let's get you to bed then come on princess" He helped her to her feet, going up the stairs and into their room. Dixie and Jeff got changed together, neither of them minded. Then jumping into the warmth of the covers, and eventually next to each other. Jeff held her tight, not quite sure as to what was eating away at Dixie. He watched her sleeping trying to figure out what was wrong, but he didn't have a clue so went to sleep hoping in the morning he would have a clear head to help him think.

When Dixie woke, Jeff was still sleeping so she wriggled out of his arms, trying not to wake him then went to have a shower. When she came out he was still asleep, in the middle of the bed arms stretched out matching his legs making him look like a starfish, Dixie smiled at the image then got dressed and downstairs to make Coffee. She was scared about the day to come, not sure as to what it would hold but she was sure it wasn't good, but if she didn't work with him he was going to work with Tamzin and she wasn't sure what he would do to her.

Jeff came down the stairs, to find Dixie on the sofa sipping her coffee.

"You sure you are ok"

"Yes Jeffrey, stop fussing"

"Stop fussing, if it hasn't escaped your notice I'm now grey worrying over you" He exclaimed pointing to his lighter shade of little hair he had.

"You need to have hair to be grey Jeffrey" She giggled, as he looked hurt.

"Well I had plenty of hair before you came along"

"What are you on about, I think you will find you are the one who came here" She remembered when they first met, she didn't like him she thought he was an arrogant sod and she was right. She also didn't like the way he referred to her as princess, but she had gotten used to it and found it rather comforting at times and now was one of those times.

When they got to work, Jeff found Tamzin he didn't want to leave Dixie but the rotas didn't give him much choice. Once again Dixie found herself with him in the ambulance, he said he wanted to drive and she wasn't going to argue. She was in the back of the ambulance sorting things out when he came in behind her shutting the ambulance door. She stood there feet frozen to the floor of the ambulance.

"I have been thinking, if you want to know what it is like to be straight. I think it is only right I help you" Dixie started breathing rapidly, as he pushed himself against her a hand over her mouth so nobody could hear her cries. She wasn't sure what he was going to do, but she had an idea but surely he wouldn't do that? She felt numb as his other hand started exploring places it shouldn't, she begged him to stop but he laughed as his hand continued exploring. He started to unbutton his top, taking her hand and making it feel his chest. Dixie's spine shivered, as her skin touched put his hand under her top, continuing to explore, before he could do anything else, the radio interrupted them.

"Holby control to 3007, Possible building collapse unknown amount of casualties, are you able to attend?" Mick picked up the radio as Dixie was numb from fear,

"Shame, I was looking forward to that. It will have to wait until after" He said sickly, buttoning up his shirt. When they arrived at the scene it was an old building, they were the first ambulance Dixie sat thinking about what had happened feeling Sick as she could still feel him on her. She shivered at the feeling, grabbing the medical kit and running towards the building. There seemed to be a lot of smoke and dust, making her chest tighten. The building was obviously unstable but seemed to be holding together at the moment, she felt somebody push her to the ground from behind. She was instantly gasping for breath, she pulled out her inhaler but it was snatched away by Mick. She started wheezing, feeling dizzy.

Mick pulled out the only other person in there, leaving Dixie to wheeze and struggle for air. He left the building, Dixie unable to move or do anything accept gasp for air.

Once Mick left he got to work on the person he found in there. When another ambulance arrived, Tamzin and Jeff hopped out and went towards him.

"What are you doing here?" Mick asked, no other ambulance was told to attend.

"Control sent us, they didn't know if you were coming" Tamzin replied softly, while Jeff looked around wondering where Dixie was.

"Where's Dixie?" Jeff asked, still looking around for her. Unaware she was in the building that was near collapsing on the brink of having an asthma attack.

"I took her home, she wasn't feeling too good" Mick smiled feeling smart about making up the lie so fast.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the shorter chapter, hope you don't mind xxx**

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"Holby control to 3006, can you respond to a young male possible head injury?" Tamzin picked up the radio responding, while Jeff looked around.

"Come on then Jeff" Tamzin said, nudging Jeff who was still looking around then to Mick who was on the floor next to the man.

"Yeah coming" He reluctantly left into the ambulance for the next call, Mick waited until the sirens faded away before going back into the building, pulling Dixie out.

She continued to wheeze, not feeling the effects of being outside yet. Unable to say anything from her lack of breathe, she was frightened but thankful she was out all the same. Mick smiled at Dixie, knowing he made this happen, her lips started turning blue as she slowly started choking to death.

He dropped her inhaler next to her, then went towards the patient; Dixie took some puffs, starting to feel the tightening in her chest getting easier. Mick started laughing at Dixie, in an evil manner. Dixie got to her feet still shaking, and stumbling back a little she went slowly towards him and the patient, trying to remain a sense of composure and be as professional as she could. The fire services came, one of them was looking rather concerned at Dixie, who's lips were still not their normal colour.

She helped Mick load the man into the ambulance, trying to avoid his evil glance. She sat in the back of the ambulance with the patient will Mick drove to the ED. When they got there she waited in the ambulance as instructed by Mick, it was only a few short moments until he came back in.

"Come with me" He took hold of Dixie by the arm, if anybody saw they would think he was holding her hand, but the way he was holding it made Dixie's wrist hurt.

He pushed her in his office, locking the door Dixie looked around hopelessly for a way of escape but there was nothing. She shook from fear, unaware of what he had planned but from the sly look on his face she guessed it was something.

"What do you want from me?" She questioned, trying to figure out what she had done to deserve all of this.

"I want you to see yourself for the cow you really are!" He spat back venomously,

"Shame a shout interrupted our session earlier isn't it? Dixie froze, she remembered what he made her do, she could still feel his skin on hers not a single spot of her that he forgot to feel. Dixie felt sick, hoping he wasn't going to do anything like that to her again.

"Why did you pull me out?" She questioned, not sure as to why he pulled her out when he had tried so hard to injure her.

"Because I have something else planned" He replied smartly, knowing he was extremely calculated, going towards his draws. Pulling out something, which made him have complete power over Dixie, and anybody else who tried to enter the now locked room. Dixie's eyes followed Mick as he went over to the draw, pulling something out which made her whole body shake with fear.

"Now you are going to do as I say, agreed?" Dixie nodded her head, watching the object in his hand with great caution.

Meanwhile Jeff and Tamzin were talking in the ambulance about what had happened.

"What do you think of Mick?" Jeff questioned to Tamzin, wanting to know what she thought of their boss.

"His alright I suppose, bit strange at times"

"Strange?" Jeff wanted to know what Tamzin mean't by strange.

"Well yeah, he won't let us have input on the rotas. Or let us go into his office, not even to ask him questions. Why?" She looked to Jeff, unsure of what he was thinking.

"Dunno…" Jeff ran his hand over his head thinking.

"If Dixie isn't well, I should go back home and look after her."

"Good luck with that, Mick never lets us go off shift" Tamzin commented, while Jeff pulled out his phone calling Dixie, to find out if she was any better. If he didn't like the sound of how she felt he didn't care what Mick said, he would go home to look after his Dixie.

Dixie felt her phone ringing, Mick came closer to her making her cry from fear. Then he whispered in her ear,

"Answer it, and tell him exactly what I tell you to say" Dixie shook with fear, as the object he was holding touched her stomach. She answered the phone, trying to sound normal.

"Hi princess, how are you feeling?" The sound of Jeff's voice was comforting.

"Good, I'm fine Jeff" She tried to remain a sense of composure, trying to ignore the gun pressed to her stomach with his finger placed on the trigger.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry again for another short chapter xxx**

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"Dixie what's the matter?" Jeff asked worried, she didn't sound at all ok. Dixie felt the gun push deeper towards her stomach, scared for her own safety.

"Nothing mate I'm fine" She began to cry, feeling scared hearing Jeff's voice over the phone made things worse.

"Dixie don't lie, tell me. Are you crying?" He asked, hearing some muffled noises from the other end of the phone.

"No, and I'm fine Jeff" She held in her tears trying to remain hole, but she was on the verge of emotionally breaking down, it didn't help with the gun moving upwards to her neck making her spine crawl.

"No you're not princess, you haven't been fine in ages." Jeff knew something was eating away at her but he didn't know what, all he knew is he wanted his old Dixie back.

"I have" She tried to protest, but Jeff knew her to well.

"Dixie you go to sleep crying, and you are crying now" He stated, knowing she was crying from the shakiness of her voice, and continuous muffled sounds.

"I'm not Jeff"

"Yes you are, look I need to go back to the ambulance bay to get my things, then I'm coming home to look after you" Jeff knew something was up, Mick said he took her home as she didn't feel well.

"You don't have too" Dixie said, knowing she wasn't at home and it would be a wasted journey, but she couldn't do anything with the gun resting on her neck.

"Yes I do, I love you"

"Love you too Jeff" Mick took the phone off her, this is when she broke down. She wanted Jeff here with her, and wanted to be far away from Mick as possible.

"Very good," Mick placed her phone in the draw, still keeping the gun pointed at Dixie he then pulled down the office blinds, and then made sure the door was defiantly locked.

"So how was your last conversation with your husband?" Mick asked slyly, making Dixie quiver and fall to the ground hugging her knees. She didn't know what was going to happen, all the time the gun remained in her direction.

"I asked you a question" he snapped, moving closer to her.

"What am I supposed to say?" Dixie was confused; she wasn't going to express her feelings or fear and regret. She regretted all the times her and Jeff fought, and argued even though she knew he often caused the conflict. She remembered all the horrid things she said to Jeff, even the things she said in the heat of an argument. She felt more tears fall, knowing she may never hear his voice again.

"Guess you're right," He chuckled before speaking again.

"Don't worry, I will make sure he never finds your body" Dixie continued shaking with fear, she knew from this sentence his intention was killing her. She knew Jeff wouldn't cope, she just hoped if he did kill her Tamzin would help Jeff through.

Jeff was worried about Dixie, she didn't sound like she normally did. He drove himself and Tamzin back, starting to talk to her as he drove.

"I'm really worried about Dixie" He admitted driving a little faster.

"Why?" Tamzin asked, seeing the obvious worry on his features.

"She hasn't been right for weeks" Jeff said feeling annoyed he hadn't found out what was wrong earlier, as now she was crying on her own without him.

"She will be fine Jeff"

"hmm" Jeff wasn't too convinced, he knew Dixie would be fine when she was in his arms safe. He didn't want her doing anything stupid, or anything happening as that would tear him apart.

"Jeff snap out of it" Tamzin was worried, as he was in deep thoughts and driving the last thing Dixie would need is him crashing the ambulance, although she thought it would be funny to see how Mick would react to doing the paper work, he didn't react to well about paper work, he was a lot worse than Dixie why the trust gave him the job instead of Dixie she didn't know.

Meanwhile Dixie was still sat on the floor, with the gun pointed at her.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You were always the popular one, always the number one." Dixie sat thinking, was this all because of her having more people she could count on than him?

"Most importantly, you are a lesbian living with a man, in a relationship with a man. By me doing this, I am setting Jeff free you should be proud" Mick was sick to the head, Dixie knew it was an open marriage, Jeff could have a girlfriend and she would think nothing of it as long as she and him remained best friends she didn't care what he got up to in his spare time.

"Is this all because of my sexuality?" She asked, feeling annoyed and distraught at what he was doing. But the raise in her voice was something she shouldn't have done, as his face started to feel with rage.

"SHUT UP SLAG!" Dixie obeyed, curling her lips into her mouth. She shook even more, knowing that he was getting angrier by the second. He picked her up, pushing himself against her on the wall, the gun pressing again on her stomach.

Jeff pulled the ambulance into the ambulance bay, getting out and hearing some shouting. Then a loud bang echoed through the bay, the sound of a gun being shot.


	18. Chapter 18

"What the bloody hell was that?" Tamzin gasped, holding her chest as the sudden loud noise made her jump.

"I dunno, but it came from over here" Jeff rushed off to the direction of where the noise came from, he had no clue as to what it was, but he didn't know what to expect. He found nothing, but decided to go to the office, to see if Mick had heard anything but as he pushed the handle down it was locked.

"Hello, hello is anyone in there?" Mick immediately hid the gun back in the draw, then walking into the corner of the table with force, making him fall to the ground clutching his stomach in pain. Just as Jeff barged his way in, Dixie was stood still in shook as what happened, the gun was shot but it hit the wall narrowly avoiding her stomach. Jeff looked at her, then to Mick who was on the floor, and she realised how it must of looked she was standing over him as he was lying on the floor in agony after walking into the table deliberately.

Jeff looked, not sure what to think. He went over to Mick who was lying on the ground, who then spoke in a groan.

"It was Dixie, she hit me" He gasped, Jeff looked to Dixie in disbelieve.

"Princess?" Jeff asked Dixie, while taking Mick's pulse.

"I…I.." Dixie was speechless still shaken up, Jeff frowned at her he knew something was wrong but he wasn't expecting her to lash out on her boss. He gathered from the lack of answer she had, what Mick said was true.

"Go home Dix" Jeff tried to hide his anger, all the evidence pointed to Dixie. Dixie left, when she did breaking down into tears, Jeff believed the lie she now knew why Mick walked into the corner of the table. She decided to walk home, she needed the fresh air, Jeff didn't even ask her if she was ok he just jumped to conclusions like he usually did.

Meanwhile Jeff was helping Mick stand up.

"You should really see a doctor" Jeff was concerned as he helped Mick to the chair on his desk.

"No, I'm fine"

"What happened?" Jeff was confused as to what had happened.

"I don't know; she was angry at me taking the job. Saying I wasn't doing it properly, then she just lashed out" Jeff knew this was out of the ordinary for Dixie, she would never do something like this, would she?

"Are you ok?" Jeff asked, as Mick groaned putting his hand to his stomach, Jeff already felt bad for hitting him the least he could do now was, help Mick.

"Yeah, I will be fine." He stood up, lifting his top to show his stomach was now bruising. Jeff saw, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat,

"And Dixie did that?" He pointed to Mick's stomach, the evidence of Dixie's anger was there very obviously.

"It doesn't matter, guess she just needed to let her anger out."

"Are you going to report her?"

"No," Jeff bit his lip, he couldn't believe Dixie would do such a thing.

"Look I really think you should get looked at" Jeff went over, trying to convince him to be seen by a doctor but it was no good, Mick refused.

"I'm fine, don't suppose you could give me a lift home though?"

"Of course" Jeff helped him to his feet, and into the car park. Dixie didn't take the car, so he could take Mick home it was the least he could do after what Dixie did. He helped Mick into the car feeling the harsh wind blow, and drove him home. He pulled outside Micks home,

"Want to come in for a brew?" Mick asked, Jeff considered and thought it was a good idea.

"Why not?" He got out of the car, following Mick into his home. They headed into the kitchen and Mick put the kettle on,

"Did Dixie really do that?"

"Yes, I have been wanting to tell you for ages" Mick, said acting surprised as he said what he did, but he had it all planned what he was going to say.

"Ages?"

"Yeah, she has never liked me. Maybe she was jealous, I don't know" Mick pulled out the mugs, turning his back from Jeff so he couldn't see the smirk plastering his face. Jeff felt a tear fall from his eye, this wasn't the Dixie he knew.

"Jealous?"

"Maybe she doesn't like me and you being close?" Jeff considered Micks theory, and thought to himself he could be right. All this started, around the time Mick arrived.

"I think you should be going back to her Jeff, she was really shaken up"

"Let her be shaken up, stupid cow" Jeff muttered unable to contain his anger towards Dixie, he didn't care if she was shaken up.

"How about we go out for a pint?" Mick suggested, Jeff agreed two hours later he was staggering back home after continuously drinking Stella, mainly to annoy Dixie as she hated him drinking Stella she said it made him aggressive. He found Dixie on the sofa hugging her legs. She couldn't understand why Jeff, had believed him, she knew it must have looked bad but surely he knew she wouldn't be able to do something like that? As she looked behind her she could see he was drunk, he scowled at her. She was still shaken up from the gun incident,

"WHAT IS WITH YOU DIXIE?" Jeff shouted making her jump, she didn't reply and let Jeff continue shouting at her.

"WHY DID YOU HIT HIM? WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU? HE IS A KIND MAN, AND I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU. YOU HAVE CHANGED DIX, AND I DON'T LIKE THE NEW YOU!" Dixie could feel tears streaming down her face, everyone seemed to be against her.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE YOU WERE MEANT TO WALK INTO THAT DRUG DEAL. MAYBE IT HAPPENED BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR TIME TO GO" Dixie was shocked, and hurt as to what he just said; he had just wished her dead, and from the look he had in his eyes she knew he meant it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes did on my iPod x**

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Dixie sat taking in what Jeff was saying, but he still hadn't finished, he slammed the front door making her jump. Then stormed over to where she was sat, Dixie could smell the strong scent of alchole on him, one drink in particular Stella. Dixie never allowed Jeff to drink Stella, because it always effected him he became aggressive.

"YOU ARE SUCH AN ATTENTION SEEKING COW! NOT TO MENTION WORTHLESS!ARE YOU JELOUS OF HIM?"

"ME JELOUS OF HIM?"

"YES YOU JELOUS OF HIM, YOU HIT HIM!"

"OTHER WAY AROUND MORE LIKE!"

"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE HIT FINE!" Dixie stood up to get away from Jeff shouting, but as she did felt a burning hot sensation on her cheek, the force knocking her to the floor, she put her hand on her cheek as she lay on the floor looking up to Jeff, had he really just done that?

She felt absolute fear, he had never done anything like that before Jeff didn't even look apologetic, he just left her going up the stairs she heard the door slam from upstairs. Her whole body shaking with fear, Jeff had never done anything like this before and she was scared.

She know knew there was no point in telling Jeff as he wouldn't belive her anyway. She sat on the floor crying, nobody was left to comfort her, she was now alone. She sat up, feeling her burning hot cheek, then removed her wedding ring placing it on the table. Passing the mirror one side of her face was red, the other deathly pale. It was too much, she couldn't cope anymore. She went into her room, going across the landing she could see Jeff sprawled on his bed, she crept to her own room not wanting to wake him as she was scared of what he would do.

Going in her room, Dixie shut the door behind her quietly, then began to cry into her pillows. Normally she could go to Jeff for comfort and support, but she couldn't this time seeing as he was part ohere reason she felt so alone, everything was good until Mick came back, he had taken everything from her and now he had taken away her most precious thing Jeff...

She cried all night, not sleeping so felt weak in the morning, when the sunlight came in she went downstairs, Jeff was still asleep. She didn't know if he would regret what he did, but she was sure he wouldn't, Mick had turned him against her much to the point he hit her last night. She had nobody, nobody who cared anymore not if she lived or died so what was the point in living? Jeff already wished her dead, then hit her the same evening he obviously meant it.

Leaving the ring on the side, she then left the house taking nothing with her not sure of where she was going or what she was going to do. Walking up the path she thought of all the ways she could get out of this, she only had one way, so she started her way to the ED.

Jeff awoke with a throbbing head ache, not remembering anything from the previous night, he sat up and left his room opening Dixie's door a little. When he did, he saw a neatly made bed, but no Dixie. He came to the conclusion she was downstairs, but when he went down the stairs she was nowhere to be found.

"DIXIE?" he got no answer then noticed the time, Dixie must have gone into work, but why didn't she wake him? He was going to be late now.

When he finnally got to the ambulance bay, he couldn't see Dixie. But he did see Mick, smiling in his direction.

"You alright Jeff?"

"Yeah have you seen Dixie?"

"Half an hour ago, mouthing off about you mainly" Mick lied stirring trouble or every oppurtunity he got. Jeff was silent trying to remember what had happened before, Mick spoke up again.

"She doesn't deserve you Jeff, you need to get yourself out there, take some distance from Dixie at the moment" Mick suggested cunninly.

"Maybe your right about the space" Jeff gave in, maybe it was best if he moved himself away from Dixie for a while.

"Shouldn't you go and find her?"

"No, sodding cow, at the moment I couldn't care less" Jeff spat feeling annoyed that Dixie had been slagging him off, unaware that it was total lies Mick hadn't even seen Dixie this morning. Mick struggled to hide his growing smile, he struggled doing this throughout the day as Jeff continued to rant about Dixie, saying how he was going to divorce her and try to break down their relationship, he often apologised to Mick about what he thought Dixie was doing to him.

Meanwhile Dixie was on her own, gathering everything she needed. But she needed to do one thing first, pushing open the gate to the graveyard, she went over to her dads grave.

"Hi dad, I don't know what I'm doing here.I'm sorry for everything mean and cruel I did to you" Dixie was trying to remain composure but it was hard, she continued talking to her dad, ignoring the rain that was hammering down, she then said goodbye before heading towards the middle of nowhere where she belonged. There was nobody who wanted her, she used to have Jeff but he now thought she was an attention seeking worthless cow who should have died. She would have done anything for Jeff, and if he wanted her dead, then that's what she was going to do. She opened her bag that was on the wet grass next to her, looking at the packets of paracetomal and bottle of vodka.


	20. Chapter 20

Dixie sat, looking at the packets of Paracetamol numerous packets that had been brought from several different pharmacy's. She already said goodbye to her friends in the ED, she went in and joked around, then said she had to leave. She pulled out a piece of paper, and a pen writing her goodbye to Jeff, she didn't know if he would believe what she wrote, but she had to hope. Once writing it, she read it checking that it said everything she wanted Jeff to know. Once satisfied with what she put, she folded it putting it an envelope she brought and addressing it to Jeff then placing it in her pocket. Returning her glance to her purchased items, she unscrewed the bottle of vodka, and popped out the first packet of Paracetamol. She combined the two things together, starting to feel drowsy and dizzy, she laid on her back looking at the clear night sky. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw a different happy memory of her and Jeff, until she ran out then it turned to the bad ones, each argument they had, each vile thing they said to one another then last night. She couldn't understand why Mick had to take everything from her, why he couldn't just leave her be. Dixie eventually closed her eyes, hoping the feeling of being alone would be over.

Whilst Jeff and Mick were in the ambulance bay, getting ready to go to the pub, they were standing by Jeff's locker talking, as Tamzin came up behind them both.

"Jeff, I don't suppose you have seen Dixie?" She asked, as she hadn't seen Dixie all day.

"Nope, and I don't want to"

"Why, what's happened"

"She just isn't the Dixie I want to know anymore. So I am not concerned as to where she is or with who" Jeff spat back, getting angry any time somebody even mentioned her name.

"Jeff you cannot be serious" Tamzin was shocked as to what Jeff just said, and didn't know why he wasn't concerned about Dixie.

"Deadly" Jeff replied, while leaving Tamzin and leaving with Mick to go to the pub.

"How was Dixie last night then?" Mick asked, as they began the walk to the pub.

"You know what; I don't remember a thing from last night" Jeff couldn't remember shouting at Dixie, the hurtful things he said that had drove, Dixie over the edge, he couldn't remember hitting her leaving her on the floor feeling frightened and scared.

"You know what, tonight we are going to go out, and find you a decent woman" Mick smiled at Jeff, hoping he would agree to the idea, he wanted Dixie to feel as alone and isolated as he could make her, he was unaware he had already succeeded.

"Sounds like a plan to me" Jeff replied, as they entered the pub. Scanning the room, for what Mick classed as a decent woman, being the exact opposite of Dixie.

A young mother had her two children out for their, country walk.

"Holly don't go where I can't see you!" The woman called, after her 4 year old, who was running around with her brother happily. It was the weekend, and her children were getting restless so she decided to let them burn off their energy in the field, it was dark and they all had torches so they could see where they were going.

"Mummy, Joshua said a naughty word" The little girl giggled, as her brother continued saying words their mother considered as naughty.

"Joshua, what have I said about…" The woman stopped, as she saw something in the distance, she flashed her torch over to where she was looking, seeing another woman lying on the floor, she dropped her bag on the floor and ran over.

"Holly, remember what I said about when there is an emergency call 999, I want you to call 999 and ask for an ambulance" The woman called, as she watched her eldest child go through her hand bag, looking for her mother's phone, her and her brother ran over to where their mother was.

"Mummy, he wants to know your name" The little girl, only called her mother mummy, unaware of what her real name was.

"Tell them it's Emma, hang on give it here" Emma was worried about what her child, would say and if she called the right number, which she thankfully did. Emma then noticed an empty bottle of Vodka, and empty packets of tablets,

"Oh god…" She muttered, knowing that whoever this person was, had tried to kill themself. She didn't have to wait long for an ambulance, she saw two people rushing over.

"Hello my name is Tamzin, can you tell me what…" She was interrupted by Norman.

"Tamzin"

"Norman I'm talking" She snapped, Norman was already doing her head in with all his statistics, there was no need for him being rude.

"Tamzin it's Dixie" Tamzin stopped, and took a close look at the woman on the floor it was indeed Dixie.

"You know her?"

"Yeah, I do" Tamzin rubbed away her tears, so she could concentrate on helping Dixie. She then noticed the bottle of Vodka, and empty packets of pills.

"Dixie can you hear me?" She questioned, she got no response making her worry, as Dixie's pulse was already weak.

"I'm sorry, but can I take my children home?" Emma asked, not wanting to be in the way.

"Yes of course" With that, the woman left a little shocked, but thankful she decided to take her children for a late night walk, as if she didn't she was sure that the woman she found would still be lying there for days to come.

Tamzin and Norman loaded Dixie into the ambulance, Tamzin gathered the boxes and bottle, trying to figure out how many pills Dixie took. In the ambulance, she could see something sticking out of Dixie's pocket, she took it out and it was addressed to Jeff after putting it with the boxes and bottle, she got to work on Dixie. Inserting in an IV, and making sure she was still breathing, but her pulse was getting weaker and weaker. When they pulled up outside the ED, Tamzin and Norman wheeled Dixie into resus, getting a lot of gasps and people in tears as Tamzin explained what was wrong.

"Dixie Collier, 38 overdose found with empty packets of Paracetomal, and an empty bottle of vodka." She stopped there, as Norman explained her medical report, of having a low BP and pulse, slowly dying.

"Right on 3, 1..2…3…" They all moved Dixie onto a bed, and Zoe got to work on Dixie.

"Dixie, Dixie love can you hear me?" No response, Tamzin left the ED still holding the bag of things Dixie had with her, she went over to Noel who was at reception.

"Noel, Jeff where is he?" She spoke through complete anger, making Noel flinch.

"He has gone to the pub, with Mick" Tamzin scowled, moving herself around the desk to pick up the phone, slamming in Jeff's number on the key pad. It took him a while to answer, Tamzin didn't even allow him time to speak,

"Jeffrey Collier, you are an utter disgrace, now you get your arse down to the ED now."

"Tam…" She didn't hear what he had to say, so slammed the phone down and went to wait in the staffroom, looking at Dixie through the windows in resus who looked so helpless. She stood then and got a tap on the shoulder, she turned seeing Jeff there she glared at him.

"Tamzin what the hell was that for?"

"Are you still not concerned about Dixie?"

"No, I'm not, she is a selfish attention seeking cow, and I quiet happily expressed that to her last night" He spat back, Tamzin dragged him into the staff room shutting the door behind them.

"You told her that?!" Tamzin asked in disbelief.

"Yes I bloody well did, if she wants to go around acting like that, then the least she can expect is people calling her that" Jeff could remember calling Dixie an attention seeking cow, but he couldn't remember shouting it, calling her worthless or hitting her.

"What's that then?" He pointed to the bag that Tamzin was holding containing the empty packets, bottle and the letter.

"This here?" Tamzin turned the bag upside down, letting the bottle smash on the floor and all the packets fall, then she picked up the letter.

"This is what Dixie did!"

"Well obviously she sees herself for what she is" Jeff scowled, folding his arms. He still believed her to be attention seeking, and if she was trying to top herself this only proved his theory.

"She tried to kill herself, doesn't that mean anything to you?" Tamzin questioned, through her gritted teeth.

"No not anymore" Jeff's words shocked her, so much that she didn't know what else to say to him.

"This is addressed to you" Tamzin muttered, flinging him the envelope and leaving him in the room. Jeff looked at it, tearing the envelope open and holding the piece of paper reading in his head what it said.

_My dearest Jeffrey_

_I feel it is time to tell you the truth about what has been happening. I am writing, as I cannot tell you face to face as you probably wouldn't believe me, part of me wonders if you will as you read this, but I am going to remain hopeful. _

_Remember the time I woke up in the middle of the night having a nightmare, it was memories from my childhood. Mick and I met at school, he bullied me because of my sexuality. I ended up in A&E many times having to be treated for broken ribs, where he would continue to kick me. I ended up alone crying, having nobody my mother didn't believe me and threw me out, this is why I haven't told you much about her. It was the worst time of my life, and now history is repeating itself, but it is hurting more this time around._

_You mean everything to me Jeff. You are the most precious thing in my life, and Mick has taken that away from as well, along with the other things he has done since starting here as a paramedic. _

_I didn't walk in on a drug deal, it was Mick who hurt me. I never hit him, he walked in to the corner of the table, after holding me at gunpoint, if you heard a bang, that was the shot narrowly avoiding my stomach. On the same day, he tried to rape me my skin still crawls as there isn't a part of me he failed to touch. He left me in a building that was near collapsing, I don't know if you will believe this but I will hold on to some hope that you will. _

_I have lost you and I cannot go on without you. Last night was clear how much you liked him, and hated me. I could see it in your eyes, as you shouted at me calling me worthless and wished me dead, then hit me. I would do anything for you Jeffrey, absolutely anything. _

_Don't live your life on regret or mourn me. Find yourself that flash bird you always wanted, for when you do I left my wedding ring on the kitchen table, you can sell it and use the money for another one. _

_I love you so much Jeffrey Collier, even if you don't love me. One day you will understand why I did what I have done. _

_Love you for always, _

Y_our princess,  
Your Dixie xxx_

By the time Jeff finished reading, he was in floods of tears looking at the smashed bottle and empty packets scattered across the floor.


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry for the shorter chapter. xx**

* * *

Jeff stood there reading the letter, he couldn't believe what he was reading, the last thing Dixie wrote was an utter lie. She was right, Jeff didn't believe her, or love her and if she didn't make it he wouldn't live his life on regret or mourn. He wasn't crying for feeling sorry for Dixie, but he was crying because he thought she was lying. He picked up the bottle that had been smashed into pieces, and threw the pieces in the bin. Then paid attention to the empty boxes, with the missing pills he put those in the bin also, most of the pills were gone but there was the odd one that she missed, part of him annoyed that she missed them.

The letter was folded and crumpled in his pocket; he couldn't believe Dixie would accuse Mick of trying to rape her, or that it was him who attacked her and where would he get a gun to hold her at gunpoint?

Dixie had no leg to stand on, he walked in with Mick on the floor and Dixie standing over him, maybe she felt guilty and that is why she did what she did. He sat on the sofa, trying to remember what had happened last night, but he couldn't remember a thing.

Dixie was right in her letter, he didn't believe a word of what she wrote, and he was going to go out and find himself a flash bird, now that he didn't have Dixie to worry about. Either-way, he wanted nothing to do with her anymore if she survived he was going to divorce her, if she didn't make it he would go to her funeral, but that would be it. He never thought he would divorce Dixie, but after her lies, after what she did he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Getting up, he decided to leave the ED, and head to the ambulance bay he didn't even look into resus where Dixie was. Wiping away his tears as he went outside, he wasn't crying about Dixie he no longer felt any concern or worry towards her.

He put the letter in his locker, not wanting to read the lies, so locked them away. Going to the kettle he put it on making himself a coffee, he sat whilst drinking. Before he would have been by Dixie's bedside, not wanting to leave her but now he couldn't get enough distance from her. He didn't feel no regret or guilt, Dixie had brought it on herself. Once hearing his stomach rumble, he got up going to the vending machine inserting his money and picking up the crisps that fell. Munching his way through the pack, he decided to read the letter again. Going to his locker, picking the folded letter from the darkest part of his locker, every time he read it he felt the same anger and frustration.

Turning around Tamzin was behind him,

"Why aren't you with Dixie?" she questioned, folding her arms showing she wasn't happy with Jeff.

"Because she is a lying cow" he spat back without hesitation.

"How dare you say that about her"

"Why not it's true" he stated, slaming his locker shut.

"How the hell can you think like that, she is lying in resus completely helpless," Jeff flung the letter at her, and she started to read it. She felt a lump form at the back of her throat, fully reading it until speaking again.

"So why aren't you with her?" She asked, wondering why Jeff was sat in the office binging on coffee and crisps, when he should be with his wife.

"Because Tamzin it's a load of shit" He exclaimed waving the piece of paper about,

"Whether it is or isn't she needs you!"

"Well I don't need her!"

"JEFFREY COLLIER, YOU GET IN RESUS WITH YOUR WIFE NOW!" This was the first time Tamzin shouted at Jeff, but he needed it.

"WHY, SHE IS LYING, IF SHE WANTS TO DIE, LET HER DIE!" Jeff, was fuming he didn't want to be with Dixie, he wanted to be as far away from her as possible.

"WHY WOULD SHE LIE, ABOUT THAT?!"

"BECAUSE, SHE IS A STUPID, JELOUS WOMAN!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Tamzin couldn't understand why Jeff didn't believe Dixie, he had known her for so long, and had only known Mick for a few months.

"WRONG WITH ME? SHE IS THE ONE WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES!"

"SHE HAS NOT GOT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES! SHE WAS SUFFERING ALONE, AND FELT UNLOVED"

"WELL SHE IS UNLOVED!" Jeff fired back, making Tamzin's jaw drop, She couldn't believe he just said that, she grabbed hold of his arm tightly, and dragged him into the ED, and into resus where Dixie was being shocked, as she had stopped breathing, Tamzin let go off him in a way that he stumbled forwards, towards Dixie's bed. Now they were in resus where they could hear the long beep from the monitors,

"Are you going to tell me, you still don't love her" Tamzin muttered, as they watched on as the people in the ED were trying to bring back Dixie.


	22. Chapter 22

Tamzin, held Jeff from behind forcing him to look at Dixie,

"Look at her Jeff, and tell me you still don't love her" She whispered over the continuous beep, Jeff didn't reply just watched on, he didn't want to look but Tamzin was forcing him to, keeping him in position with a tight lock on both of his arms.

For Jeff time was slowing down, everything moving into slow motion as Dixie was shocked again. He shivered as he watched her body react to the shock, then as Sam pressed down onto her chest giving her compressions. Jeff could feel tears falling from his eyes at a rapid pace, he tried to look away but Tamzin kept a tight grip on him,

"No Jeff, I want you to look and tell me how you feel. Is she still a stupid woman, who is unloved?"

"So do you still not care? Do you still not care if she lives or dies?" She continued, to Jeff it was torture watching as Dixie was shocked for a 3rd time, she looked so pale and weak. Everything was still going in slow motion, right up to the point they stop working on Dixie and the whole room turned to Jeff, all of them had heard what Tamzin was saying to him, and all of them were glaring at him with anger and sadness.

"Please don't stop, she can't die…" He managed in between crying; begging them to continue crying even though deep down he was sure she had already gone.

"Linda shock her one more time" Zoe commanded, everyone watched on as Dixie was shocked for the 5th time in half an hour, this time the long beep stopped.

"Ok, she is back" Linda smiled, taking Dixie's pulse.

"Right we need to set up for a stomach pump, Jeff I think you should leave" Zoe said, not even looking at him. Tamzin dragged him back out, placing him in the staffroom. Watching as he broke down in tears on the sofa, she read the letter again scanning her eyes over each paragraph.

"So is she still worthless, do you still not care if she lives or dies?" Most of their friends could hear what she was saying, and nobody could believe what Jeff had been saying about Dixie. Jeff didn't reply just sat on the sofa, still shaking after seeing Dixie in that state.

"That's what I thought, I can't believe you hit her too, then wished her dead" Tamzin spat, remembering what Dixie had put in the letter. Jeff could now remember hitting her, and what he said, he buried his head in shame unable to say anything, he continued to bite his gums so hard he could taste his own blood.

"You're not worthy of Dixie," Then Tamzin left, feeling annoyed with Jeff, she shut the door behind her, shutting him in the staff room. Then turning to her friends who all looked in her direction,

"For anybody who is unaware of what happened, Jeffrey Collier called his wife worthless and wished her dead, at a time she needed comfort and support. I believe this is part of the reason why Dixie has done what she did, as the lack of support she got from Jeff tipped her over the edge. Therefore I would advise rather strongly that you will ignore Jeff, and only talk to him about Dixie's condition." Everyone stood gobsmacked at Tamzin's speech, but did as she was told. Nobody went into the staff room to see Jeff, as they were all appalled at the way he had behaved towards Dixie. They couldn't ignore him completely, as they needed to keep him updated on Dixie's condition which was very bleak. It was Tamzin's turn to inform him, that Dixie still wasn't improving. When she walked in Jeff hadn't moved from the spot he was in two hours ago,

"Dixie still isn't improving, her liver is a mess."

"Can I see her?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Tamzin asked with no feeling.

"I do care Tamzin, please believe me I do"

"It isn't me you need to be saying that too is it?"

"Can I see her?" Jeff repeated, wanting desperately to see Dixie. He convinced himself he didn't care but deep down he did, he really did.

"She is in resus 2" Tamzin then left him, Jeff got up leaving the staffroom. Noticing everybody was ignoring him, giving him a weak stare then proceeding back to what they were doing. Pushing the door of resus 2 open, he looked at Dixie on the bed. Once Sam saw him enter, she pushed herself passed him and left, he now knew what Dixie must have felt like. He stood next to her moving the hair from her eyes, then taking her letter from his pocket and reading it for the billionth time.

"Sorry I wasn't there for you Dix, and I am so sorry for hurting you and letting him hurt you. I should have been there to protect you…" He broke down once more In tears, how could he have been so stupid, and not seen what he did to her. The door opened and Tamzin came in,

"When she comes out of hospital, I'm going to let her move in with me for a bit"

"What, why?" Jeff knew now he would not be able to cope without her.

"Because I want you to realise, what life would be like without her"


	23. Chapter 23

Jeff felt like his world was coming crashing down around him, but part of him still didn't believe Dixie. He read the letter again, as he closed his eyes he could see Dixie lying on the floor looking up to him scared and frightened, he took in a deep breath and looked to his hand that he hit Dixie with. It all felt foreign to him, he would have never dreamed about hurting Dixie, but part of him still didn't regret it, part of him was glad Dixie was going to stay with Tamzin, and part of him was siding with Mick and not Dixie.

He still had to stay with Dixie though, he felt like he had to Dixie was his wife, his best friend the one he was supposed to care about, but he wasn't sure if he felt this way anymore. He folded the letter, even though he thought it was all lies, it may still be Dixie's last ever words that she thought, before she did what she did, she wrote it and addressed it to him. Holding her hand and rubbing circles in her palm, but he still couldn't look at her just stared at the floor. Tamzin was never one to be strong towards him, it was him staying strong for her she was the one that needed supporting, but when it was Dixie, Tamzin put her foot down, she didn't like the way Jeff was treating her, and she would and has quite happily expressed this.

"You still don't believe it do you?" Tamzin could see Jeff didn't believe it, by the way he was refusing to look at Dixie.

Jeff shook his head; he couldn't believe Mick would do such a thing to Dixie. How could she expect him to believe that?

"Well then what are you doing with Dixie then?" Tamzin questioned, if he didn't believe her why was he at her bedside.

"I made a promise to her Dad to look after her" Jeff said still looking at the ground, although part of him didn't believe Dixie he made a promise.

"You have already broken that promise Jeff," Tamzin looked from Jeff to Dixie, crossing her arms.

"I only want to make things right" He continued to sob a little, tracing the lines on Dixie's palm with his thumb.

"The only way you are going to do that Jeff is by believing her" She exclaimed pointing to Dixie, but Jeff didn't look up, he didn't know why but he didn't want to look at her.

"But I can't" He didn't look at Dixie not once, not sure what to believe.

"Well then you better just go" Tamzin opened the door; Jeff didn't take much persuading to leave.

"I want you to bring Dixie's things too, everything" Tamzin added, she was going to take Dixie in and help her get better, that's if she made it because it was obvious this was something Jeff wouldn't do.

"Be glad to be rid of them" Jeff said spitefully, pushing Tamzin slightly as he left the room. He got a lot of glares as he walked through the ED, not one person feeling sorry for him. He scowled pushing open the ED doors with force, then started the journey home. When he got there, he went into the kitchen pulling out the black sacks, then taking them to Dixie's room. Opening the first one, throwing in her clothes not bothering to fold them, he just wanted every memory of her torn from him. He lied to her in the last words she said, and it was a sick accusation out of jealousy. He knotted the first black bag, putting it in the corner of the room, to start on the next. Abs looked confused as to what he was doing, Jeff gave him a tickle then returned to the bags.

Filling them with all her possessions, her clothing, perfume and other sentimental objects, even though he didn't believe her, he made sure everything that she cared about was packed in a way that wasn't damaged. After 3 black bags and a suit case, he turned examining the room no evidence that Dixie had been here, but he could still smell her, he opened the windows wanting to get rid of every clue that she had been in here. He put the bags in the car, and drove back to the ED, Tamzin was outside waiting by her own car, as they had arranged to meet for Dixie's things.

"Here" Jeff gave her the bags, feeling no emotion. Watching as she put them in her own car, then locking it.

"Thank you" She pulled her jacket on feeling the cold breeze.

"Pleasure, and tell her I will be contacting my lawyer for a divorce" He snapped, turning around to go back to the car, not bothering to ask how Dixie was.

"Of course" She shouted back at him, as he went into his own car driving back to the house. When he got back he could no longer smell Dixie, nobody would have ever known she had lived here. Jeff looked to the kitchen table and indeed the ring he gave Dixie was lying there, he picked it up putting it in the draw, along with her letter of lies. He felt his phone vibrating, and saw it was Mick.

**Hi Jeff, Going out for a pint. Want to come?**

Jeff tapped a message back, as fast as his thumbs were able to work, he needed a night out, a pint seemed like a good idea. Going into his room, everything felt so quiet something was lost, the thing that was lost was Dixie but he was glad she was had betrayed him so he still wanted nothing to do with her anymore. There was a part of him that wanted Dixie, but overall he wanted to be as far away from her as possible, he never thought he would think this, but he felt the same way about Dixie as he did Lucy, and wanted to cause her pain to make himself feel better.


	24. Chapter 24

Jeff got his jacket, and left the house slaming the door behind him. Making his way to the local, where Mick was waiting outside, they greeted with a smile and handshake.

"So Jeff how's things?" Mick asked, placing his wallet on the table at the bar.

"Apart from my mental, selfish cow of a wife trying to top herself. Good you?" He then ordered his drinks, waiting for them to be given to him.

"What Dixie tried to kill herself" Mick asked trying to sound surprised, but he was glad about what he had done managing to push Dixie over the edge.

"Yeah, taking the easy option out of it" He replied paying the bar woman, and taking his drink. Mick couldn't hide his smile, so just took a gulp of his beer so as to hide it.

"I suppose your right, so is she going to be ok?" Mick edged himself to the side of the chair he had sat himself on, looking at Jeff who was continuing to drink.

"You know what, after what she has done I don't really care" he said spitefully, slamming his empty glass on the table making it shake.

"I'm guessing she has changed then?"

"She isn't the Dixie I fell in love with" Jeff replied getting up to order more drinks, two rounds later and he found himself sat next to another woman, in her early 30's long brown hair very slim.

"Do you need the toilet?" the woman whispered into Jeff's ear.

"No, why do you then princess?" he asked, but then realising what she mean't.

"Yes, but will you come with me?" The woman asked, dragging Jeff off his chair involuntary, and of course everyone knew what ' toilet ' really meant. Once they had finished, Jeff and the woman came out of the toilet hand in hand, going back over to the table where Mick was sat.

"Enjoy that Jeffrey?" Mick smirked knowing exactly what the couple had been up to.

"I really needed that, " He replied taking a sip of the new beer that was on his table, the woman put her hand on Jeff's thigh rubbing in a circular motion, then they shared a passionate kiss in front of everyone in the room.

"Maybe you should take her home Jeff" Mick chuckled as Jeff and the woman drew out of the kiss, Jeff looked at the woman who nodded, then they both staggered their way back to his home. Opening the door, they immediately shared another passionate kiss, finding themselves in each other's arms. Caressing each other slowly, until they were in a piled heap on the living room floor, neither of them dressed just laid in complete darkness.

When Jeff woke up, he looked to the naked woman opposite, not remembering a thing of what had happened the night before, but in a way he felt immensely better, he knew his and Dixie's marriage was one of convenience but it still felt good going behind her back, cheating…

He got up, putting on his clothes and waking the woman, making them both coffee,

"Well that was good" The woman smiled, Jeff didn't even know her name.

"What's your name then princess?" Jeff asked placing a mug of coffee in front of her.

"Why need names?" She teased before answering his question,

"It's Teresa" She replied drinking the coffee, in an attempt to cure her hangover.

"Pretty name," Jeff commented, wrapping himself around with a dressing gown. They spent the rest of the morning talking, then Teresa got her clothes on and left, saying she had to go to work. Jeff dropped her off, before she left giving her another passionate kiss their tongues dancing around together, as he moved his hand to the back of her head holding her in place for a few seconds then letting her go.

"Bye Jeffrey, thank you for last night" She smiled, then climbed out the car going into the building that was full of offices. Jeff felt happy about what he had done, and he was sure to be telling Dixie about his encounter with someone ten years younger with a beautiful figure.

He was going to the hospital, where he was hoping Dixie was awake so he could make her gloat. When he got there he went into the ambulance bay, so he could pick up his phone charger that for some reason was in his locker. When he went in he picked up the charger, and felt eyes on him so turned, Tamzin was there giving him an evil glare.

"What?" He said rather defensively slamming his locker shut.

"Why are you being like this?" She questioned, having her arms tightly folded.

"ME BEING LIKE THIS, SHE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BETRAYED ME, LYING. I FEEL SO GOOD AFTER CHEATING ON HER LAST NIGHT!" He shouted the words escaping from his thoughts.

"You did what?" Tamzin couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I had sex with another woman, twice if I recall. AND I HOPE IT KILLS HER INSIDE" He felt a sharp pain across his face where Tamzin slapped him with a great force.

"YOU CAN'T KILL SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY DEAD!" She screamed as loud as her voice would go.

"THAT'S RIGHT JEFF, SHE DIED LAST NIGHT, BUT YOU WOULDN'T CARE WOULD YOU?" She stormed off leaving him on the floor his hand to his face, thinking about what she had just said.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for shorter chapter**

* * *

He sat unsure of what she had just said, Dixie was dead…Dixie was gone…There was nobody he would be able to go to, as the only person he wanted was Dixie.

He felt heavy tears falling, he couldn't believe Dixie was dead, part of him was not bothered, but he felt like he had been punched with part of him being ripped away. His cheek started to sting where Tamzin had hit it, he couldn't understand how Dixie was gone. He believed Tamzin to be lying so got up, going into the ED and the room where Dixie was. He got outside the door; when he opened it the bed was empty just a cleaner changing the sheets. Feeling eyes on him once more, he turned Tamzin and the rest of his friends were standing staring at him, with no emotion or sympathy towards him what so ever.

"She can't….Please tell me she isn't…" He gasped looking to each of them for reassurance but he got nothing,

"Jeff her liver was a mess, nothing could have been done" Zoe said looking to the ground, talking quietly. Jeff came to the realisation that she was really gone, she had gone and there was no coming back.

"You could have done something, there must have been…" he stopped as Zoe shook her head,

"Jeff, her liver was beyond repair, she knew the amount of tablets she took would have had this effect."

"Would she have been in pain?" he asked, as nobody answered him he got to the conclusion that the answer was yes.

"We tried everything we could have" Zoe tried to explain but Jeff just left the ED, going into the ambulance bay, breaking down into tears. He could feel the presence of Dixie near; as she spent a lot of her time here he could still hear her voice. He was angry at her, but he never wanted it to end like this, while he was having sex with another woman, Dixie was dying painfully and slowly. He looked around wanting to see Dixie coming around the corner, but she didn't. Jeff continued to sob on the floor, pulling up his knees thinking of what life was going to be like without his Dixie.

He pulled himself up of the ground, rubbing away his tears, he soon stopped himself crying. Starting the journey home, he decided to walk wanting to feel the cold harsh air blow against him. When he got outside the house he opened the door, many ghosts of Dixie flying around the room. He looked to the floor of where he woke up in the morning with the other woman, the urge to vomit overwhelming he only just made it to the kitchen where he vomited violently in the sink.

There was no Dixie to comfort him, no Dixie to make him feel better. Once he finished, he opened the draw where Dixie's letter and ring was. These were the last things he had of her, the only evidence she had ever been in his life at all. He slid down to the floor holding the letter and reading it once more,

His tears feel onto the piece of paper, although he still believed her last words to be a lie this was the last thing he had of her. He traced her words with his fingers, imagining how she wrote them he could see where parts of the words were smudged from tears, not his but Dixie's. Feeling himself beginning to shake, he moved his attention to the ring twiddling with it. There was no warmth around the ring, he then put the possessions back in the draw. Moving himself to the fridge, pulling out a can of beer, hoping it would drown his sorrows. He had beer after beer, starting to feel no emotion anymore, he felt nothing. Staggering upstairs, he went into Dixie's room collapsing onto her bed crying, burying his head in her pillows he could faintly smell her on them but he had to press himself against them so hard to smell it, he felt himself suffocating so released his pressure. Looking around the room he could still feel Dixie, but it felt distant and weak. Standing up he went into the bathroom, looking in the mirror at the state he was in, he looked away quickly he was completely torn, still not sure who to believe, he wasn't sure if he could believe Dixie and her accusations. There was no way he could make it up to her if he did, as she was gone and he would never see her again. But then Jeff had an idea, the same idea that Dixie had. If he did it, there was a chance of hope he could see and be with her again, but he wasn't sure if he was willing to go to those lengths of extremes to test his theory.


	26. Chapter 26

He ran his hands across his head, looking to the bed where Dixie would sleep. It was empty, with nothing but memories, memories that hurt him to remember. Feeling himself shaking, he collapsed into a heap on the floor, holding his legs and resting his forehead on his knees. He stayed like this for hours, paying no attention to the light seeping in through the open curtains, shinning a harsh bright light in his teary eyes. There was nothing in the room that belonged to Dixie, he could no longer smell her scent as hard as he tried it was gone, just as she was.

Getting up, and then stumbling downstairs. He put on the kettle, getting out two mugs from the cupboard, then stopping realising he only needed one. Once the kettle boiled he picked it up, he wasn't prepared for the weight of the water and the kettle dropped spilling boiling water everywhere, including his hand.

"Shit…" Jeff muttered to himself, putting his burnt hand under the cold tap, feeling the instant cool on his now burnt skin. Putting the tea towel over the side, to clear off the water, once finished he left the house, starting the walk to the ED. He didn't want to be at the house, it was too many memories, he wasn't sure if the ambulance bay would help as Dixie spent most of her time there too, but he had nothing better to do. When he got there, he got some evil glances from his colleges, he ignored them going to the office, where he was hoping Mick would be. Knocking on the door, his hand stinging as it came into contact with it. Then waiting until he was given permission to enter,

"Come in" Mick called, not knowing it was Jeff at the door, until he pushed it open weakly.

"Jeff, I am really sorry for what has happened" Mick looked up from the computer, and to Jeff who was in the doorway.

"You know?" Jeff questioned, closing the door quietly behind him.

"About Dixie, yes…" Mick looked to the floor, to hide the smile that was forming. Jeff didn't notice as his eyes were too red and sore.

"It wasn't your fault Jeff; she just needed a way out. Maybe she felt bad about holding you back?" Mick suggested, he stayed where he was, continuing to look at the ground as he didn't want Jeff to spot the menacing smile plastered across his face.

"I didn't care that she was holding me back…" Jeff replied bluntly, looking at the blister that was forming on his hand.

"Maybe she did, you can't blame yourself for this" Mick lifted his head, knowing he could now control his expression to make it one of sadness. Jeff didn't reply, just continued to take in small details of the room, from the small pot plant, to the cup of random pens and pencils.

"Can I take some time off?"

"Of course, how about we go out tonight, you could use it" it didn't take long, before he answered, not having to think about it for more than a few seconds.

"Yeah, alright then" Jeff replied, feeling the corners of his mouth turn into a smile.

"Even you said yourself Jeff; if she survived it you would have divorced her not seeing her again. At least this way it saves the stress of lawyers," Mick remained his sad expression, knowing as soon as Jeff left he would not be able to stop a wide grin showing.

"Suppose you're right" Jeff confessed,

"She was behaving like a cow" He added, sniffing a little then rubbing his forehead.

"See you at eight?" Mick asked, wanting to know what time he would be seeing Jeff down the pub.

"Yeah" Jeff looked at his watch this gave him all day, he then left the office. Going outside it was a little warmer than before, he left for his way back to the house. Strangely no longer feeling sad, Dixie was being a cow, and she did hit Mick. It didn't seem that long, until he came back to the house. Going in immediately, to the kitchen opening the fridge as he felt his stomach rumble, his hand hurt a little but he ignored the stinging. Something caught his eye in the corner of the fridge, it was Dixie's chocolate that was half unfinished the same one that he threatened to eat. Shutting the fridge, as he realised all the items in it were things that Dixie had brought for the both of them to share, nothing was in there that hadn't been opened so all of it had traces of her.

It felt like forever until 7:30 finally came around, he left the house making his way to the pub. When he arrived Mick was outside like he had been before.

Four hours later, Jeff staggered out the pub, feeling better he felt no emotion once again. He found his way home, then after several attempts managed to open the door with his uninjured hand. Staggering up the stairs and for some reason going into Dixie's room instead of his own, opening a draw but stopping at what he saw. A pile of leaflets, and cheque book and a letter addressed to Dixie. He picked them up, looking as closely as he could with his blurred vision, it was a letter. He opened it and read,

**Dixie,**

**I think it is a great idea, John and Sophia are really missing Jeff, it will be a great surprise for them all. So yes I do give my permission for it to go ahead, **

**Lucy**

Jeff then turned to the cheque book, and other documents seeing that it was a payment list. A payment list for a travel agent, he looked down the list of things that was on there, two train tickets to Holby from London, and a list of various days out for 3, one payment was missing the one that was due in yesterday, then it hit him. Dixie had been planning for him to have John and Sophia for a while, he collapsed to the floor in tears realising the valuable woman he had lost.


	27. Chapter 27

The urge to throw up hit him again; he just about made it to the toilet being violently sick, he didn't know if it was the effects of the vast amount of alcohol he had drunk, or if it was the thought of never seeing Dixie again. He continued to be sick, feeling tears streaming down his face, he didn't understand as to why Dixie lied to him in the letter.

Back in the bedroom, he collapsed onto Dixie's bed sobbing himself to sleep. When he woke up, he looked around noticing he had slept in later than he usually would. Looking around expecting to see Dixie, but there was nothing he knew he asked for time off, but he couldn't face staying in the house not by himself, and with no Dixie.

When he arrived at the ambulance bay, he got the same harsh looks as he gotten the day before. Tamzin was sat on one of the sofa's, flicking through the newspaper until she spotted Jeff and stormed over to him.

"Dixie's locker needs sorting" She gave him the key, then tried to walk passed him but he took hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"I can't do this…" Jeff held back the tears, he didn't want to go through Dixie's things, he didn't feel that it was right.

"Well you should have thought about that, when you were treating Dixie like a pile of dirt" Tamzin spat, wriggling her arm out of his but staying put.

"I didn't mean too, I didn't think…"

"That's your problem Jeff, you never think. You still don't believe it do you?" Jeff couldn't look at Tamzin he just rubbed the key with his thumb.

"How am I supposed to believe what that letter says?"

"Because it was from Dixie," Tamzin was annoyed that he didn't believe it, at one point he did care deeply about Dixie, she couldn't understand why he didn't now.

"I still can't believe it" Jeff kicked the air with his foot.

"It doesn't matter what you do or don't believe, because she has gone" Tamzin replied with tears in her eyes, leaving Jeff to sort through Dixie's locker. Jeff turned and directly behind him was her locker, he wanted it remained untouched but this was something that needed to be done. Slowly putting in the key and turning it, hearing a click as the locker swung open as it did Dixie's scent quickly escaped from it. Hanging around the room as an invisible cloak that wrapped around Jeff tightly, he took in the scent more tears falling as it quickly faded. Then paying attention to the contents in the locker, the inside of the door was arranged with little posset notes of things she needed to do. Putting his hand on them, and tracing each and every individual one, then looking at what was lying inside, many photos of him and her some he picked up tracing Dixie's face with his fingers.

_"Jeffrey I said can you help me with the laundry, not sit on your arse and watch telly" Dixie scowled empting the washing into the machine, then slapping Jeff round the head with a sock._

_"Calm down princess, go get some clothes on and we will go out."_

_"If you haven't noticed Jeffrey, I have 3 loads of washing to do, because somebody is too lazy to do their own" Dixie commented, pointing at the large pile of clothes sat on top of the machine._

_"Come on Dix, we haven't been out in ages" Jeff stood up going over to Dixie, who just glared._

_"We could go out more often, if somebody helped me with the washing" She continued to fill the machine until it was full and she slammed the door shut._

Jeff remembered how he managed to persuade Dixie to go out for the day, the photo was off them both sat on the pier. He took her to the beach, and they took Abs having chips for lunch. Placing it carefully back in the locker, he shut it deciding to clear it out after the shift he wiped his tears away and went to get changed into his work clothes.

He got into the ambulance next to Tamzin, who didn't say a word as she drove to their shout. After a few shouts it became more awkward until Tamzin spoke,

"Have you sorted through Dixie's locker?" Tamzin questioned, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

"No, going to sort it when we get back" He sat fiddling with the zip on his jacket,

"Right, well it needs to be done"

"I know" Jeff snapped, nearly breaking off the zip.

"You wouldn't have to be doing it, if you were there when she needed you. Why don't you believe her Jeff?"

"It's a bit much to believe don't you think?"

"No, No I don't" They were interrupted by a shout, they arrived at the location realising it was a hoax.

"So you did hit her?" Tamzin asked as they returned back to the ambulance, Jeff weakly nodded feeling more tears fall. Tamzin scowled, then jumped out of the ambulance which she accurately parked in the bay. While Jeff went over to Dixie's locker once more, this time when he opened it, he didn't take a closer look as to what was there, just emptied it putting it in his bag to closely examine at home. He turned around seeing Mick,

"Jeff, I would have arranged cover for you today"

"I know, but I wanted to come in"

"Right, is that of you and Dixie?" Mick pointed to Jeff's hand which had a tight hold of one of the pictures in Dixie's locker. Jeff nodded, looking at the different photo in closer detail.

"It really wasn't your fault Jeff" Jeff wasn't sure how to answer so remained silent.

"When was the photo taken?" Mick added, noticing Jeff wasn't talking.

"About a year ago, when she was obsessed with feeling self-conscious"

"People with birth marks like that normally are" Mick said, regreting immediatly what he said.

"Yeah, but I didn't care" Jeff paused, thinking of how Mick knew about Dixie's birthmark. Dixie had a very distinctive birthmark on her right breast, the only reason Jeff knew is because he walked in on her having a bath, which got him a good telling off, but after a while Dixie didn't mind. He was wondering how Mick knew, he couldn't have meant another birthmark as that was the only one Dixie had.

"Get yourself home Jeff" Mick encouraged him, Jeff continued to think.

Meanwhile Tamzin saw them talking, she didn't particularly trust Mick, her and him didn't see eye to eye. She snuck into his office, after having watched him insert the pin to open the door. Once she got in she looked around the room looking for any evidence, proving what Mick had done to Dixie, she knew it would be like searching for a needle in a hay stack.

Opening a few draws, there was nothing out of the ordinary, until she went to the fifth draw, opening it and seeing something had been wrapped in a white cloth. She picked it up cautiously, knowing immediately what it was, she never imagined to be holding a gun in her hands.

"What are you doing in here?" A sharp voice echoed through the room making her drop the gun on the floor,

"Everything that Dixie said was the truth" Tamzin gasped, edging herself back towards the wall as Mick came closer.

"Well done, you get an A Sherlock." Mick picked up the gun removing it from the cloth, Tamzin plucked up the courage to try and move past him, but he twisted her arm awkwardly making her fall to the floor painfully, looking up to him feeling her blood racing with fear.

"Now what happens to little girls who come into places they are not supposed to" Mick stood sideways, pointing the gun to Tamzin.


	28. Chapter 28

Tamzin remained still on the floor, her eyes glued to what Mick was holding. She could feel herself shaking with fear, not sure if to risk running or remain put she came to the conclusion her body wouldn't be able to move away from him fast enough. Her heart pounding with fear, all this fear radiating through her.

"Why so scared?" Mick asked laughing, then crouching down, pulling up Tamzin by her neck then shoving her against the wall as she let out a piercing scream. His body pushed against hers, with the gun into her stomach as he did with Dixie. Tamzin began to struggle, so Mick hit her around the head her body became limp as he let her hit the floor with force. Looking at Tamzin who was unresponsive, he knew he couldn't leave her in the office so he got hold of her arms, dragging her body outside of his room and dumping her by one of the ambulances. Turning his head, he could see or hear nobody so just ran out of the bay, taking the gun with him.

Jeff didn't leave the bay, just wondered about what Mick had said, still not understanding how he knew about Dixie's birthmark, he was soon brought out of his thoughts by a sickening scream. Looking around, he could see nobody he thought he had been imagining things but he couldn't think up something that seemed so real.

"Hello?" He called getting no response, getting to his feet starting to look around the bay, not noticing anything out of the ordinary, until he heard a small groan.

"Hello, is anybody here?" Continuing to call, the bay felt like a ghost town everybody had left to the RTC on the ring road. He heard the same groan a little louder this time, allowing him to trace the direction. Behind one of the ambulances, he could see Tamzin beginning to sit up, looking around confused. He went over to her, crouching down and placing his hands on her back to help her sit up.

"Are you ok, what happened?" Jeff looked around for an explanation, then back to Tamzin who was still looking confused and a little pale.

"I don't know" She replied, she didn't know if she was dreaming about what had happened with her and Mick, she didn't understand how she had moved from his office to one of the corners of the bay, she realised she must have been dreaming and collapsed or something.

"Did you faint?" He asked, not sure of what else could have happened.

"I'm not sure"

"Let's get you something to drink, come on" He helped her up, keeping hold of her as he was scared she would collapse. Placing her gently on the sofa, making sure she stayed put while he left to get her some water returning a few seconds later. Unscrewing the lid, giving her one less job to do, then sitting himself next to her as she drank, he could see the colour returning to her face after drinking.

"Better?" He asked, moving the lose stands of hair that had come loose from her pony tail after the struggle with Mick.

"Much, thanks Jeff" She could still feel herself shaking, unsure if what happened was a dream or reality.

"It's alright, can you not remember what happened?"

"No, I think I must have blacked out" She had a little more to drink, then rested the bottle on her legs.

"Well what have you been eating" Jeff was still sounding concerned, feeling tears fill up again as he thought of how Dixie would handle a situation like this.

"Not much, been busy" She sighed, realising she probably should have been drinking and eating more.

"Do you want to come to mine, until you feel better?" Jeff knew Tamzin lived alone, and she didn't look well, he was scared that she would faint and fall down the stairs or something.

"No, it's fine honestly"

"Come on" Jeff ignored her pleas, helping her to her feet again.

When he got home, he let Tamzin in the house, feeling better that he wasn't alone. Shutting the door behind him, and placing Dixie's belongings on the armchair carefully, not wanting to damage the last things he had of her, his eyes starting to fill as for some reason Dixie's scent was flooding the house.

"Do you want something to drink?" He didn't know why he was asking, he should be forcing her to drink even if she didn't want to. She nodded her head weakly and sat herself on the sofa, feeling guilty. Going into the kitchen and opening the fridge to find the milk cartoon to make tea for Tamzin, not noticing that some of the contents had been moved around, or that the milk was brand new not living off the few drops that was previously in there.

Tamzin drank the tea gratefully, as Jeff got out Dixie's letter again and started to read, looking for one line in particular, he found it and the words raced around in his mind.

_My skin still crawls as there isn't a part of me he failed to touch. _He shivered at the thought, of somebody trying to make Dixie do something she didn't want to do, how somebody could even think of doing something as horrific as that he would never know.

Biting his gums, and starting to cry as he read the last few paragraphs, the last lines moving him deeply,

_From Your princess, Your Dixie_

Dixie was indeed his princess, his Dixie and now she had gone, Tamzin looked at the state of the man feeling terribly guilty.

"What is it Jeff?" Tamzin asked, pulling him to sit next to her, putting her arm around the crying man, placing the mug on the table so she could keep hold of Jeff.

"She meant everything to me" He kept hold of the letter, trying to read it again in his blurred vision

"She died thinking you hated her" Her words were soft, but also harsh.

"I didn't hate her, just didn't believe her" Wiping his tears away he could now read the letter clearly.

"You still don't" She couldn't understand why he couldn't.

"No…" He replied, it was too much for him to take in that somebody would want to hurt Dixie, somebody who was so caring and innocent.

"She didn't deserve to die" Feeling himself beginning to break down again, Tamzin held the man tighter, the creaking of the floor boards behind went on unheard.

"She also didn't deserve to be treated in the way you treated her" Jeff knew Tamzin was right, and he felt sick for the way he shouted at her, hit her, knowing there was no way he could ever make it up to her, then he cheated on her as she lay on her deathbed.

"I know, I was just…" He couldn't explain why he did it, as he really didn't know himself.

"That doesn't make it acceptable Jeff," Tamzin kept her voice harsh, trying to make Jeff see that he was an idiot for mistreating Dixie then taking her for granted.

"I can't cope anymore, she is gone. I never realised the little things she did that made me complete." Jeff noticed the way there was never any fresh milk, the way his collars weren't ironed straight, and the way the towels weren't folded neatly.

"You took her for granted, what little things?" She asked, making Jeff remember all the things Dixie did that he didn't realise until now.

"The way the towels were folded neatly, my collars were never creased; fresh milk was always ready to drink. Her hairs always littering the sofa," Tamzin chuckled; Jeff didn't notice the blonde hair that was on the side of the chair, lying as lifeless as the woman whom it had once belonged to.

He continued to cry, everything in the background fading from the sound of the telivision and the footsteps behind him, he was only thinking of the fact he was never going to see Dixie again.

"Since when did you notice those things Jeffrey?" The new voice added to the room, making his heart skip a beat, turning around and their eyes met.


	29. Chapter 29

"Dixie?" Jeff gasped, his eyes scanning over the woman who was standing in the doorway. Her skin was pale, and thinner, he could see dark circles under her eyes where she hadn't been sleeping and her eyes were red a piece of evidence that she had been crying. He looked on, waiting for an answer hoping he wasn't going mental and wasn't imagining things. Either way if it was memory or really Dixie, it was a sight he didn't think he would be seeing anytime soon. He blinked expecting to wake up from a dream when he opened his eyes, this didn't happen.

"Yes Jeffrey" She replied, looking at the wreck of what her husband had turned into.

"I thought… I thought you were dead…" He shook his head, expecting her to fade away but she didn't.

"And I thought you were my friend" Her words stung him, but he just couldn't believe what he was seeing, she could scream and shout blue murder as long as she was really standing there.

"Dixie I am so sorry… is that really you?" He got up moving closer to her, hoping it wasn't a figment of his imagination.

"I'm not a bloody hallucination if that's what you mean" She moved her hand into his, he felt her skin knowing this was real. He felt her warm touch, extremely comforting hoping this wouldn't be a dream which he would wake up from, as this would tear him even more apart, it would be like having her ripped away from him twice. Jeff spent the next few moments, tracing her features running his hand through her hair feeling it's softness. Feeling more tears rolling, too shocked to speak, if this was true Dixie still didn't look well she was thinner than before, and a pale complexion he was gasping for air.

Dixie looked at him sympathetically, then moved herself into his arms where without hesitation he wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. Stroking her hair, continuing to hold her he never wanted to let go. He could feel himself shaking as his arms stayed holding her, kissing the top of her head lightly.

"I thought I lost you" Jeff managed in between tears,

"You betrayed me. Jeff when you hit me…" Her voice trailed off, never thinking she would be saying those words, never thinking Jeff would have laid a finger on her. She remembered waking up in hospital without Jeff, Tamzin told her that he left. She could remember breaking down, feeling useless and rejected, but still wanting Jeff. She knew this would be cruel, but she didn't think Jeff cared and she wanted to test this, see how Jeff would react to being without her.

"Princess I am so sorry, I never…I never…" He went back to holding her, unable to speak he now knew why his home had the scent of Dixie again, and tracing his mind back to the fridge which was fuller than before with the contents in a more organised order.

"You made me feel worthless Jeff" She looked to the ground, she had never felt so low in her life.

"Dixie please believe me, you are far from worthless, you are the most precious thing in my life" He put his hands either side of her face, looking directly into the eyes he never thought he would see again, rubbing her tears that were falling away.

"You didn't feel that way before" As she pulled herself away Jeff was hurt deeply, but he was just glad she was alive.

"Don't say that Dixie, of course I felt that way before you are the most important thing to me" He had really hurt Dixie, he pushed her over the edge leading to her trying to end her own life in which he thought he had succeeded.

"I didn't feel like it, that's why I played dead" Dixie felt bad about what she decided to do, but she wanted to see how Jeff would be effected if he did care for her still, after seeing him suffer she couldn't do it for much longer.

"Dixie you know I couldn't live without you" Jeff knew it wouldn't be long before he did something what Dixie would call stupid and reckless, but he couldn't live without her, he didn't want to.

"You don't have to" She replied, seeing how much of a state Jeff had got himself into.

"Where were you?" Jeff questioned wondering where Dixie had been all this time, keeping herself at such low key,

"Been staying with Tamzin," Jeff looked back to Tamzin, having forgotten she was in the room, happy that Dixie hadn't been living of the streets and she had a roof over her head.

"I've missed you so much" Jeff pulled her in for another hug, he couldn't hold her tight enough and managing to move them both to the sofa, he held her close not letting go and cherishing every time she felt her breath.

"Tamzin can you drop of my things please sweetheart?" Dixie moved her head from Jeff's chest so she was looking at Tamzin, who was still trying to figure out what had happened.

"Dixie you sure about this?" Tamzin looked back to Dixie, not wanting her to rush into things.

"Yeah, I need to be with Jeff" This made Jeff feel worse after hearing Dixie's words, after the way he treated her she still wanted to be with him, even after he hurt her. Tamzin smiled at her friends kindness and forgiving, but she knew Dixie needed support most importantly the support from Jeff, she had been a wreck since not seeing Jeff, trying to hide it but Dixie couldn't hide her hurt for not being with Jeff for long. Jeff and Dixie remained silent as Tamzin left the house, leaving the couple in peace.

"Dixie I didn't know what I was going to do without you. Please promise me you won't do something like that again" He didn't want Dixie taken away from him, she meant too much he had experienced what life would be like without her and he never wanted to experience that again. He was worried as he had to wait a while for a reply, and it wasn't the one he wanted.

"Jeff you don't understand, I needed to end everything, I couldn't deal with it any longer. I know you don't believe me, but please trust me in when I say you will understand why I did what I did" This was the best way Dixie could explain.

"I don't think I will Dix, I'm not sure if I want to understand" He continued stroking her hair, if he couldn't feel a part of her he became worried that she disappeared.

"You will Jeffrey, just give it time" Jeff sighed, continuing to play with her hair, not taking his eyes of her as her head laid peacefully on his chest.

"You cannot believe how sorry I am Dixie, I'm just glad your with me" He admitted returning the weak smile Dixie gave him, she was still pale and he could see where she was wasting away the image made him upset and happy at the same time, on one hand she was ill, on the other she was alive and still with him, he was just going to have to look after her, he had been given a second chance and he was going to cling onto this.

"You still don't believe me do you though Jeff?" She asked with a hint of sadness in her voice. Jeff lifted her chin seeing her sadness, he was torn in two not sure who to believe.


	30. Chapter 30

Jeff thought for a while, then looked to Dixie's chest.

"Can I see something Dixie?" She looked at him a little confused, but she was less confused as he moved his hand to the top of her shirt, pulling it down a little she knew what he wanted to see.

"What? Jeff you know I hate my birthmark"

"I just want to check something Princess, if you want me to stop I will stop" Dixie nodded, and let him pull down her shirt, he could clearly see the top of her birthmark, but the rest was covered by her bra. He pulled her top back up, then gave her a weak smile, trying to figure how Mick knew about her birthmark.

"What is it?" Dixie questioned feeling a little worried, Jeff sensed this in her voice.

"Nothing, it's fine Princess, you look tired" Jeff commented, running his thumb under her eyes.

"I feel tired,"

"Let's get you to bed then Princess" Jeff helped Dixie up, noticing how weak she was. Once she was up the stairs, he gave her one of his shirts to wear for bed as she had nothing of her own. She allowed him to help her get changed, as he could see she was struggling to stay awake. When she was dressed, he pulled back the covers allowing her in he turned to leave but was stopped by her voice.

"Jeff where are you going?" Dixie sat up, looking to Jeff sadly not wanting to be left alone.

"In my own room, why?" Jeff was confused, looking to Dixie who was looking around the room as if she was looking for somebody else that may be in there.

"Could you stay with me?" Jeff saw that Dixie was looking scared at the thought of being left alone for some reason, so he went back over to the bed climbing in next to her. Dixie moved herself next to him much to Jeff's surprise and rested her head on his chest wrapping her arms around him, he returned the feeling holding her close. Her features were immediately calmed as she felt Jeff hug her, soon falling asleep in his arms. Jeff laid watching her for a while, playing with her hair softly and feeling her chest move up and down. Not at a single moment in that night he let go of her, he kept a strong grip on her body knowing it was keeping her calm and content.

When he woke up, Dixie was still there in his arms and still breathing strongly he smiled at her, and began to play with her hair feeling it's softness. Feeling that she was a little cold, he pulled the duvet covering more of her body in attempt to keep her warm, then returned his attention to her hair. Noticing her eyelids were moving, he continued to stroke her hair waiting for her to wake up properly,

"Jeff?" She asked, opening her eyes slowly looking to the man who she was joined to.

"I'm here Princess, I'm here" He kissed her forehead softly, feeling her warmth coming back to her.

"So you didn't go during the night then?"

"I never left you for a single second Dixie" the fear on her face relaxed into a more calm expression,

"Do you want some breakfast?" He asked, realising she looked weaker than the night before.

"Yes please Jeffrey" Helping her to sit up, he smiled and left to downstairs making her some tea and toast as quickly as he could before going back upstairs to where Dixie was. It was strange seeing her in one of his shirts, but in a way it made him smile as Dixie was really there, there for him to talk to and comfort.

"Here you go," He handed her the toast, watching her eat every mouthful slowly then he watched every sip of tea she took.

"When are we going to get my things?" Dixie asked, not wanting to spend the day in Jeff's clothing as comfortable as it was.

"We can go get them this morning if you like?" Jeff put his arms around her as she sat in the bed,

"Yes please" He pulled out his phone and text Tamzin, getting one back a few moments later as he had arranged to meet her at the ambulance bay as she had to work, so she would bring Dixie's possessions with her.

"Dixie, why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let me think you were dead…" Jeff managed without bursting into tears, remembering how it felt to be without his Dixie, his princess.

"I didn't think you cared, when I woke up in hospital you weren't there. I had you taken away from me, I didn't want to go on without you, I couldn't go on without you. I wanted to see if you cared, how you would react to not seeing me again" Dixie felt bad, but this was something she needed to do.

"I do care Dixie, believe me I do. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, I should have been there" Dixie wiped the tears from his eyes, this made him feel worse knowing he should be the one staying strong for her when really it was the other way around.

Half an hour later, Jeff was helping Dixie into the car, making sure she was comfortable before starting the few minutes' drive to the ED. When they arrived they got out of the car, Dixie had explained to him, everybody in the ED knew she was alive except him and Mick. He believed her a little more about Mick, but it was still a lot for him to take in.

When Dixie walked into the ambulance bay, she was immediately afraid looking behind her shoulder every few seconds. They looked around for Tamzin but found Mick instead, as Dixie saw him she moved herself closer towards Jeff.

"Oh my lord, Dixie?" Mick asked, although Dixie could see his anger and spit in his eyes.

"Long story" Jeff replied bluntly, moving his eyes over Mick.

"Glad you're ok" Dixie knew he didn't mean it, so just looked at him not replying.

"JEFF WHERE ARE YOU?" Tamzin's voice echoed around the bay, making Jeff and Dixie jump in unison.

"Come on then princess,"

"Actually Jeff, I would like to have a word with Dixie, seeing as she isn't…Well you know, I will need to discuss her shifts with her."

"Ok well let me put her stuff in the car, and we will be there in a sec" Jeff left with Dixie under his arm still.

"It is only for a few minutes, you can put the stuff in the car while I talk with Dixie" Mick suggested cleverly.

"I don't think…"

"Jeff I'll be fine" Dixie interrupted him,

"You sure Princess?" He looked a little concerned looking from Dixie to Mick.

"Yeah, I'm sure" Dixie was trying to stay strong. Jeff smiled at her before going off, looking behind him as Dixie went into Mick's office.

When Dixie entered the office, she was immediately scared looking around the room.

"So, look who's back you are like some disgusting, lesbian boomerang" Mick spat, slamming a pile of paper on the desk, making Dixie flinch back.

"No matter how hard I try, you just aren't learning, Jeff will never want a worthless lesbian like you"

"Why are you doing this, what have I ever done to you?" Dixie began to shake with fear, but she wanted to know what she had done to deserve this sort of treatment.

"I am doing this because you are a worthless lesbian, who is wasting air"

"I thought we were in here to discuss shifts"

"It was just a little white lie" He moved himself closer to Dixie, she was in between himself and the wall, she could feel him breathing on her neck.

"Now there is no call outs to disturb us is there," He moved one of his hands over Dixie's mouth as she began calling out, he laughed slowly moving his other hand up her top, beginning again to explore.

Jeff had moved everything from Tamzin's car to his own, then went to get Dixie. As he came outside his office, he saw something that made his heart drop. Dixie was backed against the wall where Mick had his hand across her mouth, the other hand rested on a place it shouldn't be.


	31. Chapter 31

Dixie could feel herself shaking, frightened her skin crawling as once again she could feel his touch. The seconds that passed, felt like hours to Dixie her heart thumping in her chest. Silently crying to herself, her eyes watering at what she was experiencing.

"Don't pretend you're not enjoying this" Mick continued to explore, smirking at the sight of Dixie so scared and vulnerable.

"Please stop" Dixie managed to stammer weakly, making Mick laugh more.

"Why?" Mick continued on feeling places he shouldn't, until the door barged open. Revealing a very angry Jeff, he felt sick at what he was seeing and wanted to stay far away but he had to be there to protect Dixie.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Jeff stormed over, pushing Mick off of Dixie, standing in front of her and shielding her from any danger.

"Don't act like you didn't want her getting hurt, you were the one who let her down"

"Now why don't you go, and let me get on with what I was doing" Mick added, making Dixie scared that Jeff was going to leave her.

"You are going nowhere near her" Jeff was trying to contain himself but this was very difficult.

"Come on Jeff, you know you want me to hurt her, she deserves it" Mick smirked, Jeff had his fists clenched, everything happening so fast, his fist had suddenly felt hard impact as it hit Micks nose the ambulance bay filled with the sound of a sickening crunch as his nose broke.

"How does it feel Jeff, knowing the whole time she was telling the truth. I was thinking all that time, I should have left her in that building, but then once I found out the news it was great because you killed her for me, and I wouldn't have to try anymore" Jeff felt his blood boil, unable to stop himself from punching him until he lay on the floor, and then started to kick him in the stomach.

"JEFF!" Tamzin rushed in, pulling Jeff off Mick who was lying on the ground holding his stomach.

"It wasn't that hard to threaten you with the gun either was it Tamzin" Mick looked to Tamzin with an evil glint in his eyes, making her realise it wasn't a dream Mick really did threaten her with the gun, but she still couldn't remember much else, she still kept a tight grip on Jeff from behind.

"Yes that is right Tamzin, it was all true I thought if I left you by one of the ambulances anybody who found you would just think you collapsed" Jeff could feel Tamzin shaking from holding him behind, not only couldn't he protect Dixie he couldn't protect Tamzin either, he felt completely useless.

"WHAT HAS EITHER OF THEM DONE TO YOU?" Jeff roared, not understanding how somebody was hurting two completely innocent people.

"Well for one, she is a little cow, and that worthless lesbo deserves to die, like she should have done in the first place she obviously didn't try hard enough" Mick wiped the blood away from his bleeding nose, and then his cut lip. Jeff easily found himself out of Tamzin's grasp in his new anger of what he had just said, allowing him to get in a few more good punches. Tamzin soon pulled him back off, and he went to where Dixie was standing watching on shocked and scared as to what had happened.

Tom came rushing in, as he was asked to come and find Jeff and Dixie, for a reason he had now forgot as he saw what he did.

"Jeff what the hell have you done" He questioned, bending down to help Mick who was on the floor bleeding.

"Well maybe if he wasn't grooming my wife, he wouldn't have ended up with a broken nose" Jeff spat, taking hold of Dixie's hand tight still slightly in front of her.

"He what…" Tom stopped helping Mick up, staring at each one of them.

"Yeah that's right, he groomed Dixie twice, beat her in a building leaving her to die, abandoned her again, held her as well as Tamzin at gunpoint both on separate occasions!" Jeff raised his voice again, he was now in front of Tamzin too, not wanting either of the woman in the room to be hurt as he had already let both of them down.

"We need to take him to the ED, to be checked over, then we will contact the police" Tom helped Mick up, but wasn't being gentle by all means. Jeff watched as Tom lead him away, then turned his attention to Dixie.

"Princess are you ok?" He went closer to her, until his hands were either side of her face.

"I think so" Dixie replied shakily feeling more comfortable when she was in Jeff's arms.

"What about you Tamzin?" He remembered Tamzin was in the room, and now realised it was Mick who knocked her out, putting her behind the ambulance so she would think she passed out.

She nodded, trying to remember what had happened after being threatened, she could remember pain in her head so moved her hand there feeling a lump. Jeff looked on with concern

"What is it?" He moved from Dixie to Tamzin, placing his hand were Tamzin had put hers feeling a lump amongst her hair.

"That is quite a bit of a bump there Tamzin, you haven't been sick have you?"

"No I haven't" Tamzin replied, moving Jeff's hand away from her head.

"Please let me know if you have been" Jeff was worried she had already been sick, but she didn't look pale, it was just the lump on the back of her head that was causing him concern.

"Yeah I will" Tamzin assured as Dixie came forward moving herself into Jeff's arms, this is the only way she felt safe.

"It's ok Dixie, I'm here" He put his arms around her, feeling her shaking body of fear. He looked to his knuckles which were covered in small grazes and forming bruises.

"Jeff you were never going to leave me right" Dixie wasn't sure what he was going to do when Mick wanted Jeff to leave her with him.

"Never, not for a single second" Jeff wasn't going to leave her with him, as he knew what the outcome would be, and it wouldn't be something he wanted to happen.

"Do you believe me now?" Dixie asked still with fear.

"Yeah, yeah I do princess" Jeff held her close kissing her head, feeling terrible that he didn't believe what she said, but now he knew what Mick had been doing, and he wasn't going to let him get away with it.


	32. Chapter 32

**This chapter focuses on Dixie's POV on things, starting from when she woke up in hospital, and Jeff wasn't there, and explains how she feels about what has happened.**

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Dixie POV

Noise was suddenly becoming apparent around me, my body was feeling heavy I plucked up the courage to open my eyes and see what was going on. When I did I quickly closed them, letting my eyes adjust to the light slowly, once closing them I heard a voice, which seemed to be echoing.

"Dixie, Dixie can you hear me?"

"Ok I need you to open your eyes for me" I reopened my eyes, the light was darker now making it less straining for my eyes to open. Zoey was above me shinning a pen light into my eyes, making me groan and shut them again.

"Sorry Dixie, just needed to assess your pupils" I nodded in response opening my eyes for a third time, everything coming into focus I was in a hospital bed I looked around expecting to see Jeff but nothing.

"Where is Jeff?" I asked realising my voice was whispering, and I had to use up a large amount of energy to make myself heard.

"He left a while ago" I was confused as another voice was being added to the conversation; I could tell it was Tamzin.

"Tamzin?" I questioned.

"Yeah I'm here,"

"Why did Jeff go?"

"He said you were attention seeking, he said some things he really shouldn't have Dix"

"What?" I wanted to know what he had been saying, how he felt about me.

"I…"

"Tamzin what did he say?" I asked again, cutting her off.

The next thing what Tamzin said broke my heart, Jeff really did hate me saying that I realised what I was and that is why I did it, he couldn't have been more wrong.

"If he thinks I'm worth being dead, then tell him I am" I snapped before thinking, but the more I thought about it the more the idea grew to me, would he regret treating me badly, regret not believing me, or would he continue his life like I never existed?

"Dixie are you sure…"

"I want to see how he copes, if he will care" I felt empty I really was nothing without Jeff, I couldn't do anything without him. I wondered how he felt about me? Would he be able to move on with his life without me?

Over the next few hours my plan was put into action, I had been transferred to a ward upstairs and everyone in the ED had agreed to keep their mouths shut. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but it was the only way I was going to learn how he would cope.

"Tamzin I'm scared"

"Scared about what?"

"How Jeff will cope, I'm scared that he won't care, then what will I do?"

"I don't know"

"I would do anything for that man, but I don't think he feels the same way about me anymore" I expressed my feelings towards Tamzin, feeling rejected and lonely I had everyone in the ED on my side, but the only person I needed was against me.

I love Jeff more than anything or anyone, but he didn't love me anymore he happily showed me this by hitting me, and calling me worthless.

During my little experiment, I found out Jeff had already slept with another woman, I know our marriage was open but I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt by his actions. I stayed with Tamzin, I did like Tamzin and her house was lovely, but it wasn't the same I wanted to be with Jeff but he didn't want me, he was happy with complete strangers as long as they were younger and had a better body.

I did phone the house a few times, just to hear Jeff's voice even if he was ranting about how teenagers should have better things to do than prank call random numbers, if only he knew who it really was, he probably wouldn't answer it.

I was bored just sitting around doing nothing all day, daytime telly never really interested me, so I would clean this was the only way I could pass the time of the day. Tamzin tried to make me stop, saying I needed rest, but lying on the sofa doing nothing all day didn't exactly appeal to me. When cleaning, I had time to remember many memories from me and Jeff in happier times. Our wedding, the first time we met, which I thought he was an arrogant sod at first but that just goes to show that first impressions can be deceiving.

I quickly felt the effects of being without Jeff, I couldn't handle it anymore emotionally or physically. I left the house, and went to my own, I still had a key so I let myself in. When I did, everything was quiet so I knew Jeff wasn't in, I went into the kitchen opening the fridge finding next to nothing, although my bar of chocolate was still in there, I smiled as Jeff hadn't touched it I took a few pieces putting them into my mouth enjoying the sweet taste.

Jeff didn't take long to arrive home, when he did I listened to everything he said for some reason Tamzin was with him, I couldn't bear him beating himself up any longer so I blew my cover by talking. At first he thought I was a hallucination, that night was comforting Jeff allowed me to sleep in his arms, at first he was going into his own room, but I spent so much time away from him I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Jeff didn't let me out of his sight, he made me warm drinks but I could tell from his eyes he still didn't believe me, this was until he walked in on Mick doing what he was doing. I didn't notice the door bursting open at first, I was too lost in trying to imagine myself somewhere else. Jeff got him off me, but I wasn't expecting him to hit him. I did feel safe with Jeff being there, I must admit the crunch of Mick's noise breaking made my stomach churn. Tamzin got him off, then Mick admitted holding her at gunpoint too, once Mick was taken away to be looked at Jeff paid his attention to me.

"Do you believe me now" I asked, even though there was no way he could deny it.

"Yeah, yeah I do princess" I had been waiting so long to hear those words, and going with Jeff's protective arms wrapping around me, I couldn't feel any safer. I knew he had been stupid in hitting Mick, I was just hoping he wouldn't get in trouble for doing it, I would be lost without him, part of me wanting him to contain himself, but I knew deep down this wasn't going to happen, I was just preying he wouldn't get in trouble, I have only just got him back, I don't want him taken away from me again.


	33. Chapter 33

Jeff took Dixie home, she went into the bathroom having a shower she was up there for quite some time, but Jeff knew she would want to scrub his touch away. The thought of him touching her like that made him sick, seeing his hand up her top was a sight he wanted to get out of his mind. He shuddered as he remembered it, but looking to his grazed knuckles not sure how he was feeling, realising how stupid he was for not containing himself, but he wasn't going to let Mick get away with it.

Hearing the shower turn off, he put on the kettle making some drinks. While she was in the shower he brought in her belongings from the car, the bags were now scattered around the living room being sniffed by little abs. Jeff chuckled then took the mug upstairs, catching Dixie as she came out of the shower wrapped in a towel, frowning as her the top part of her chest was red raw he was certain there was no skin left.

"Oh Dixie" he said sympathetically not moving his eyes from her sore chest.

"It's fine" She tried to brush away his concern but it wasn't working.

"It's not fine you have taken all your skin off" Jeff traced his hands over her skin, watching her eyes water showing she was in pain, making him move his hand.

"Only the parts where he…" Her voice trailed off, as she entered her room being followed by Jeff, who placed a mug of hot tea on the side.

"I can still feel him Jeff, feel him on me" Dixie continued, making Jeff's eyes water.

"I'm sorry Dix" He rubbed away her tears, feeling bad that he left her with him, he should have stayed with her then this wouldn't have happened, but he still would be questioning whether to believe her or not.

"Sorry for what, not believing, wishing me dead, hitting me, or are you sorry for cheating. I know it is an open marriage, but I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt"

"Everything, I'm sorry for everything. That woman was a mistake," He knew that after having sex with her, it should have been Dixie he was making love to not a random girl he met in the pub.

"Am I a mistake?" She asked, looking into his eyes.

"No, god no Dixie, you were never a mistake" Jeff held her in his arms, kissing her head which was still damp from coming out of the shower.

"How's about I find you some pyjamas?" Jeff asked knowing she must be cold just standing there in a towel, she nodded and sat on the bed. He went down the stairs, searching through the bags so he could find some warm pyjamas for Dixie. While she was upstairs, drinking her tea to keep herself occupied while waiting for Jeff.

Once finding them, he went back to Dixie's room giving her them as she dropped the towel he bit his lip seeing her chest was red raw, bleeding in parts. She put them on, then went to Jeff hugging him.

"Come on let's get your hair dry then princess" Jeff led her down the stairs where he sat her on the sofa plugging in the dryer, and began to dry her hair so she didn't get a cold. Ruffling her hair as he dried it, he could feel the softness from the conditioner; he never thought he would be smiling as he dried a woman's hair. After he even gave it a brush, being careful as to not pull on her hair as he got rid of the knots while Dixie sat, enjoying the feeling of Jeff brushing her hair.

"All done princess" He kissed her head lightly then sat next to her on the sofa, putting his arm around her.

"You didn't have to do that Jeff" She looked up to him, it felt strange having somebody else do her hair.

"I should be doing a lot more"

"You don't need to do anything" Dixie stretched her legs over Jeff making herself comfy.

"Yes I do" Jeff put his hand on her foot, moving it in between each toe.

"That feels nice" She felt herself relaxing as Jeff rubbed her toes.

"What?" Jeff asked wondering what he was doing, she pointed to her feet which he was unknowingly massaging each toe.

"Oh" Jeff paid more attention to what he was doing, taking his time to rub each toe then the rest of her foot. He continued doing this for half an hour, until he head Dixie's stomach rumble.

"You hungry Princess?" He asked, not wanting Dixie to be starving herself.

"Yeah a little" Dixie rubbed her tummy, trying to remember the last time she ate.

"What do you fancy then?"

"A slice of toast will be fine"

"Well I want you to experience more than fine, so you tell me Princess what will make you have a fantastic meal" Jeff wanted her to be happy, and he was using every opportunity to try and make up for what he had done.

"Could we have Chinese…?" Dixie was always wary of asking for Chinese, as Jeff preferred Indian and it often ended in an argument of what meal they would be having.

"Of course we can, and there might even be some chocolate in the fridge waiting to for someone special" Dixie's eyes lit up a little, they only had to wait a short while for their Chinese to arrive. Jeff paid for it, then dished it out on the trays so they could eat in front of the television. Dixie ate it gratefully, then tried to get up to take the tray to the kitchen but was beaten by Jeff who took it off her, pushing her gently back down on the sofa.

When he came back in, he handed her a large bar of Cadbury's then sat next to her.

"When you were with the other woman, what were you thinking?" Dixie asked, Jeff didn't expect this, but he was going to have to answer truthfully.

"That it should have been you" Jeff replied biting his tongue after, wondering how Dixie would react after all she was a lesbian, and he had just admitted that he wanted to have sex with her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I feel so guilty I shouldn't have done it" Jeff looked to the floor, hanging his head in shame before continuing to speak with tears filling his eyes.

"I can still see you Dixie, on the floor looking at me. Scared, frightened… and I left you" He couldn't stop himself breaking down in tears he had done so many bad things to Dixie, that he was sure she wouldn't forgive him.

Dixie put her arms around him, hugging the crying man.

"I should have told you about Mick, Jeff It was my fault" Dixie kissed him on the head, feeling like all the blame should be pinned on her.

"You shouldn't have had to tell me Dixie, normally I can read you like a book. So why couldn't I this time?" Jeff questioned himself feeling useless as a husband, as a friend.

"Because I was hiding it away, my Mum threw me out for lying, I didn't want you doing the same" Dixie continued to hold him, but he found enough strength to hold her back so they were in the support of each other's embrace.

"And I let you down, I'm sorry… I understand if you don't forgive me, but I am begging you Dix please give me a final chance" He moved his gaze into Dixie's eyes, he could tell from her expression she was thinking, but he didn't know what.


	34. Chapter 34

Dixie held Jeff for a while, as he gazed into her eyes she knew what she was going to say even before he asked the question.

"I forgive you" Dixie said, watching a smile grow on Jeff's face.

"You mean it?" He asked, not wanting her to forgive him so easily.

"Yes I mean it, but please don't leave me again" Dixie admitted never wanting to be without Jeff, she was nothing but an empty shell without him.

"I promise" Jeff was so thankful he had Dixie, she was so kind and forgiving he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness but he still got it. He moved himself up to hold Dixie tight, he was so glad he met her she was his life.

"I would do anything for you Jeff" Dixie said, still feeling safe in his grasp.

"I know, and I should have been there for you"

"What did he do to you?" Jeff asked, in the letter things were explained very little, and he wanted to know what Dixie had been through, most importantly what she had been through alone.

"Do you really want to know?" Dixie wasn't sure he was ready to know, but he continued insisting.

"It started when I was in year 11, starting with him calling me names I could handle it but then it got to the last day. He followed me home, pushing me to the floor and kicking my chest I had two broken ribs and still my mother didn't believe me." Jeff had to shake his head to get the image of Dixie lying on the floor out of his mind.

"What happened when he came to holby, here I mean" Jeff asked holding Dixie tight, knowing it was hurting her telling him what happened but he wanted to know.

"On the first day I tried to avoid him, but then he wanted to work with you. I said I would see if it worked on the rota's but he was having none of it, he pinned me against the wall threatening me. After he worked with you, he befriended you I won't lie I felt left out like you were slowly drifting away from me" Dixie took a long breath wiping away her tears then continuing to explain.

"You made me work a shift with him, he was scaring me so I asked you to swap, but you didn't. When it came to the end of the shift he drove to the warehouse, I was going to radio for help but he took the radio from me, dragging me into the warehouse. He hit me a few times, broke my wrist by twisting it, I remember falling to the ground the next thing I woke up in the hospital" Jeff had tears in his eyes by this point, carefully listening to everything Dixie had gone through.

"Going back to work I found out he took my job, my next shift with him was scary. He came in the back of the ambulance with me, pushing me to the wall and starting to touch me, I was so scared Jeff…" Her voice broke down, and she was in tears Jeff had never seen her so vulnerable so open and weak.

"It's ok princess, you're safe now" Jeff kissed her head lightly, he was never going to let her out of his sight the shifts were going to be him and her, he didn't want her with anybody else.

"There was a shout so he stopped, but when we got to the shout it was a building really dusty, he took my inhaler he came back pulling me out ten minutes later. The same day he threatened me with a gun, the shot missed my stomach I wanted to tell you Jeff…"

"You shouldn't have had to tell me, I should have figured things out for myself"

"I felt so alone, he took you away I can't be without you Jeff."

"You don't have to be without me" Jeff assured certain he was never going to leave her again.

"I only knew one way out, like I said before Jeff I would do anything for you and you wished me dead"

"I'm so sorry Dix, I didn't mean for it to end that way"

"Did you mean what you said?" Dixie asked, getting a rather confused look from Jeff.

"What did I say?" he asked a little confused.

"That when you were having sex with another woman, you thought it should have been me"

"Why, have I upset you?" Jeff cursed to himself and putting his foot in his mouth at what he said, feeling stupid, it was the truth but he didn't want Dixie to find out.

"No, it's just"

"Just what princess?" Jeff asked but not expecting what happened next, Dixie gave him a soft kiss on the lips and he found himself kissing her back.

"What was that?" Jeff asked sweetly not sure where this put them friendship wise, as kissing your bestfriend isn't exactly something normal people would do, but then again who said him and Dix were normal.

"Just testing something" Dixie responded, falling onto his chest feeling safe as he started to twirl her hair.

"He will go to prison for what he has done Dix, I promise you" he gave one of her toes a tight squeeze making her giggle, something he was treasuring at this moment in time.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep Jeffrey" Dixie replied sweetly, keeping her head rested on his chest, his hand reached down to her feet gently rubbing each toe like he had done before, while the other hand was around Dixie protectively, feeling her warmth.

"Trust me Dix, I will make sure he pays for what he has done to you" Jeff could feel himself getting angry, but Dixie lying so peacfully on him calmed him down a little, but he was going to make sure Mick paid for hurting his Dixie, that is who she was his Dixie, his princess and he was going to make sure she was never hurt again.


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you to Beethoven, who helped me with ideas for this chap, sorry it is a little short though xxxxx**

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The pair of them woke up by the phone ringing, Dixie was still in Jeff's arms waking from her slumber as was Jeff. Jeff moved his arms from Dixie, allowing her to get up to get the phone, Jeff watched her face drain from colour, her eyes watering.

"Princess what is it?" Jeff asked getting up and standing opposite Dixie,

"No you can't, I didn't" Dixie was pleading on the phone with the trust, they had suspended her as Mick had put in a complaint.

"Dix what is it?" Jeff asked noticing her obvious distress.

"You know that bloke I took in, the one that died from the overdose"

"Yeah" He replied not sure where this was going, but putting his hands on Dixie's waist.

"Mick has reported me in, saying I didn't give him the right treatment and that I kicked off with Mick and hit him. Then he said I tried to kill myself, and he called me mentally unfit. The trust have suspended me" Dixie felt herself drain, first she was demoted because of him and now she could lose her job because of him.

"What, that is utter crap" He felt himself getting angry, in no way was it Dixie's fault the addict died and she was too kind to lay a finger on anybody even after what he had done to her.

"Maybe I could have done…"

"Dix there was nothing you could have done for him, and as for you hitting Mick I know for a fact you didn't touch him" Jeff pulled her in for a hug as she stood there looking motionless and empty.

"How long are you suspended for?" He asked still hugging and holding her tight.

"I don't know, they said they are going to call a meeting to question my capability as a paramedic"

"Oh Dixie" Jeff rubbed away her tears, knowing how much she loved her job of helping people. That she would go mental with doing nothing all day, she was bad enough at weekends.

"I'm not going to get my job back am I?" Dixie sniffed into Jeff's chest.

"Of course you will get your job back, you are a brilliant paramedic and you know it" Jeff was annoyed at Mick's stupid allegations all of them were false in no way was Dixie mentally unfit, and if she was it would be down to Mick anyway.

"I don't feel like it anymore"

"Now you listen to me princess, you are the best paramedic I have ever met and I have met a lot of paramedics in my time" He looked into her eyes, as she gave him a little smile.

"Given your age that doesn't surprise me" Dixie managed a small joke making the pair chuckle, he kissed her head lightly.

"I love you Dix"

"I love you too Jeffrey" They were startled by the door starting to bang repeatedly, Dixie became scared looking to Jeff to feel safety.

"POLICE OPEN UP" Jeff went over to the door, pulling it open with a great amount of force.

"Mr Collier?"

"Yes" Jeff spat back, annoyed by the way they had been banging on his door, when it was just breaking dawn.

"Jeffrey Collier, you are under arrest on suspicion of assaulting Mr Mick Williams, you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be given as evidence that you may later rely on in court. Do you understand?" Jeff stood in shock at what was happening, but he was soon in handcuffs being taken into a police car, he looked to Dixie who was in the doorway crying. He mouthed to her 'Sorry' before the car took off, the last sight him having of Dixie in the doorway of the house crying.

Dixie shut the door turning to the empty house, she couldn't stand being alone it was so quiet. She had a feeling Jeff would get in trouble for what he had done, but she was hoping Mick wouldn't report him. Looking around the house she felt alone and frightened, in Mick's words mentally unstable, she waited for an hour hoping Jeff would come back but he didn't.

She got fed up, grabbing her jacket from the banister and leaving the house she went to the ambulance bay, to ask why Mick had reported Jeff. When she arrived she went outside his office slowly then plucking up the courage to open the door, she opened it looking at Mick who was sat behind the desk looking rather smug.

"Hello Dixie, so how are you then?" He didn't look up at Dixie just looked to the computer screen, tapping away at the keyboard.

"I don't want to play mind games, why did you report Jeff?" She closed the door behind her folding her arms, trying to make herself appear strong, but deep down she was the same frightened 16 year old girl.

"He really means a lot to you doesn't he" He smiled to himself, knowing he had taken something precious away from Dixie.

"Yes, and I want to know why you reported him"

"Because he beat me up" Mick pointed to his face which was bruised with small cuts and grazes.

"What do I need to do to make you drop the charges?" Dixie asked knowing there would be something he wanted from didn't care about her being suspended but she needed Jeff back, and was willing to do anything to get him back.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I will do anything you want as long as you drop the charges against Jeff" She went towards the desk, looking at his shocked expression.

"Anything?" Mick asked moving himself closer to Dixie, waiting for a reply. He began stroking her hair, making Dixie shiver but she needed Jeff back.

"Anything…." He smiled at her answer thinking of how he could use this to his advantage.


	36. Chapter 36

**A big thanks to BeethovenRIP, who gave me most of this chapter xxx**

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Jeff sat alone in the holding cell wondering what was going on banging his head on the wall for being stupid, he had been interviewed by the police where he admitted to hitting Mick. Jeff replayed in his mind the part where he told them why, even he had to admit it sounded like he had made it up, but, he hoped they would believe him. He closed his eyes taking himself back to what had happened in the interview room.

_"So you admit to assaulting Mr Williams then?" The officer kept asking the same questions over and over, making Jeff feel annoyed at this wasting of his time.  
"I have just told you that I do."  
"According to Mr Williams, your attack on him was totally unprovoked, he doesn't know why you did it."  
"Are you joking me? Seriously he said that?" Jeff responded, he was getting cross with the whole situation, he wanted to be with Dixie but yet he was stuck here saying he had hit Mick unprovocked, when he was touching Dixie inappropriatly in front of him. Jeff wondered what the officer would have done if he was put in his situation, watching his wife being groomed in front of him.  
"Mr Collier, this is a very serious incident and we would like to remind you that anything you say here will be used in evidence"  
"I know that, you keep on telling me that" he muttered, fiddling with his thumbs under the table.  
"Mr Collier, for the second time, why did you attack Mr Williams?" The police Officer sat back in his chair eyeing Jeff waiting for his reply.  
"He was grooming my wife" Jeff snapped, thinking this was a perfectly valid reason to hit Mick, how was he meant to let him get of scot free, after touching Dixie right in front of him.  
"That is a serious allegation to make Mr Collier, can I remind you that if this turns out to be a false accusation, you will be charged with perverting the course of justice"  
"I am not lying, you can ask my wife. I saw him holding her against a wall, hand over her mouth while the other was up her top touching her breasts. I stormed in, he told me to go away and to leave him to get on with it. I couldn't, I just had to get him off her, she was so scared" Jeff had tears forming in his eyes as he thought back to the sight he saw, he never wanted to see it again. His mind traced back to all the cruel things Mick did to Dixie, all the things she had been through alone suffering all those months without his help or support. Guilt filled him, he had let Dixie down big time and him being here instead of being with her, wasn't good.  
"Go on Mr Collier" The officer looked interested in what he had to say, but Jeff could see already that he didn't believe him.  
"He bullied her when she was at school, since he has been working with us at the Trust, he has beaten her up, left her for dead, held her at gunpoint and touched her inappropriately multiple times. I know it sounds like I am making it up, but I am not, Dix was, well, still is really scared and every moment I am stuck in here with you I am not with her. I need to be with her" The officer just looked at him, Jeff's pleading to be allowed home with Dixie was dismissed and he was led back to his cell.  
_  
Jeff slammed his fists down on the plastic mattress in frustration, he had been in custody all morning, he had had enough, he wanted out, wanted to be with Dixie, wanted to protect her. The thought of her being without him all morning was worrying him, was she ok? Had she remembered to eat? A million other questions were racing through his mind but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answers to them.

He knew the police would have to investigate his accusations but, deep down he knew Mick was an accomplished liar, if he could turn Jeff away from Dixie, he could turn the police on a different trail very easily. Jeff remembered how he turned against Dixie, his wife, his best friend. Many thought his bond with Dixie was unbreakable, but Mick had really tested this statement. Jeff was glad he had his Dixie back, and he didn't want to lose her again.

Unbeknownst to Jeff, back at the Ambulance Station, things were unfolding that would make him cringe and his blood boil. Dixie stood in front of Mick as he continued to stroke her hair and face. She visibly flinched with every touch, but she said she would do anything and she really meant anything. She wanted Jeff back, needed him back she had no idea of what he would be looking at if Mick didn't drop the charges. She wouldn't be able to cope with him being in prison, she couldn't lose him not now.

"You said you would do anything" Mick said as he moved his lips closer to Dixie's neck, she could feel him breathing on her skin, is made her blood run cold, but she closed her eyes trying to imagine it was Jeff who was getting this close to her, not Mick. This was becoming hard, even harder as Mick moved his lips so they were touching her neck placing one of his hands on her hip.

"Yeah, I would" Dixie replied in barely a whisper, fear taking over.

"It is time I taught a filthy Lesbo like you a lesson, one you will never ever forget" Mick was making it known to Dixie that he was now in charge, she had willingly consented to him doing anything to her, whatever he did it didn't matter anymore, she had consented he could use that against her. He was smart, and knew Dixie had no way to defend herself now.

He continued to get closer, Dixie felt his lips touch her neck as he kissed it while moving his hand over her chest once more. Dixie took in a deep breath, closing her eyes trying to convince herself she was at home, in her bedroom with Jeff. She tried to picture him in front of her, touching and kissing her, but it wasn't working. She found strength in her to push Mick away,

"Oh no, you don't want to be doing that now do you Kathleen" Mick said as he came towards her once more, he wasn't going to let her get away that easy. Dixie backed away, her eyes moving cautiously over him.

"I am not going to let you do anything, until you have done something for me" Dixie found the strength to speak, make her point clear she was only doing this if it guaranteed Jeff would be coming home.

"Like I am going to let you tell me what to do" Mick was getting annoyed with her now, she had consented and he already knew what he was going to do.

"I said I would do anything, and I will. You know how much Jeff means to me, you have tried to tear us apart and have failed. I want you to call the Police right now and drop the charges, then I will do anything you want" Dixie couldn't believe were she found this new strength, but all the time she had it, she was going to use it. She knew something would happen to her that deep down she didn't want to happen, but if it meant she got Jeff back she would do anything.

"OK, well if we are going to play games Kathleen, I am going to want a little something first just to make sure" Mick edged closer to Dixie who was backing away even more, before she could get any further away, he grabbed her hair tugging it tightly making her scream out in pain before he slammed her down into the chair holding her there as he held her by the throat moving his hand up her leg slowly stopping just before the top. Dixie was scared, but she tried hard not to show it she knew he would want to see her frightened and scared, she tried not to give him the satisfaction.

Mick could see from her face that she was in hell, this made him smile, he was going to enjoy taking everything from her knowing how desperate she was to get Jeff back.

"Right Mr Collier, you are free to go" The custody sergeant said as he opened the cell door then led Jeff back to reception, where his keys and wallet was handed to him in a plastic sleeve.  
"What? Why?" Jeff gratefully took his possessions back but was unsure as to what was going on, one minute he was being charged with assault, now he was being released.  
"Mr Williams has contacted us, he wishes to drop the charges against you. He has decided to refer it to the Ambulance Trust instead, so, as I said, you are free to go" He showed Jeff the door, he nodded at the Policeman before he made his way out of the station to start his walk home.

As the mid-afternoon air hit him, he began to wonder what happened for Mick to change his mind, whatever it was couldn't be good. After everything he had done to Dixie, Jeff knew deep down that this wasn't going to be the end of it. Mick had to want something in return, he just hoped it wouldn't involve Dixie. He had already done so much to hurt her, he just hoped Mick was only trying to hurt him now, but something told him that Mick wasn't done with Dixie.

Jeff sped up his walking pace, wanting to get home to Dixie and hold her in his arms.  
He eventually got home putting his key in the lock opening the front door.  
"Dix? Are you here babe?" He called noticing she wasn't in the living room, where he thought she would be.  
"Jeffrey? Is that you?" He could tell something was wrong from her voice, her voice was shaky and more quiet than usual.

"Yeah where are you Princess?" Jeff asked looking around for Dixie. She appeared in the doorway and ran straight into Jeff's arms feeling his warmth, unlike what she had recently experienced. Jeff had his arms in a lock around her tightly, noticing that her hair was wet and she was shaking uncontrollably in his arms. He stroked her damp hair in attempt to calm her down, kissing her head softly and beginning to feel bad about being in the station when he should have been with Dixie.

"What is it Babe? Has he done anything to you?" Jeff asked in a rush looking at the state of his wife in his arms, he knew something had happened and he knew who was behind it.

"Christ Dixie, what has he done to you?" Jeff had obvious worry and concern in his voice as he moved Dixie from his arms to looking into her eyes. He took in the sight of her, the pale complexion and most of her skin was red raw the sight making his eyes water. He moved his hands from her bare skin, knowing it must have stung as he could see layers of her skin worn away now looking red and irritable. He then saw the purple brusing that was beggining to form at the top of her chest and around her wrists, making Jeff feel sick.

"I am sorry Jeff, I didn't know what else to do. I am sorry. I didn't want to lose you, I cannot lose you. I am really sorry. Please forgive me Jeff, please" She said hastily trying to get all the words out at once, Dixie continued to sob in front of Jeff who was now beside himself with worry, millions of thoughts racing through his mind and none of them good. He moved some of her damp hair from her eyes, and looking into them they had tears streaming from them, and she was breathing quickly obviously in a state of panic.

"Princess, please calm down and tell me. What are you sorry for?"


	37. Chapter 37

Jeff was more worried as Dixie wasn't calming down, he put his hand to her damp hair, then pulled her close to him again. He held her this way for a few minutes, noticing it was calming her down when he held her.

Dixie felt safe again with Jeff back, her mind traced itself back to when she was in the office with Mick.

_Mick kept his hand at the top of Dixie's leg, rubbing it making Dixie shiver with fear. She continued to imagine it was Jeff, but it was no good, his touch was too cold to hard and venomous. _

_"I want you to call the police, and drop the charges. Then you can have me" Dixie found her strength again, she didn't care what she had to do to get Jeff back, because she needed him. Mick smiled to himself, if she wanted him to phone the police he would, well, he would tell her he would, but he wanted something from her first, a little bit of leverage._

_"Like I said, I will be needing something first. Call it a pre-payment" Mick kept one hand at the top of her leg, the other was still at her throat. Dixie took a deep breath as his hand moved to the bottom of her stomach, unbuttoning her Jeans then slipping his hand in. She gasped feeling the sudden sharp pain that was burning inside her, the expression of her being hurt and scared made Mick smile. Dixie continued to feel this pain, for a few minutes until Mick spoke._

_"There we go, that wasn't so hard was it" Mick moved his hand, and picked up the phone. Dixie watched him dial unable to speak, then she found the courage from somewhere._

_"Speaker"_

_"What?" Mick snapped, making Dixie jump, but she was holding on to the small amount of courage and strength she had._

_"I want to hear, so put it on speaker" Dixie wanted to know he had rung the right number, and that he was going to keep his word. She heard him mutter something under his breath, slamming down some buttons and putting it onto speaker. Giving Dixie a harsh glare, he never intended on doing this, the plan was to call a random number, but if she wanted it on speaker she could have it on speaker, he would have his fun after._

_"Hello Holby Police station, how can I help?"  
"I would like to take back an allegation" Mick replied, as Dixie was sat waiting thinking of what he was going to do to her.  
"Ok, what it your name and the allegation you have made?" they could hear the sound of the receptionist tapping away at a computer.  
"My name is Mick Williams, and I have reported Jeffrey Collier for assaulting me"  
"And you would like to drop the charges is this correct?"  
"Yes. Yes you are correct"  
"May I ask why?"  
"I will get in touch with you about that one" Mick responded, keeping a close eye on Dixie who was holding her breath, listening carefully.  
"Ok as long as you are sure" the receptionist sounded a little uncertain.  
"Yes. I am sure" Mick put down the phone, then moved his attention to Dixie._

_"There, that is my part of the agreement, now it is time for yours" He pulled Dixie up by her waist, pushing her against the wall holding her there by pushing himself against her, holding her wrists tightly either side of her head. _

_She could feel her heart beat rapidly increase, closing her eyes trying to imagine it was Jeff, but again it was too hard, the way he was holding her, the way his hand felt it was nothing like Jeff's touch. Dixie could feel herself flinch at every time his skin meet hers, she could then hear him chuckle next to her ear while breathing down her neck. Before placing kisses up and down her neck, trying to convince herself this was Jeff but her body knew Jeff to well, to know these wern't his lips on her neck._

_"Now, I want you to stay nice and still" Dixie obeyed, knowing she couldn't move if she tried. Once again his hand slipped in her unbuttoned Jeans, history repeating itself the burning feeling of feeling part of him inside her, made Dixie feel sick. Hearing him moan next to her ear, gave her some strength as the feeling was making her feel sick. Dixie found the strength to push him away, he watched on looking at Dixie angrily._

_"What was that for Kathleen?"  
"Jeff is out, I can leave and he will still come home"  
"I can make your whole world crash around you" he gave Dixie a menacing grin. Dixie ignored him, making her way to the door while she still could, not saying anything as his eyes continued to dart across her body. Dixie found her back against the door, she moved her shaking hand to the handle opening it, nearly falling out.  
"Oh and Kathleen, you didn't make any agreement with me about not reporting him to the trust" she froze, thinking of what would happen to Jeff if Mick reported him to the trust. Ignoring his comment, she wanted to get as much distance from him as possible, wanting to feel the comforts of being in her own home. Have a shower to srub his touch off her._

Dixie embedded herself into Jeff, feeling the safety that he provided.

"Jeff I'm sorry, please…I didn't…."  
"Babe, please calm down" Jeff stroked her hair, begging for her to calm down so she could explain to him what had happened.  
"Princess, what did he do to you?" He asked with tears in his eyes, feeling guilty for being in a cell, while something had happened to Dixie, he should have been there to protect her.  
"I….I…" Dixie couldn't explain, she didn't know how to. Jeff led her to the sofa, sitting down with her next to him, he put his arms around her, resting her head on his chest, he played with her hair and could see a clump was missing from the back of her head.

"Dixie what has he done to you?" He was feeling sick, sick at the thought of what Mick had done to his Dixie.  
"Did he. Oh god Dix, please tell me he didn't" Jeff asked not sure if he wanted to know the response he would get from Dixie, Dixie shock her head he didn't know if this was good or bad.  
"I'm sorry…" Dixie lifted her head looking into his eyes, he wanted to know why she kept apologising.  
"Why do you keep saying sorry"  
"I didn't want him to, but I wanted you to come back"  
"Didn't want him to do what?" Jeff couldn't feel more worried if he tried, wiping Dixie's tears away softly.  
"I said he could do anything…Anything as long as he dropped the charges on you" Jeff held her tighter, knowing she had done something to insure he didn't get charged.  
"What? Dixie you shouldn't have done that"  
"It doesn't matter now, because I didn't do everything what he wanted, now he is going to report you to the trust, that is why I am sorry…Because he is going to report you, then you will lose your Job…" Dixie became hysterical, feeling bad that he could lose his job because of her.  
"Aye, you have nothing to be sorry for, what did he want you to do?" He thought of millions of things Mick would want Dixie to do, all of them were cruel and heartless.  
"He wanted me to sleep with him, I should have done it then he wouldn't have reported you to the trust" Jeff was thinking of what she had said, unable to reply all he could do was hold her tight, he knew that Dixie really would do anything for him.  
"Did he. Did he touch you?" He asked falling tears falling from his eyes, thinking of what Dixie had done to save his back.  
"I couldn't stop him, the feeling was burning inside me. I tried to imagine it was you, but…"  
"I need another bath" Dixie added, trying to make herself feel cleansed from his touch but it wasn't working.  
"Not on your own Princess" Jeff stood up next to her, not wanting her to be alone.  
"What do you mean?" She was a little confused, she wanted to scrub away at her skin to feel clean, it hurt her the way she scrubbed away at her skin, but she didn't want the feeling of Mick on her.  
"I don't want you taking off any more layers of skin, you are already sore" He pointed at her sore skin, and followed her up the stairs holding her hand tightly. Dixie then turned at the top of the stairs, beginning to cry again.

"I really am sorry Jeff, please don't be cross, I tried to help you I really did…"  
"You have nothing to be sorry for Princess, I just feel guilty if I would have contained myself this wouldn't have happened, but I needed to get him off you, you were so scared" He pulled her towards him putting his arms around her tightly, feeling sick about what she had done to make Mick drop the charges. He lifted Dixie's chin so he could see her face. He couldn't believe she offered herself to him, just so he didn't get charged, she really didn't want to be without him and Jeff didn't want to put her in a situation like that again.  
"Now, he isn't going to get away with this. We are going to play him at his own game, when we go to the trust we will exploit him for what the little shit really is" Jeff didn't know how he was going to do this, but the trust needed to see what sort of a man Mick really was, and what he had done his Dixie.


	38. Chapter 38

"Jeffrey what do you mean? How are we supposed to do that?" Dixie asked confused, Jeff just gave her a weak smile and led her into the bathroom, placing her gently on the bathroom floor as he turned the taps on. Watching as the water flowed, trying to think how they were going to do this himself, he added in some vanilla scented bubble bath. He knew one thing for sure, Dixie was his Dixie and he wanted nobody to take her away from him.

"I haven't thought that far myself, but we need to do something Princess he can't continue what he is doing. We need to catch him out, we can build a case against him then take it to the trust and police" Jeff sat beside her, letting her head fall on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, stroking her hair gently.

"He knows what he is doing Jeff, that is why he broke our friendship, he tore us apart. How can we stop him?" Dixie had tears in her eyes at this point, remembering how Mick tore hers and Jeff's friendship to pieces, how she thought she would never get Jeff back, and she was still worried now about Jeff going the same way.

Thankfully Jeff didn't have to reply as the water was nearing the edge of the bath, he got up turning the taps off. Putting his hand in and swirling around the bubbles, making sure it wasn't too hot or wasn't too cold, once he was satisfied with the temperature, he put his arms around Dixie helping her up. He moved the dressing gown from her shoulders, her skin was red and in parts bleeding, he noticed it more as he could see above her vest top, there was no skin left. He sighed feeling his eyes water, seeing the state she had got herself into by scrubbing herself raw.

"What have you done to yourself Dix,"  
"I just need to get the feeling of him off me, can we not do this now" Dixie brushed aside his question, not wanting to answer it.

Jeff managed a small nod, before helping her into the bath, he felt bad as he watched her face scrunch up as her skin touched the water, but after getting used to the feeling she soon relaxed. He placed the fluffy towel on the radiator, this way it would be warm for when she got out. Dixie watched him, while she moved her fingers in patterns around the bubbles, taking in the strong scent of vanilla. When she next looked up, Jeff was sat on the floor next to the bath holding a sponge, looking at her on a serious note.

"Dix if you don't want me to, then say and I will go, I won't touch you if you don't want me too" Jeff didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to.

Dixie nodded for him to go ahead looking into his eyes and managing a small smile, she was thankful he hadn't left her, she lifted up her arm allowing Jeff to dab it with the sponge softly, he was trying to avoid the rawest parts along with the parts that were bleeding. Dixie could notice that he was being gentle and soft, his warm touch was extremely comforting she was glad she allowed him to stay. Her body knew Jeff's touch, and she felt safe with him with her, she felt comfortable with him dabbing the sponge softly across her skin, taking away the feeling of Mick's touch.

The couple remained in their own thoughts, Dixie could feel herself relaxing with Jeff's gentle touch, and the vanilla scented bubbles. The silence was broken by Jeff talking,

"Maybe we should write everything that he has done, but it would have to be everything" Jeff said on a sad note, knowing to go into detail of what happened would be hard for Dixie.

"What do you mean everything?"  
"Start from what he did to you at school, then what he has done to you through work" Jeff replied slowly, continuing to wash her body, he, himself didn't want to admit Mick tore their friendship to pieces but if it helped Dixie, he would do it.

"I'm not sure if I can do that Jeff, is it even going to help?"  
"Yes you can, all we can do is try. I mean if we write about how he attacked you, assaulted you, then drove you to take your own life…" Jeff stopped feeling a lump forming in the back of his throat, remembering all those things Dixie had been through without him, he was swimming in guilt and frustration for not being there for here. Looking to the tiles on the wall he took some deep breaths, trying to stay strong for Dixie but the amount of guilt he had was eating away at him. Dixie saw this, and took hold of his hand holding it tightly, making him look at her.

"What is it Princess?" Jeff asked wiping his tears away with his arm,  
"You can't blame yourself for this" Dixie turned herself on her side, so she was looking into his eyes.  
"I can't help it Dix, I let him break us apart, you tried to kill yourself while thinking I hated you, I'm so pissed off with myself for not seeing what you were going through for myself. He blinded me to you. I...'  
"Jeff, if we are serious on doing this both of us need to remain a sense of composure"  
Jeff nodded in agreement, and moved on to run the sponge across her chest, watching cautiously making sure he wasn't hurting her or making her feel uncomfortable in anyway. Then he thought of something else that would help in their case, but he wasn't sure Dixie was going to approve of it, all he could do was assure her things would be ok.

He decided the bath was getting a little cold now, he stood up getting the towel from the radiator which was now warm. Helping Dixie out and wrapping the towel around her, hoping that after the bath she felt a little better about herself. Guiding her out the bathroom, he placed her gently on the bed then opened one of her draws to find some warm pyjamas.

"Dixie" He asked, placing the pyjamas beside her, it wasn't until he finished helping her into them, that she spoke.  
"Yeah"  
"I have been thinking, maybe we should take some pictures" He got a puzzled look from Dixie so he explained further, "Of the bruising, and your skin" he watched as Dixie shock her head.  
"No Jeff, I can't" she began to weep,  
"It will really help princess, trust me, it will back up what we write. We can get Tamzin to back us up too, she was there when he admitted the things he did, and he did some things to her too" Jeff reasoned, wiping away Dixie's tears, pulling her towards him running his fingers through her hair.

"I'm scared though Jeff, I didn't do what he wanted me too. What is he going to do now?"  
"He probably thinks you haven't told me about what he did, I think I might start playing dumb pretend that I don't know about any of it when I go into work"  
"You're going to work?" Dixie asked, feeling her eyes water and beggining to feel scared about being left alone, but she did have Abs to keep her company.  
"I haven't got a choice princess, I don't think he is going to be willing to pay for holiday leave, I will phone you at every opportunity I get" Jeff looked into her eyes, moving a lock of her hair behind her ear, he felt bad about leaving her but he had no other choice.

"What if he uses this to try and break us up again?" Dixie was becoming worried of losing Jeff again, she didn't want to be without him. Jeff sensed her worry from her voice.  
"We will make him think he has broken us up princess" Jeff assured, while playing with her hair.  
"How? How will we know if he succeeded or not? I don't think I can do this Jeff, I'm scared and it could come back on us" Jeff just held Dixie tighter, sitting themselves down on the bed, he took her hands firmly before explaining how this time would be different.

"It won't be like last time babe, when I come back we can cuddle, talk and I will tell you what I do every evening, that you are beautiful on the inside and out and that nobody is going to take you away from me. I won't let him break us up again" Jeff said all these words while looking into her eyes, he wanted her to know nobody was going to tear them apart again.

"I'm scared, what if he does turn you against me, what if you do end up hating me for what I have done, what if you don't come home, what if…" Jeff heard enough and put his fingers to her lips, stopping her from talking but she looked to him in a worried way, wondering what he was going to say.

"None of that is going to happen, I promise and when I get home from work, the first thing I will do is hold you in my arms, and tell you how much you mean to me, you are the most precious thing in my life I'm never letting you go. I will hold you when you sleep, and I won't let him hurt you again" Jeff ended, half way through talking he pulled Dixie close and he was now kissing her head softly. He wasn't sure how he would be able to contain himself, and act dumb towards Mick the oncoming day, but if he didn't his plan wouldn't work. For now he was focusing on Dixie, stroking her hair and assuring her that he wouldn't leave her, he was glad she let him wash her as her skin was clean and soft, still red from the first time, but it could be worse.

Dixie was sure Jeff would keep his word, she was finding a little courage and strength inside her again. Jeff had made her confident she wasn't going to lose him, and he would only make Mick think their friendship was over, when in reality it wasn't. She was scared of being left alone the next day, but the thing that would keep her going was knowing Jeff would be coming home and the first thing he would do was hold her tightly in his arms.


	39. Chapter 39

It was hard for Jeff, taking photos of Dixie's injuries, but he knew the sooner it was done the better it would be. He took pictures of her wrists, of her chest and stomach, he tried to do it as quickly as he could. Once he was finished Dixie was crying, but her reward was a long comforting hug from Jeff. He decided it would be too hard to try and write everything down in detail, so for now taking the photos was enough.

That night Jeff held Dixie close to him, keeping his word and cradling her in his arms until she fell asleep. He spent the next few moments carefully studying her features, and running his fingers softly through her hair. Noticing she was getting a little cold, he gently pulled the duvet up to her shoulders, Jeff smiled as she snuggled herself into him. Then fell asleep himself, still holding her close.

When Dixie woke up, she woke up in Jeff's arms, she tried to sit herself up without him noticing, but it didn't work as he woke up in her first sign of movement.  
"Good morning princess" Jeff smiled, then kissed Dixie on the forehead gently.  
"Morning Jeff" Dixie couldn't hide the worry of the oncoming day.  
"You ok babe?" He knew something was wrong, and lifted her chin so he could see her face.  
"Just a little scared about today"  
"I told you, he isn't going to break us up again" Jeff was adamant he wasn't going to let this happen, he wasn't going to let anyone rip apart their friendship again.  
"I don't want to lose you Jeff"  
"You're not gonna lose me babe, let's say we go downstairs and get you some breakfast?" Dixie nodded, and they went down the stairs hand in hand, Abs was already awake and tucking into his own food. When he noticed the couple he ran up to them, with his tail wagging, they spent some time fussing over Abs before going into the kitchen.

"What will you be having then my gorgeous princess?" Jeff asked, while Dixie sat herself on the chair, thinking of what she could have for her breakfast.  
"Could I have some toast please Jeff?"  
"Course you can" Jeff put some bread in the toaster, and got out the chocolate spread which Dixie had recently found. Dixie ate the breakfast he made her gratefully, while he watched her take every bite.

Jeff felt guilty leaving her, but if this was going to work he would need to go to the ambulance bay, and pretend like he knew nothing about it. He left to go up the stairs and get ready, while Dixie was downstairs watching something on TV, when he put on his last piece of clothing, he went back down the stairs.

"I'm going now Dix" She turned around from the sofa, seeing Jeff half way down the stairs, feeling her eyes water at the thought of being without him for a day. Jeff saw this, and was by her side in seconds.  
"It will be ok, I promise you I won't let him tear us apart again" he held her close, stroking the back of her hair.  
"Can you just do one thing for me?" Jeff asked, sitting down next to her and taking her hands.  
"What?" Dixie could barely manage a whisper.  
"Could you not have a bath until I get back, I don't want you scrubbing yourself raw again" This was something Jeff was scared off.  
"I just want to feel clean again, I didn't mean too…"  
"I know, and the first thing I do when I come back is run you a bath ok?" Jeff reasoned, moving the stands of hair from her eyes, as she slowly nodded. "I love you Dixie" Jeff added holding her close for a hug goodbye.

Leaving Dixie was hard for him, he wanted to remain by her side and protect her from danger. When he started the drive to work he thought to himself, he wasn't sure how he was going to contain himself from seriously damaging Mick, but he was going to have to Dixie was relying on him to go back to her.

When he arrived, he knocked on the office door, trying to remain calm. He needed to find out who he was working with today, he was hoping it wasn't Mick.  
"Come in" Jeff entered the room, trying to hide his clenched fists.  
"Ah Jeff" Mick typed on the computer, before pointing at the chair indicating for Jeff to sit, he sat biting his tongue to stop himself snapping.  
"I am so sorry about yesterday Jeff" Mick leaned forward in his chair, holding his hands together, Jeff was fighting the temptation of punching him straight in the mouth.  
"It's fine, made a change being in the police station for a Saturday morning" Jeff managed to say through his gritted teeth, he was surprised at how calm Mick was, he had forced himself onto Dixie, and he was sat opposite him acting like nothing had happened.  
"I dropped the charges in the end though, I thought to myself it wasn't worth you going to prison for" Mick smiled at Jeff, unaware that he knew everything. Jeff returned the smile, but inside he was raging, how could Mick even say that? The only reason Jeff was out of the cell, was because Dixie was vulnerable enough to let him do anything he wanted to her.  
"Cheers" He replied bluntly, trying to relax himself.  
"I suppose you want to know who you are working with today?" Mick asked, rummaging through the sheets to try and find the rotas.  
"Yeah" Jeff replied, as Mick scanned the rota sheet.  
"You are working with Tamzin"  
"Ok, the police said you were reporting me to the trust" Jeff brought in casually, wondering if he had been reported.  
"No, not yet, but I have reported Kathleen" Mick stood up, opening a draw and pulling out some more sheets.  
"Dixie"  
"Pardon?" Mick looked confused.  
"She likes to be called Dixie, not Kathleen" Jeff explained, he only ever called her Kathleen if he was angry with her, but he was sure he wouldn't be calling her Kathleen any time soon.  
"So how is Dixie?" Mick asked sitting back down, while Jeff thought of a reply that would give Mick some satisfaction.  
"She doesn't trust me anymore, she made this clear to me last night" Jeff replied, he knew inside this was all lies, but his reply seemed to satisfy Mick as Jeff saw a slight smile.  
"If she doesn't trust you, why are you with her?"  
"I am planning on leaving her" It was killing Jeff inside saying these words, the thing keeping him going was that when he got home he could hold Dixie tight, and tell her how much he loved her. Jeff had enough of lying, so made his excuses and left not knowing what he would do to Mick if he stayed with him much longer.

Jeff got into the ambulance where Tamzin was, she gave him a little smile.  
"Tamzin" he asked fiddling with his thumbs,  
"Yeah Jeff?" She replied, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.  
"Can I ask you to do something, for me and Dix"  
"Sure what is it?" Tamzin asked, wondering what Jeff wanted her to do.  
"Could you write down what Mick did to you?" Jeff said hopefully, hoping she would do this for them.  
"Why?"  
"I'm not letting him go on like this, he has hurt my Dixie to many times. She is so scared because of him, I can't let him get away with it" Jeff felt himself choking up, trying to hold back his tears, thinking of how different Dixie was, he just wanted his old Dixie back the one he could laugh and joke with.  
"I'll have it to you tomorrow" Tamzin replied, she didn't want to write it down, but she knew Jeff was right and she wanted to help in any way she could.  
"Thank you Tamzin, I mean it" Jeff smiled, this was another piece of evidence he would have against Mick, he wasn't sure if it would be enough but he had to try.

That shift seemed longer than ever, maybe it was because he couldn't take his mind of Dixie. Once he finished the shift, he got out of his work clothes, and went to leave but a voice stopped him.  
"Jeff, Jeff mate wait up" Jeff recognised the voice to be Micks, then footsteps of him running to catch up with Jeff.  
"You are not my fucking mate" he muttered to himself, making sure it was quiet enough for Mick not to hear.  
"Just wanted to know if you wanted to come for a drink?" Mick put his hand on Jeff's shoulder, but Jeff discreetly moved himself away, so his hand was no longer on his shoulder.  
"Nah, need to go back home" Jeff wanted to be with Dixie and hold her tightly, he played with the car keys taking his mind off punching Mick.  
"You sure, Dixie will be glad you weren't home till late. I mean if she doesn't trust you, give her a reason not to trust you" Mick suggested cunningly, still completely unaware Jeff knew what he did.  
"It's fine honestly Mick, I need to tell her that if she doesn't trust me, our friendship won't last much longer" Jeff's voice saddened saying these words, making Mick believe them.  
"I could have a word with her if you want?" Mick offered, Jeff shock his head he was having Dixie nowhere near him.  
"I need to do this myself" Jeff replied walking off to the car, once he got in he cursed to himself, before driving off back home. When he got home, he put in the key to unlock the door, going inside Dixie was nowhere to be seen.

"Dix it's me sweetie" He called waiting a few seconds before Dixie came out of the kitchen, going into his open arms. Jeff held her tightly, kissing the top of her head and tracing patterns on her back.  
"Tamzin is going to help us Dix"  
"How?" She asked a little confused, before Jeff explained.  
"I have asked her to write down what Mick did to her, she is going to give it to me tomorrow" Jeff continued to hug her, holding her close to him. He was determined to show the trust what sprt of person they were employing, he was determined to protect Dixie from him. Getting all the help he could, to reveal what Mick was really like.  
"Did Mick say anything? Did he try and break us apart again?"  
"It doesn't matter what he said"  
"Oh god he did didn't he…Jeff I am really sorry…I didn't think…" Dixie started to worry, she was scared of what Mick had said. Jeff put his fingers to her lips to stop her talking.  
"Shh, he isn't going to break us apart" Jeff assured, he wasn't going to let it get that far, he wasn't going to let Dixie be taken away from him.  
"Can I have a bath now Jeff?" Dixie asked, moving herself so she was looking in his eyes.  
"Of course you can Princess" he kissed her lightly on the top of her head again, then leading her up the stairs into the bathroom.  
"I missed you today Jeffrey" Dixie said sitting on the floor, watching as Jeff ran her another bath, adding the same vanilla scented bubble bath as he had done the previous night.  
"Missed you two princess, but I'm here now" he moved the water around, thinking of all the lies he told Mick, but he moved those thoughts aside he was with Dixie now, his princess. He helped her up from the bathroom floor, she then undressed and got into the bath. She was content in herself, feeling relaxed as the warm water soothed her, Jeff noticed her smiling and turned to leave thinking she would want to be left alone.  
"Jeffrey where are you going?" Dixie asked starting to panic a little.  
"I thought you would want me too…" He pointed to the door, but he saw Dixie's face drop as she shook her head, pointing to the space where he sat last night, indicating she wanted him to stay. He smiled at her and sat where she pointed, picking up the sponge that he used before.  
"Same as last night, if you don't want me to touch you, say and I promise I will go"  
Dixie smiled and nodded, before letting Jeff dab her with the sponge again, Jeff was being as careful and gentle as he was the night before, feeling grateful that Dixie trusted him enough to do this.


	40. Chapter 40

**Really unsure on this chapter, so your comments would be nice so I know what you think xxx**

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Once again the next morning Jeff felt bad about leaving Dixie, it seemed everyday a different part of her was lost. Jeff knew it was going to take time for her to become her normal self, but he just wished that day would be coming soon.  
He made her a hot chocolate before he left, so he knew this would be keeping her amused for a while, he didn't know what she would be doing the rest of the day, but he instructed her to stay in the house where he knew she would be safe.

Tamzin met him outside the ambulance bay, where she was holding some paper in a plastic wallet. She handed it to him reluctantly, but she wanted to do anything she could to help.  
"Cheers for this Tamz"  
"Don't mention it, right I have written about everything and how you were only attacking him to defend Dixie"  
"Thanks" Jeff replied, gobsmacked at the amount she had written it seemed like she had gone into great detail of what happened. Jeff knew Dixie would need to write her version of events down, and going into detail of things was going to be hard.  
"If you need me for anything else, you know where I am" Tamzin put a comforting hand on his shoulder, his case against Mick was becoming stronger, he printed out the photos of Dixie's injuries and hid them away in a folder he kept in the back of the cupboard, he was in no fit state to look at them.  
"Yeah I know" Jeff smiled knowing he had back up in this, surely the trust couldn't ignore three versions of events?

Jeff went to his car, putting the plastic sleeve Tamzin gave him in the boot of the car, knowing they would be safe there. Tamzin waited for him, as again they were working together, Jeff was glad he didn't have to work with Mick or he may have had to leave him in a collapsing building.

When Jeff and Tamzin got into the ambulance Jeff found the time to send Dixie a quick text,

**Hey Princess,  
Tamzin has done what she said, so our case is getting stronger against him is going to work trust me.  
Be home soon, Love you x **

He smiled at the text before sending it, he wasn't sure if the documents would be enough, but he was going to have to try. The first call out was a car crash on the Holby ring road, this meant a lot of paperwork would come after. Sure enough Jeff was right, and him and Tamzin were called into the office to go over their reports. Jeff noticed Tamzin was becoming more quiet as they reached outside his office, so he took hold of her hand giving it a tight squeeze.  
"It's ok, he isn't gonna hurt you"  
"I know" Tamzin gulped, as Jeff opened the door, still holding Tamzin's hand. Jeff was annoyed, Dixie and Tamzin were strong, and Mick had completely destroyed that in both of them.

"Hello you two, take a seat" Jeff went in first, followed by Tamzin they sat on the chairs opposite his desk.  
"Right, I just want to see your reports" Jeff handed them over, and Mick's eyes scanned over the pages. There was a long silence in the room, that was broken by Mick drumming his fingers on the desk but it seemed to make everything tenser.

"Are we done here?" Tamzin asked, wanting to get out as she was feeling confined in the small area with Mick.  
"You can go Tamzin, but I need to have a little word with Jeff" Tamzin nodded, while Jeff tried to figure out what 'little word' meant. Mick waited to talk, he waited until he heard the door shut.  
"So Jeff how is it going with Dixie?"  
"Not good, we had an argument last night" Jeff studied Mick's expression when he said this,  
"Just tell the cow where to go" Jeff was surprised at how forward Mick was expressing his feelings towards Dixie.  
"I did" Jeff retorted, biting his gums knowing this was utter bull shit.  
"Good, you will understand why I did what I did to her, she was, is a worthless lesbian she isn't worthy of you" Mick smiled whilst saying this, Jeff could feel his blood boil but he didn't have to reply as Tamzin called to him,  
"JEFF WE GOT A SHOUT!" Jeff breathed a sigh of relief, trying to make it quiet so it went unnoticed, thank fully it did. He got up out of his seat, steadily making his way towards the exit, as he approached the door Mick continued talking.  
"Remember what I said Jeff, she is worthless and deserved everything I gave her" Jeff gave a small nod, his fists were tightly clenched with his blood reaching boiling point, he wanted to go over there and clobber him for what he was saying, but the thing stopping him was Dixie. She needed him to go home to her, needed him to look after and protect her, he couldn't do that if he was in a cell being charged with assault.

He swung open the door and left the office, cursing to himself for not being able to hit Mick, but he needed to think of the consequences of his actions. Going into the ambulance he could see Tamzin getting ready to drive, he slammed the door angrily he couldn't understand why Mick had such a major problem with Dixie. What Mick said had put Jeff in a mood all day, Tamzin was calm with him convincing him that going back and hitting Mick wasn't the right thing to do, Jeff knew it wouldn't help the situation but it would make him feel a lot better.

"Jeff you need to calm down"  
"Ok, tell me how I am supposed to calm down, when he is in there calling Dixie a worthless cow right in front of me" Jeff exclaimed crossing his arms, glaring out the window.  
"You are supposed to calm down, so you don't end up hitting him. Do you want to end up in a cell again?"  
"No" Jeff muttered still staring out the window.  
"Right, then stop getting yourself worked up. There is only an hour left of the shift anyway" Tamzin said looking at her watch, counting down the time she had until she could go home and sleep.  
"How am I not meant to get myself worked up, after everything he has done he is still walking around like nothing is wrong"  
"And if you don't keep your hands to yourself, and your ginormous gob shut, it will be you who is being locked up" Tamzin commented, trying to make Jeff see sense. Jeff sighed not bothering to answer what Tamzin had said, he rested his head on the window watching the cars pass by.

The end of the shift was dawning, and Tamzin took the ambulance back to the bay, where she then kept a close eye on Jeff. Once he was ready she had to drag him out of the bay, dragging him away so he didn't do any damage as she knew what Jeff was like.

When Jeff arrived home, he took the plastic sleeve from the boot of the car, and went inside the house. He placed the papers on the side, Dixie came rushing up to him and wrapped her arms around him. Holding her tight and kissing her head, this was his reward for not hitting Mick, and it was worth it. Dixie pulled away noticing the new pieces of paper on the coffee table,

"What's that Jeff?"  
"Tamzin's statement. I think it's time we started yours as well"  
"Do I have too" Dixie asked, feeling herself becoming low as she remembered all the things Mick did.  
"Yeah babe, the sooner it's done the better" he focused his glance to her hair, twisting it gently around his fingers.

An hour later and he had Dixie on the sofa, writing down about what Mick has done to her over the years. She explained to him about her school life, how it started with name calling but on the last day he took it a  
step further, throwing her to the floor and breaking two of her ribs in one kick. He made her another hot chocolate, as she took a break from writing, Jeff sat next to her as she finished the drink placing the empty mug on the table. She had gotten to the part where Mick attacked her in the warehouse, this was the first time Jeff knew what had happened in detail. Then she continued writing in detail, both of them were silent until Dixie spoke.

"He kept calling me worthless" Dixie stammered as she tapped the pen on the piece of paper, Jeff watched and listened to what she was saying.  
"Maybe I am" Dixie continued, making Jeff's eyes water at what she was saying.  
"Babe you aren't please, believe me you are far from worthless" he looked into her eyes, seeing them fill with tears.  
"Even you called me worthless Jeff…"  
"That was the biggest mistake of my life, along with hitting you, I can never forgive myself for the things I done to you that night. You are the most valuable thing to me, I can't risk losing you again" Jeff moved her into his arms, he felt so bad about doing the things he did that night and he knew he could never take what he said back.

"Come on, what part are you up to?" Jeff asked, sniffing trying to keep himself together. Dixie moved herself from his arms and scanned over the piece of paper.  
"When he tried to rape me, and you got him off me" Dixie stammered, Jeff had to shake his head to get the image out of his mind. He could see this was making Dixie get emotional also, so he picked up the pen thinking it was his time to write down his version of events. He pulled Dixie closer to him, until she was on his lap, this was a very difficult way to write but Dixie seemed to calm down as he traced patterns on her back with his free hand.

He wrote how Mick turned them against each other, how he had to get him away from Dixie by any means possible, he could remember how scared she was, how scared she still is. Jeff finished writing, writing what he thought was necessary, and what would help in their case against Mick. Looking to Dixie he was surprised, he wondered why she hadn't said anything and why she had stopped sobbing, she had fallen asleep her head resting on his shoulder and sitting on his lap. Chuckling to himself quietly, he stroked her hair, but he knew she couldn't stay sleeping on him like this. He wasn't in a particular comfortable sitting position, but if he moved he may wake Dixie, when she was looking so peaceful and content he didn't want to wake her. Slowly he managed to move them so they were both on a lying position on the sofa, but half way through lying her down, Jeff found that her arms wrapped around his waist gently. Smiling at Dixie, he leaned his arm over the side of the sofa in search of the blanket, he found it and put it around them both. Dixie's head had made its way on his chest, so he lay there putting his arm around her protectively, looking at the locks of blonde hair resting on his chest.

"I love you Dixie, and I am not letting him tear us apart again. You are the most beautiful person, with a beautiful heart. I can never forgive myself for harming you, it was the one thing in my life that I regret." Jeff felt himself choke, remembering how scared she was, how he hurt her by lashing out on her when she needed his support. "I am proud to call you Mrs Collier" he ended kissing her lightly on the head, spending the next few moments looking at his wife, remembering all those times he let her down and how he was determined it was never going to happen again. He was glad he contained himself with Mick, he didn't know how he managed it when Mick was calling her worthless, Jeff knew that Mick was trying to break their relationship again, but he wasn't going to let him take Dixie away from him. Dixie was his Dixie, his princess and he wasn't sharing her with anyone. He had the day off tomorrow, they were going to find out the date of the meeting Dixie had with the trust. He was going to spend the day with Dixie, making it up to her in any way he could. He was going to make it clear to her that no matter what Mick said, she was his beautiful princess and nobody was taking her away from him.


	41. Chapter 41

**I am going to be truthful, I am really not sure on this chap, I think it is pretty naff and fluffy, but hope you like it all the same xxxx**

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When Jeff woke up he could see Dixie was still sleeping, her arms were still around his waist and her head still rested on his chest. Rubbing his eyes, he stroked her hair softly, watching her sleep for a while. Jeff noticed she was stirring a little, before she opened her eyes looking around realising they weren't were they normally slept.  
"Morning babe"  
"Why are we on the sofa Jeff?" she questioned, sitting up and continuing to look around, finding it strange not waking up in bed.  
"Because you fell asleep on my lap, and I didn't want to wake you" he replied, sitting up with her.  
"Sorry" Dixie felt a little bad when Jeff said this.  
"It's ok, didn't mind too much" he moved the hair from her eyes, watching her give a little smile.

That morning Jeff spent the time looking through the written accounts, they had these backed up with the photographs but he hoped it would be enough, he hoped it would convince the trust then maybe even police, and most importantly he hoped it would make Dixie feel safer.  
"Babe"  
"Yeah Jeff" She came out of the kitchen, and Jeff went to stand opposite her, moving his hands either side of her face.  
"I'm proud of you Princess" he wrapped his arms around her, she had gone into a lot of detail when writing her account, and he was proud of her for doing so. Jeff wanted to make it up to her in any way he could, and for now that was making her a hot chocolate. He was preoccupied with pouring the hot water in the mug, to notice that Dixie had gone to get the mail. Dixie picked up the only letter that was addressed to her, opening it, she could see it was the date of her meeting with the trust.  
"Dix what is…When is it?" Jeff could see from the envelope that it was from the trust, he placed the mug on the table, and gently took the piece of paper from her, to see for himself. The date was just a week from today, Jeff hoped he could use that week to his advantage and try to collect some more evidence against Mick. Dixie let a tear fall from her eye, it was all so soon, she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to do this.  
"I don't think I can do this Jeff"  
"Of course you can, you are so strong" Jeff cupped her face, watching her tears fall.  
"What if he lies in there Jeff, what if you believe him, what if…" Dixie could think of a lot of what ifs, but Jeff interrupted her.  
"But I won't, the only person I believe is you. I won't let him hurt you again, I will be with you every step of the way" Jeff wasn't going to let Dixie be hurt again, he wasn't going to let the trust pin the blame on her. He settled her down on the sofa, watching as she drank the hot chocolate gratefully. He made it just how she liked it, adding more chocolate powder to make it more chocolaty, then whipped cream with mini marshmallows and some grated Cadburys. He only ever did this on her birthday, as he couldn't be bothered with all the effort but today he thought she deserved it, he was glad Dixie recognised the effort he put into it.

"Since when were you good at making drinks?" Dixie questioned smiling at the amount of effort Jeff put in to making the one hot chocolate, whipped cream on the top with mini marshmallows and grated chocolate.  
"Something special for my special princess" Jeff said sitting next to her, smiling as she got cream on her upper lip which she rubbed away with her arm.  
"Don't you think you are sounding a bit fluffy there Jeffrey?"  
"Nah, fluffy is good from time to time. Why don't you like fluffy?" Jeff leaned back in the chair, Dixie noticed he was being different, but he thought this would be an ideal time for expressing his feelings towards her in a fluffy way.  
"Just don't think I'm worth all this fuss" Dixie finished the drink, placing  
the empty mug on the table.  
"You are worth all the fuss in the world my lovely princess"  
"Do you really think that?" Dixie didn't believe she was worth all this fuss.  
"You want to know what I think?" Jeff asked, Dixie nodded so Jeff sat himself opposite, taking her hands in his.  
"I think you are the kindest person I have ever met, and whatever you want I will try my best to provide it for you. I love you with all my heart, the only thing that isn't perfect about you is you're a lesbian, which means I can't have you for my own. But I will stand by you no matter what, and if that means being your friend then that is what I will be" Jeff ended, lifting Dixie's chin so he could see her face.  
"I'm not sure anymore Jeff" Dixie said, she didn't know who she was anymore.  
"What do you mean princess?" Jeff asked softly, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear.  
"When I was with Tamzin, I couldn't cope without you"  
"Go on" Jeff encouraged holding her hands tighter.  
"I can't be without you Jeff, but when I told Cyd she ran off, that's why I have been avoiding telling you"  
"Avoiding telling me what Princess?" he asked curiously, waiting a few seconds for her to speak again.  
"I think…I think I love you Jeff" Dixie said slowly, looking into Jeff's eyes waiting to hear his reaction, she had felt this way for a while, but she needed Jeff so she was avoiding telling him as she was scared he would run off like Cyd did.  
"Please say something" Dixie stammered, noticing he had gone silent, she could feel her heart racing hope she hadn't destroyed her relationship making her lose him a second time, she couldn't bare losing Jeff with those 3 truthful words 'I love you.'


	42. Chapter 42

"Jeff I am so so sorry. Please don't go….Please don't leave" Dixie felt herself breaking down into sobs, thinking she had completely shattered her relationship with Jeff. It took Jeff a while for what she said to sink in, but he could see she was beginning to panic, so he cupped her face quickly in attempt to calm her down.  
"It's fine babe, I'm not going anywhere. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to say those words" Jeff felt himself smiling, so happy at what Dixie said.  
"What?" Dixie asked, a little bit of hope rose within her that she hadn't lost Jeff.  
"I love you too Princess, I'm not leaving you ever" Jeff assured pulling her close to him, putting his arms around her and holding her tight. He could feel her silently sobbing into his chest, he couldn't believe what she said, it was all still sinking in.  
"Do you really mean it babe?" he asked softly, hoping that she did.  
"Yes I do, but I understand if you don't love me back, but please stay as my friend... Jeff if you want to leave please just do it now" Dixie tried to move herself out of Jeff's grasp but his hold on her was too strong, keeping her tightly in place where she felt safe and comforted.  
"No I don't want to leave, the only place I want to be is by your side. I love you so much, I have for a while" Jeff kissed her head softly, continuing to hold her. He wanted her to stay in his arms, this is where she belonged, he moved her slightly so he could look into her blue eyes.  
"You're not going to go?" Dixie said, feeling glad that Jeff was holding and cradling her.  
"Never princess, I love you so much I didn't realise you felt the same way"  
"I didn't want you to run off" Dixie began to cry, hoping this wouldn't become a reality.  
"I'm not going to run off, I love you too much to hurt you like that Dixie" He wiped away her tears with his thumb, he never wanted to hurt her, he really did love her too much to do that.  
"Not even after what I did…"  
"I'm not going to lie, I don't agree with what you did you put yourself in danger, but I know you needed me and I let you down. We are going to sort this all out. Together, I won't let you do this alone" he was determined Dixie wasn't going to go through things alone.  
"What if he lies in there though Jeff, and the trust believe him and not me"  
"I will make sure you are prepared, we have loads of evidence against him babe the trust will have no choice other than to believe you" Jeff didn't know if this would be true or not all he could do was hope.  
"Do you really love me?" Dixie asked, she didn't have to wait long for a reply.  
"I love you more than anything, I would quite happily do anything for you Princess" Jeff moved his hand to her cheek, rubbing his thumb under her eye.

"I'm scared Jeff, in the meeting what if the trust don't believe me"  
"Either way, I will be waiting for you. Just think when you are in there, when you come out I will be waiting for you, no matter what the trust believe or say I know the truth and I am going nowhere without you" Dixie seemed to settle down at his response, calming down into his arms, the couple remained silent both lost in their own thoughts.

"Jeff I'm going to be on my own in there, I don't think I can do it without you"  
"Yes you can, trust me babe you really can" Jeff continued to assure her that things would be ok, he was going to make things ok.  
"What am I supposed to do in there?"  
"First of all I want you to give them the folder, then they will read it see what he has done to you" Jeff replied in a shudder, everything that Mick had done to Dixie made him feel sick, he just hoped the trust would see and they would be given some justice.  
"Ok" Dixie didn't want to move from Jeff's arms, she felt so safe and comforted by him, she was glad he didn't run off.  
"I love you Dixie"  
"I love you too Jeff" she looked up to Jeff smiling, neither of them expected what happened next. They leaned closer, their lips softly touching with their eyes closed it only lasted a few seconds, before Jeff pulled away.  
"I'm sorry babe" Jeff bit his gums, it all felt right but he didn't want to have made Dixie remember anything, or push her into something that made her uncomfortable.  
"Don't be" Dixie replied, the kiss making her feel warm and cosy inside.  
"Thank you Jeff"  
"For what?"  
"I wouldn't be able to do this without you, and I can't feel him on me anymore, it's like…it's like" Dixie was finding it difficult to explain, but Jeff waited patiently for her to find the right words.  
"It's like you have taken away his touch" This was the best way she could explain, but Jeff completely understood and he was glad she couldn't feel him anymore.  
"I'm glad, bloody creep" Jeff stopped, he could go on all day ranting about Mick, but Dixie was more important than him this was her time, he had a day with her before going back to work and he wasn't looking forward to it. The only thing that would keep him going would be to coming home to Dixie, to cradle her in his arms and maybe share another kiss but he wasn't going to push her.

The week was going to be spent gathering as much evidence as he could, and the rest of his time he was going to spend it looking after his Dixie preparing her for the meeting, he was annoyed he couldn't go with her to the meeting. That he wouldn't be there to protect her from Micks lying, all he could do was prepare her, and comfort her when she got back. He was going to continue to play dumb when he went to work, hoping to catch Mick out even more. Jeff was also preying that this wasn't going to backfire on them, because it would be Dixie who it would backfire on in the meeting when he wouldn't be there to protect her. He would never forgive himself if Mick got to her again, especially as she said she loved him, he had been waiting months for her to say those words and he was going to cherish every time she said them.


	43. Chapter 43

Once again the next morning Jeff had to leave Dixie, he very much wanted to stay with her all day but he needed to use this week to his advantage collecting as much evidence towards Mick as possible. The first day went by and nothing, second day nothing, third day nothing, fourth day nothing. Jeff was becoming worried that there wouldn't be enough evidence towards Mick to get justice, five days had now gone and he had found nothing new he could use against him. It was the sixth day, it was now tomorrow when it was Dixie's meeting with the trust, and he was working a shift with Mick.

Jeff had to have a long hug with Dixie in the morning, he would use this to try and calm himself down during the day, reminding himself that when he was containing himself his reward would be a long comforting hug with Dixie. They had shared a few kisses since declaring their love for each other, but nothing more than that, it was always a simple soft kiss. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, he always made sure she was ok with it.

The cold morning air hit him, as he stepped out of the car heading towards the ambulance bay. He already felt his blood beginning to boil, knowing he was going to have to spend eight hours with the man that repeatedly hurt Dixie, and continued to call her worthless. Jeff took a few deep breaths before entering the bay, trying to cool himself off before facing him.

Luckily he didn't have to face him, until he got into the ambulance. Jeff was letting Mick drive, he knew that the patients in the back of the ambulance would keep his mind off of clobbering Mick, at least he was hoping this would be the case.  
"You alright Jeff?"  
"Yeah I'm good, you?" Jeff tried to make his voice sound normal, trying to hide his rage towards Mick, he was getting better at doing this.  
"Better than ever" Mick replied driving the ambulance out of the station.

After a couple of shouts Mick remained quiet, Jeff enjoyed this as he seemed to forget he was there, it wasn't until their lunch break they started talking.  
"Have you ditched Dixie yet?"  
"No, need to think" This was the only reply Jeff could think off.  
"Think about what? The cow deserves to be alone"  
"Suppose" Jeff replied sadly, thinking of Dixie being alone, she didn't deserve what he was doing or saying, she deserved to be loved and cared about and Jeff was going to make sure she was.  
"What do you mean suppose? She deserves everything she gets" Mick spat, Jeff was finding it hard to contain himself, he was holding his cup of tea tightly slowly crushing it, as he imagined it was Mick's neck. Thankfully for Jeff that was the end of the conversation, they remained in silence waiting for another shout, this silence was cut short by Mick talking.  
"She never walked in on a drug deal" He muttered before chuckling to himself,  
"What do you mean?" Jeff asked, trying not to show his anger. Mick didn't have time to answer as they were called in for a shout, they put the tea in the bin before going into the ambulance.

The shout gave Jeff some time to think, maybe if he got Mick to admit to the things he did this would help in Dixie's case, but he would need proof that Mick admitted them. He managed to find the time to send Dixie a quick text asking if she was ok, when he had an idea. If he could record Mick admitting to hurting Dixie, this would be proof. Jeff found the voice recorder on his phone, setting it up so all he had to do was press the OK button and it would start recording.

Smiling to himself at his cunning plan, all he had to do was get Mick to admit the things he did. Finding him would be easy, but he then had to get him to admit to the things he did, Jeff didn't know how he was going to do this, but he had a faint idea.

"Mick" He called, finding him in the ambulance they were working on. Jeff put the phone in his pocket getting ready to record.  
"Yes what is it?"  
"What were you going to say to me earlier, you said Dix didn't walk in on a drug deal" At this point Jeff pressed the OK button on his phone, it had now started recording the conversation.  
"Oh yeah, doesn't matter the cow got what she deserved"  
"Course she did, I just want to know what happened" Jeff was getting a little worried that he wouldn't be able to convince him to say.  
"Why?"  
"Because they didn't do a good enough Job, they didn't try hard enough" Jeff managed, it was killing him saying these things but if it got Mick to admit what he did, that was proof and would do Dixie good for the meeting tomorrow.  
"Sorry for letting you down mate, I really did try. Seeing her face was the best thing, how scared she was, how helpless it was the best thing I have ever seen in my life. She is a worthless lesbo, hope the trust don't allow her to work as a paramedic anymore, she isn't worthy of the job. She isn't worthy of you as a friend, she is wasting air being alive, surely you must agree" Mick ended, Jeff could feel tears in his eyes but he was determined not to let them fall, he fought this thought as him and Dixie were no longer best friends they were a lot more, they had declared their love for one another and they were truthful and honest with each other. Hearing Mick talk like that about her made him angry, but he had to contain himself for Dixie's sake, she needed him.  
"Yeah I do,"  
"So you agree that she is worthless?" Mick encouraged.  
"Yeah I do" Jeff repeated, unable to think of any new words, he stopped the recording there, trying to contain himself knowing what the consequences would be if he didn't. Jeff spent the next couple of moments taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, the thought that eventually calmed him down was the thought of going home and holding Dixie tight telling her how much he loved her.

It was only an hour until his thought became a reality, he opened the door to his home as soon as he did Dixie came rushing into his arms.  
"Hey. Hey I'm here now babe" he held her tightly, as she rested her head in his chest.  
"Missed you"  
"I know, but I'm here now and I have got something else"  
"What?" Dixie asked, wondering what Jeff had got his hands on.  
"Listen to this" Jeff pulled out his phone, playing back the recording of the conversation him and Mick had in the ambulance.  
Dixie listened to the recording, feeling her eyes fill with tears at hearing Jeff agree with what Mick was saying. When the recording stopped she was on the verge of breaking down, Jeff had agreed that she was worthless and wasting air.  
"Princess this is good, what's the matter?" Jeff asked, wiping away her tears then realising why she was upset.  
"You don't seriously believe what I said babe" Jeff moved himself closer to her, but she just looked to him not sure what to say.  
"You agreed with him Jeff" Dixie began to sob thinking Mick had turned Jeff against her again.  
"No. No I love you, and I only agreed with him so he thinks he has broken us up"  
"But he hasn't broken us up. Has he?" She asked worry evident in her voice, thinking she may have lost Jeff again.  
"Of course not, he can never break us up" Jeff cupped her face, then held her close convincing her that he loved her, and that he didn't agree with Mick he was only saying it to continue the act.  
"You sure Jeff? So you don't think I'm worthless?"  
"No I don't you are the most precious thing to me, and I love you with all my heart" he looked into her eyes, saying these words.  
"And I love you too" Dixie replied, making Jeff smile.  
"Well there you go, see I won't let him break us up. Now we have this, come on let's face it in the recording he has basically admitted attacking you" he continued to hold her close, kissing her head lightly.  
"Do you think we have enough against him Jeff?"  
"I hope so, he can't deny the recording can he"  
"I suppose" Dixie replied in a muffle.  
"He will go down for what he has done Dix. Trust me Dix, he will" he moved her in his arms, looking into her eyes, before they could stop themselves they found again their lips were touching, he still had his arms around her waist holding her close. After a few moments he pulled away, smiling treasuring that special moment.  
"See he hasn't torn us apart babe, I love you and he can never make me change my mind on that"  
"You sure"  
"Positive, now let's get you some dinner" Jeff held her hand leading her into the kitchen, he wanted her to eat and be strong for the upcoming day, he didn't know what would happen in the meeting, he just hoped the trust wouldn't be too hard on her. Jeff was hoping that the evidence he collected against Mick would be enough, and that Mick wasn't planning on harming Dixie again as he wouldn't be there to protect her, this was something Jeff was beating himself up over already. But for now Dixie was with him, he was with her and he knew she was safe, but tomorrow he wouldn't have that same feeling. Jeff was just hoping Mick was finished with the lying and hurting Dixie, but something inside told him this wasn't the case. He was desperatly hoping that this meeting wouldn't backfire on Dixie, as he wouldn't be there to protect her and comfort her, she would be on her own.  
He shuddered to get rid of the thought, focusing on making Dixie dinner, hoping that she would appreciate him cooking her favourite meal of a chow mien. He didn't cook for her often, but tomorrow was going to be a hard day for her, and he wanted her to be strong. Jeff wanted to make her feel loved an appreciated, he was going to do this by any means possible and if this meant him slaving around in the kitchen all night to cook her a meal, he would do it.


	44. Chapter 44

Dixie woke up in Jeff's arms, she was scared of what the day may bring, what if the trust didn't believe her? She enjoyed the feeling of being in Jeff's arms she felt safe and warm, she wanted to stay this way all day.  
"Come on babe" Jeff kissed her head softly, seeing that she had woken up and he was sensing her nerves.  
"I don't want to go Jeffrey"  
"You have to princess, let's go downstairs and make you some breakfast" Jeff helped her sit up, then took her down the stairs where he would make her some breakfast. Dixie spent the morning being silent, taking in what Jeff was telling her to say to the trust. The morning passed by quickly, it was all pretty much a blur to the couple.

Dixie was now alone, waiting outside the office to be allowed in. She had the folder with all the evidence they had collected towards Mick, she sat in the chair tapping her feet on the floor impatiently. The door was opened by a woman who gave a smile to Dixie, this made her feel a little better but she wanted Jeff with her.  
"Please come in Mrs Collier" Dixie nodded and stood up, going into the room she didn't see a single face she recognised.  
"Please sit Mrs Collier, I am Colin Saunders. This is Megan Cooper and Charles Spencer" He pointed to the people that were sat either side of him, Dixie didn't like the harshness he used in his voice.  
"Now the reason you are here is because Mr Williams has filed a complaint against you, he believes you do not have the skills to be a good paramedic, and he also claims you are mentally unfit to cope with the stress of being a paramedic" Colin said resting back in his chair eyeing Dixie, making her feel tense and uncomfortable but she was trying to stay strong.  
"I am perfectly fit, and I think I am very good at the job" Dixie replied as strongly as she could.  
"Then why did you try and take your own life?" Megan's voice was staying soft knowing this was a sensitive subject.  
"Mick tore me and Jeff apart, I can't live without Jeff"  
"I see, well Mr Williams has made some complaints towards you about your quality's as a paramedic" Colin responded.  
"Yeah well I have some complaints against him too" Dixie replied, handing them the folder, she hadn't looked inside herself as she didn't have the strength, but she knew Jeff had looked as he was checking over everything before she came to the meeting. The woman took the folder and handed out the sheets of paper, Dixie sat nervously waiting for a few moments until one of them spoke.  
"Mrs Collier, these are some serious accusations"  
"That is what happened, I know it seems too much to believe but please. My job means everything to me, you can't take that away from me" Dixie pleaded, Megan looked at her giving Dixie a weak smile.  
"Well your version of accounts seem to fit very well with Mr Williams" This was the first time that Charles spoke, his voice was sympathetic, but Dixie was confused.  
"I'm sorry you've lost me"  
"Mrs Collier, you aren't the only one who has made a dossier" Charles flicked through some other documents that were lying scattered across the table.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Mr Williams has provided us with some documents, and let's just say your version of events back them up" Colin put his hands together, staring at Dixie she was scared and didn't understand what was going on.  
"Dixie has Mr Collier been assaulting you?" Megan asked, Dixie felt her jaw drop at what she was saying.  
"No, why would you think that?" Dixie replied defensively.  
"Mr Williams has given us reason to believe that Mr Collier has been abusing you, he says he is worried for your safety" Colin continued to stare at Dixie, she knew Mick would probably have tried to do something to cover his tracks, but how could he blame Jeff?  
"If he was worried for my safety, why would he attack me and abandon me in a collapsing building" Dixie could feel her strength leaving her, she was scared and fear was ruling her body.  
"Mr Williams never abandoned you, he simply put the patients needs before yours" Colin's remark was making Dixie's eyes water but she was trying to stay strong.  
"What about the time he attacked me, you have the pictures" Dixie exclaimed pointing to the folder, waiting for them to take a closer look.  
"Dixie these pictures prove you were attacked, but they don't prove that it was Mick. We know for a fact Mr Collier finds it hard to contain himself, and we know he has hit you"  
"That was because Mick broke us apart" Dixie was on the verge of breaking down, she wanted to be home with Jeff.  
"So you admit that Mr Collier has hit you" Megan interrupted,  
"Once, and he would never do it again"  
"Dixie, Mr Williams is very concerned about your wellbeing with Mr Collier" Colin's words shocked Dixie, anybody that knew Jeff would know he would never harm her.  
"Well he shouldn't be, I am perfectly safe with Jeff" She scowled, moving herself back in the chair.  
"Seeing as he attacked you, I don't think that is the case" Colin was begging to annoy Dixie.  
"Jeff didn't, it was Mick who attacked me"  
"I can understand your need to want to protect Jeff, but your safety is important too"  
"The only person who makes me feel safe is Jeff" Dixie had tears rolling down her cheeks, she wanted Jeff with her, wanted to be home with him.  
"Well we don't think you are safe with him. We feel it is nessecary to take further action, involving a formal court hearing. If this is the case, we sympathise with you deerly, and we will continue to think about reinstating you" Colin continued, as Mick entered the room, his presence made the room go silent until he spoke.  
"Hello Dixie, I am sorry but I needed to inform them of what Jeff has been doing to you" Mick gave Dixie a venomous smile, she had lost all her strength she couldn't believe he was trying to blame Jeff for all this.  
"We will get him done for this Dixie, don't worry my love. How about you come and stay with me for a while I will look after you, and I can protect you from Jeff" Dixie was now breaking down into tears, shivering as Mick put his arms around her.


	45. Chapter 45

Dixie felt so helpless, she couldn't understand how the trust believed Jeff was the one responsible for all of this. She shook herself away from Mick, his touch was cold and it had sent shivers down her spine.  
"It wasn't Jeff" Dixie continued to protest, Jeff had always said she had a special talent of being stubborn, and this was one of those times she was going to use this talent.  
"Dixie have you heard how he talks about you?" Mick questioned, running his hand on her back, making her visibly flinch.  
"It's ok, I can see he has made you scared. I can help you" She glared at Mick, he knew what he was saying, he had been planning this.  
"No the reason I'm scared is because of you, not Jeff. You" Dixie forgot the trust panel were in the room, all her strength was being used to protect herself from Mick's lies.  
"Mrs Collier, please calm down"  
"No. No I will not calm down, because he attacked me, left me for dead and tried to rape me"  
"Will you please listen to what we have to say?" Colin asked, trying to make the situation calmer. Dixie gave a weak nod, shuffling herself in her seat so she was as far away from Mick as possible.  
"Now Mr Williams, would you like to talk us through your version of events, and tell us why you have filed a complaint against Mrs Collier?"  
"Certainly, after she was attacked she became different, she kept her distance from people"  
"Go on"  
"I started becoming concerned, then I noticed that her and Jeff were avoiding each other. I started to dig, after Jeff attacked me"  
"Have you told them why Jeff hit you?" Dixie questioned getting annoyed at all the lies.  
"Mrs Collier, let him speak" Colin interfered, pointing at Mick to allow him to continue.  
"As you can see, well hear, you know will know what Mr Collier really thinks of his wife" Mick pointed to a CD, which Megan put into her laptop pressing some keys, while Dixie was preparing herself for what she may hear.

"So Jeff what do you think of Dixie being attacked?" Mick's voice was first, it was a while before they heard a reply.  
"She deserved it, she is worthless and deserves everything she gets" She heard Jeff reply, but something was wrong with each word he sounded a different emotion, this is when Dixie knew the recording had been tampered with. Megan stopped the recording and the room fell silent, all eyes on Dixie.

"I thought this meeting was to decide if I would be getting my Job back, not accusing Jeff of abusing me" Dixie questioned, making the panel mutter to themselves.  
"Mr Williams, why have you filed a report to us about Mrs Collier?"  
"She hasn't been up to the job, I am wondering if it is getting too much for her the stressful Job. Then I have reason to believe she is being abused, I wanted this dealt with in a formal way" Mick responded calmly, Dixie didn't know how he could lie to somebody like this.  
"Please, I am not being abused it is him who has caused me all the pain. He has brought me and Jeff closer together, we love each other" Dixie said with tears in her eyes, trying to get them to believe what she was saying.  
"How can you love somebody who hurts you?" Mick asked, putting his hand to her hair making her flinch, she didn't understand why the trust were allowing him to do this.  
"Mr Williams, I know you care but this isn't helping" Megan said, making Mick move his hand from Dixie's hair as she breathed a small sigh of relief.  
"Please can you understand, he has taken everything from me. First of all he took my Job, then my bestfriend, but me and Jeff have come out stronger in this Jeff hasn't hurt me, he is trying to protect me from him" Dixie said feeling herself getting stronger, allowing her stubborn side to take over.  
"Then why did he attack Mr Williams for no reason?" Colin asked.  
"He had a perfectly good reason if you read what has been written, Mick was touching me and Jeff saw, he saw how scared I was and got him off me" Dixie exclaimed, she was getting more stubborn by the second.  
"Mr Williams is this true?" Megan asked, Dixie became a little settled, with at least one of the panel on her side.  
"No it isn't, the first bit was but she couldn't keep her hands off me either. Jeff saw and got angry, and if that is what he does in public, I hate to see what he does behind closed doors" Mick was being smart, but Dixie wasn't letting him convince the trust that Jeff was hurting her.  
"Jeff will never hurt me, he hurt you to protect me. Like I said, isn't this meeting about me, and if I will get my job back" She said this words looking to Megan, knowing she was the one hope of her getting her job back.  
"Dixie, in your opinion do you think you are ready to face work again, I mean with all the stress it will be. After the sensitive subject of you trying to…Well you know, we will want to be sure you are ready" Megan asked softly, giving Dixie a comforting smile.  
"I am ready, I need my job back"  
"Well in that case, let us review your case and we will get back to you tomorrow" Megan continued smiling at Dixie, Dixie smiled back.  
"Or there is something else" Mick interrupted.  
"And what would that be Mr Williams?" Charles asked leaning forward in his chair, eager to hear what Mick was going to say.  
"I am very willing to take Dixie back on one condition, she lives with me so I can protect her from Jeff" Dixie froze glaring at Mick, she was stunned at what he said.  
"Mrs Collier, I want you to think very carefully about this offer" Colin spoke, Dixie shook her head.  
"Are we done here because I want to go home" Dixie asked standing up, putting on her jacket.  
"Dixie please" Mick turned to Dixie, but she just glared at him.  
"My job means a lot to me, but it's not worth being with you. The only thing I want is to be in Jeff's arms" Dixie replied, shocking herself at her found strength, walking out the office. Walking faster to getting away from the footsteps that were dangerously close behind her.


	46. Chapter 46

**did on my ipod so sorry for any mistakes, Happy Christmas to all my readers and I wish you all the best xxx**

* * *

The footsteps were becoming louder and clearer, Dixie continued to walk faster. Then she thought to herself, she wasn't going to be scared of him she was going to stand her ground she was determined not to give him the satisfaction. She turned seeing somebody she didn't expect, her heart was still racing but it calmed seeing the friendly face.

"Bloody hell Jeff" she gasped, but feeling relieved it was him. She moved herself into his open arms, as he held her tightly.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you princess, I wasn't letting you walk home alone was I" Jeff felt bad for frightening her, but he wasn't letting her walk home alone he wanted to make sure she got home safe and unharmed. He held her tight for a few moments, holding her close to him.

"So how did it go in there princess?" he asked hoping that the trust didn't go to hard on her, and that she was one step closer to getting her job back.

"Horrible, Mick came in half way through..." Dixie continued to sob into Jeffs chest, this is when he knew something was wrong. "Dix what did he do?" he asked gently, stroking the back of her hair, listening for an answer.

"He tried to blame you for everything Jeff, he told the trust you have been abusing me" Dixie managed to say remembering everything that Mick had said in the meeting. "He what?" Jeff was shocked, but he tried not to show it as he was trying to calm Dixie down.

"He had a recording of you, you said I deserved to be attacked, that I deserved everything I got" Dixie began to shake saying those words, but she was sure the recording had been tampered with.

"Babe I never said that, please to god belive me. I never said those things about you" Jeff cupped her face, he was astounded at how low Mick was willing to go to tear apart his relationship with Dixie, but Jeff wasn't going to let this happen.

"I believe you Jeff" Dixie said looking into his eyes, she didn't believe the recording one bit.

"Come on Princess" Jeff put his arm around her, protecting her from any danger, he smiled as she nestled herself into his chest. He was glad he waited for Dixie, although it was cold outside waiting for her, he wasn't letting her walk home alone. He noticed Dixie kept putting her hand to her hair, pulling away strands of her hair and wincing as she did.

"Dix, what are you doing?" he took hold of her hand holding it tight, stopping her from pulling her hair out.

"He kept putting his hand to my hair, I don't want him on me Jeff..." she broke down into tears, making Jeff pull her towards him holding her tightly again to comfort her.

"He isn't on you babe" Jeff whispered kissing her head softly, trying to calm her down.

"He is Jeff I can still feel him. He came in saying it was all you, he put his arms around me then started stroking me hair. Saying he would take back his complaint against me as long as I moved in with him"

"Dix please tell me you didn't" Jeff became paranoid, he knew Dixie wanted her job back and was bored being stuck inside all day, but he was praying that she hadn't agreed to do something that would get her hurt.

"I couldn't, I told him that he was the one scaring me, but he continued to blame you" Dixie couldn't stop sobbing, thinking of all the things she could have said to stop the trust blaming Jeff for all this.

"Well done babe, I'm so proud of you" Jeff was glad she didn't agree to do anything that would put her in danger.

"You shouldn't be, I let you down in there I couldn't convince the trust it was Mick hurting me not you. Now I want to rip all my hair out because I can still feel him touching it" Dixie pulled out more of her hair, making Jeff stop her dead in her tracks.

"Mrs Collier don't you dare pull out another strand of hair" Jeff said sternly pulling her hand away from her hair, and holding it tight in his.

"Jeff I let you down, I couldn't stop him lying. I couldn't stop him putting his arms around me, I couldn't stop him stroking my hair, I couldn't..." Jeff put his fingers to her lips to stop her taking in mid sentence.

"Shhhhh, let's get you inside" Jeff guided her down the path, and into their home where the warmth hit them instantly.

"When do you find out if you get your job back?" Jeff asked softly.

"Tommorow" Dixie stammered, Jeff sensed her nerves.

"Well I'll come in with you, I'm not having that creep near you" Jeff didn't care what the trust thought, he was going with Dixie he wasn't letting Mick touch her.

"Thanks Jeff, I'm going to wash my hair" Dixie said before going up the stairs, followed by Jeff.

"Dix I swear to god, if you pull out anymore of your hair!" Jeff called after her, he didn't get a reply but he did follow her into the bathroom.

"Jeff you should leave me alone, I let you down in there"

"You didn't let me down, I am proud of you. Why do you want me to leave you alone?" Jeff asked softly, putting his hands on Dixie's shoulders.

"No I don't want you to leave me but..."

"But nothing, I love you Dixie" Jeff smiled at her, they then shared another soft kiss. Once Jeff ran the bath, he watched Dixie climb in the water calming her washing away Miks touch. Jeff continued to watch as she put shampoo in her hair, watching carefully to make sure she wasn't pulling any of her hair out, Dixie noticed he was watching and decided she would try and make light of the situation.

"You watching for tips or something Jeffrey, because the last time I checked you had no hair to wash" she said feeling better with the water cleansing her skin.

"Oi I got a head full of hair me" Jeff exclaimed pouting at Dixie.

"You got a head full of something but it isn't hair" Dixie giggled at her smart remark, her words made Jeff move closer to the bath putting his hand in and lightly splashing Dixie. She reacted, a huge splash of water hit Jeff soaking his shirt in warm soapy water.

"Cheers for that Princess" Jeff smiled, rubbing his shirt a little before turning back to Dixie who was smiling, this sight made Jeff happy knowing he was getting more of Dixie back.

"Your welcome Jeffrey" Dixie continued to smile, trying to forget about what had happened.

"Right let's have a go then" Jeff rubbed his hands together, and moved himself to the back of the bath, where Dixie's head was now infront of him.

"Jeff what are you doing?" Dixie became curious she knew Jeff was behind, but she didn't know what he was going to do, the only thing she knew was that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Tell me how I am doing, it's been a while since I have washed hair" Jeff put shampoo on his hands, he was about to put them on Dixie's hair before she spoke.

"I already knew that Jeffey" Dixie commented, then Jeff had an idea he went into the bedroom and there on the bed where he left it was a bar of cadburys for Dixie. He then looked to his hands that were covered in shampoo, cursing to himself for doing things in a stupid order, he had to pick up the chocolate with his mouth, where he then went back into the bathroom watching Dixie's face light up.

"Is that for me?" Dixie asked noticing the bar of chocolate in his mouth, she smiled as Jeff came closer so she could reach out and take the bar of chocolate from his mouth.

"Anything for my princess" Jeff replied his mouth feeling strange after he accidentally ate some of the wrapper, starting to run his hands through her hair, rubbing in the shampoo. He was moving his thumbs in circular motions, rubbing in the shampoo as softly as he could. Dixie could feel herself relaxing eating the chocolate that Jeff brought her, and once again Jeff was taking away Micks cold touch, she was feeling relaxed and comforted by Jeff washing her hair, he was being soft and gentle. Jeff was trying to do everything he could that would relax her from the stressful day. He just hoped the trust would see sense and give her, her job back, but all he could do now was make her feel loved and cared for.


	47. Chapter 47

Dixie was less frightened of going to the meeting, she felt better knowing that Jeff was going too, not that he was meant to, but Jeff saw the state she got herself into and he wanted to be there to hold her hand during the meeting.  
Her and Jeff waited outside once again sat on the chairs, Jeff had his arm around her as Dixie leaned into his chest. Mick was nowhere to be seen, but Dixie knew he would probably make a dramatic entrance as she did last time.  
"Jeff what if I don't get my Job back"  
"Then the trust are stupid" Jeff replied kissing Dixie lightly on the head, he would be annoyed if Dixie didn't get her job back, it wouldn't be the same going into work without her, in fact he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue being a paramedic without Dixie. He hadn't told her this, as he was sure she would try to convince him out of it, and if he was going to quit he would do it then tell her after.  
"If not what can I do, it's not like I can do much else is it?"  
"You can do whatever you want, and don't talk about yourself like that princess"  
"Mrs Collier, oh Mr Collier I didn't think we asked you to attend" Megan said, looking to the couple confused before Jeff explained.  
"Dixie came back in a bit of a state yesterday, I thought I could come along and help her during the meeting. Is that ok?" Jeff asked politely, although if she said no he would blag his way in anyway.  
"Yes certainly Mr Collier, we may need to ask you some questions" Megan said, while holding the door open for her and Jeff to go in, surprisingly Mick was already in there. There were three chairs opposite the panel, meaning one of them would have to sit next to Mick, Jeff done this as this way he could protect Dixie.  
"Mr Collier, may I ask why you have attended this meeting?"  
"I believe it was necessary for me to attend, as I can comfort my wife" Jeff replied calmly, he knew what Mick had been saying, so he knew the trust would be watching carefully how he reacted to what was happening.  
"Fair enough, I am Colin, this is Charles and Megan" Jeff nodded, trying to ignore the man who was sat next to him, he was holding Dixie's hand tightly.  
"Now we are finding this a very hard decision to make" Colin continued, making Jeff tighten his grip onto Dixie's hand.  
"It could have been made easier if you just agreed with me Dixie, I am disappointed in you I was offering you a loving and caring home away from him" Jeff sat in the middle, knowing if he reacted badly the trust would believe Mick's lies.  
"Mrs Collier he does have a point"  
"Yes I do, he is abusing you, you do realise he cheated on you"  
"I'm sorry, is all this really necessary I mean our private life is supposed to be just that private, I don't see how this connects to Dixie getting her job back or not" Jeff quickly jumped to her defence, he took deep breaths to compose himself and allow the lying to pass over him, but this was becoming more difficult.  
"Believe me, this is all necessary Mr Collier, we need to make sure your wife is being kept in a safe environment" Colin was smart with words, Jeff bit his tongue to stop himself talking because he knew if he opened his gob a lot of bad language would come out.  
"Dixie please, come and live with me I can give you your job back, and most importantly I can keep you safe" Mick moved himself around, so he was in front of Dixie, Jeff had his arm around her glaring to Mick.  
"I'm staying with Jeff" Dixie replied, moving herself closer into Jeff's chest, Jeff smiled feeling proud of his Dixie.  
"Have you heard what this man has said about you sweetie?" Jeff couldn't believe Mick had the guts to then stroke Dixie's hair, Jeff's was trying to stop himself from lashing out but if he did the trust would believe Mick. Jeff just moved his hand to Dixie's hair quickly so Mick had no way of touching it, he could feel Dixie shaking into him. Dixie was praying that Jeff wouldn't react, if he did it would show that he got angry and was capable of lashing out, the warm touch of Jeff's hand to her hair calmed her instantly. Dixie then decided she would back Jeff up, she decided he shouldn't be the only one defending their relationship.  
"Jeff loves me, and I am here to talk about my job" Dixie found the strength to talk, she knew no harm would come to her as long as Jeff was holding her, she could feel Jeff's body becoming tense so she traced patterns on his back hoping to calm him down a little. Mick sighed and moved back to his chair, he knew he couldn't over step the line especially as Dixie was with Jeff.  
"About your Job Dixie, did you treat a Thomas Fenton? You gave him penicillin when it clearly states he told you that he was allergic, this makes us question your ability's as a paramedic"  
"I didn't treat him" Dixie said, she could remember every person who she had, had in the back of the ambulance, and she certainly hasn't treated a Thomas Fenton. Colin looked at her a little confused and then continued with a list of names,  
"Lauren Newton, Harry Early" Dixie continued to shake her head as he read more names, she didn't recognise any of these names.  
"These are all the patients you gave the wrong drugs" Colin said placing the sheets down.  
"I never…." Dixie glanced to Mick, he set her up she never treated any of these patients.  
"Dixie is a brilliant paramedic" Jeff stated holding her tight, she had never given a patient the wrong drug she always triple checked, he knew this from experience from working with her.  
"I'm sorry Mr Collier, these patient records don't support this theory" Charles interrupted, looking over the details.  
"I'm sorry Mrs Collier, but we don't think you are up to the job anymore" Colin ended, Dixie felt her heart drop, thinking of what she was going to do with her life now. Jeff was annoyed, they were telling Dixie she was no good at her job, he would like to see how Colin and Charles dealt with the situations Dixie had done.  
"Have you ever been into a building that is on fire to pull people out?" Jeff questioned, the panel shocked their heads looking shocked at the idea.  
"No didn't think so, Dixie has and she saved 3 people that day, putting her own life at risk" Jeff was watching each of their reactions.  
"Jeff it's fine" Dixie tugged at him arm for him to stop, but Jeff was having none of it.  
"No babe, it isn't fine" He then turned back to the panel before speaking, he was ignoring Mick who was sat next to him, as he was sure his body's natural reaction would be to clobber him.  
"When you have gone into a burning building, and when you have actually saved somebody's life. You can then tell Dixie she isn't good at what she did, but until then Dixie is my best friend and my wife and she is the best paramedic I have ever worked with" Jeff finished his little speech, will the panel were left lost for words.  
"So is that me done then?" Dixie asked the panel nodded so she stood up leaving the office with Jeff.  
"Babe I'm so sorry" Jeff was still in shock from what happened in there, putting his arm around Dixie feeling bad that she lost her job.  
"I'm proud of you in there Jeff, you managed to contain yourself" Dixie put her hands on his waist, she really was proud of him.  
"Dix…"  
"No Jeff, come on life goes on doesn't it" Dixie tried to hold herself together, she knew she was a good paramedic, she knew she never gave those people the wrong medication because she never treated them, and that was good enough for her, she was used to Mick taking things away from her. They went outside the building, where they leant on the wall taking in some fresh air.

"Thank you Jeff"  
"Why you thanking me, I did nothing heroic" Jeff looked to the floor, thinking he could have done more to get Dixie her job back.  
"Yeah but you did nothing stupid" Dixie put her hand to her hair, she was about to pull some of it out like she did before.  
"Don't you dare" Jeff spoke harshly, not wanting her to pull out her hair. They could see the trust panel leaving the building along with Mick, Jeff scowled at them before paying his attention to Dixie.  
"I love you Dixie"  
"I love you too Jeff" Dixie smiled, although she lost her job those three words from Jeff still made her happy. She curled her fingers around his, then rested her head in his chest feeling safe and comforted, even more so as he stroked her hair. Their bliss was interrupted by a loud bang, they looked behind them seeing two cars, they had crashed head on. The pair of them ran to the cars, looking to see if the people inside were badly injured.  
"Jeff there is a kid in there" Dixie said, pointing to the first car where she could see a young girl, Mick had already gotten there, he seemed to be giving the girl a drug. Jeff looked to the other car, where the woman got out looking unharmed. Dixie ran to the young girl in the back, watching what Mick was doing.  
"Mick what are you giving her?" Dixie asked, forgetting what he had done to her and focusing on the needs of the young girl.  
"Please it's my wife and daughter" A hectic voice came, Jeff looked around to see Colin his face plastered with worry and concern. The rest of the panel members were behind him, Jeff found it amusing that none of them knew what to do. Meanwhile Dixie was focusing on the girl in the back of the car, as the woman in the front was now being tended to by Jeff.

"Mick what the hell you playing at that will kill her!" Dixie pushed him out the way, taking the needle from his hand. Looking in the little first aid kit he had opened up resting by the girl.  
"It's morphine" Mick replied sarcastically, moving backwards a little.  
"Yes, 10 times too much!" Dixie raised her voice, feeling herself becoming angry, she never had the strength to argue with him, but she had found this strength she always put the patients needs before her own, and his error could have caused the young girl to go into cardiac arrest.  
"Bloody hell, and you didn't even take her pulse!" Dixie was raging, Jeff decided it would be best not to say anything as he knew he would get his tongue bitten off, although he was smirking to himself.  
"Well…" Mick tried speaking, Jeff continued to smile to himself knowing Dixie had found her strength, and he was going to shut up so she didn't turn on him.  
"Didn't you do your training?!" Dixie stated this was something she normally said when the paramedics did something wrong when she was in charge, but there was now a deathly silence as the judges from the panel stared at Mick.  
"Have you been impersonating a paramedic Mr Williams?"


	48. Chapter 48

Mick looked to the three members of the panel, then to Dixie her face was red from being so angry, they were all waiting for Mick to answer.  
"Not impersonating, I just don't have all the qualifications it's not that bigger deal"  
"NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, YOU HAVE BEEN TREATING PEOPLE WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A BLOODY CLUE WHAT TO DO?" Dixie shouted, feeling her blood boil her shouting startled Mick making him stare at Dixie.  
"No need to…"  
"Don't dare interrupt me, you were the one who gave those patients the wrong drugs weren't you. WEREN'T YOU!" Dixie questioned, the rest of them were watching on at the sudden outburst.  
"Yes but I didn't…" Mick started to talk, but Dixie interrupted him.  
"You idiot, you could have killed somebody! What the hell were you thinking?!" Dixie continued to rant, before turning her attention to the little girl holding her neck gently to prevent any spinal damage.  
"Sweetheart can you hear me?" Dixie questioned softly, getting no response from the girl. Dixie continued to hold her neck in place, waiting for the ambulance to come. Mick tried to move towards her, but Dixie saw him from the corner of her eye.  
"Don't you dare come anywhere near me" Dixie spoke harshly, at her words Jeff looked up from what he was doing, watching Mick cautiously as he knew Dixie wouldn't be able to take him on physically, but if Mick had any sense in him at all he would listen to Dixie. However he still wanted to lie, still wanted to break them apart.  
"Come on babe" Mick held his hand out for Dixie, moving closer.  
"Babe? I am not your babe, and don't you even think about stepping one step closer towards me!" Dixie watched as he moved backwards, holding his hands up.  
"It's ok, I won't hurt you like Jeff does I know your scared" he continued to hold his hand out for Dixie to take, but she was ignoring it.  
"For once in your life, cut the crap and tell the sodding truth!"  
"Don't you dare speak to me like that" Mick grunted through his teeth, Jeff watched cautiously in case he tried to hurt her, he then moved his glance to Dixie who seemed to be chuckling to herself.  
"You are an idiot who puts peoples life's at risk. You have been treating children people's sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, grandparents. There is training you take for a reason, so you don't make mistakes, these are peoples life's we are dealing with here. You don't get second chances!" Dixie shouted back, it was all silent from then on until the ambulances came taking away the girl and the mother, Colin went with them leaving the other two members of the trust.

Dixie glared at him, as he continued to stand there she couldn't believe what he said next, he held his hand out for her before talking.  
"I forgive you for shouting Dixie, but please come with me and away from him. I can look after you Princess" Jeff inhaled deeply, knowing if Dixie was still in her fiery mood, somebody calling her princess wouldn't make her very happy. In a way he would be a little hurt if she allowed anybody else to call her princess other than him, because then she wouldn't be his special princess anymore.  
"Princess? I am not your princess, the only person who can call me princess is Jeff. If you think I am coming anywhere near you, you are wrong" Dixie replied, still staring at him, giving him the icy glare she was so very good at.  
"Mr Williams, what Dixie and Jeff have been saying was true wasn't it. It was you who did those things to her, as well as not having the proper qualifications to be a paramedic" Megan asked, pulling out her phone and calling the police discreetly.  
"I haven't hurt Dixie, but no I haven't got the proper qualifications to be a paramedic" Mick worried as he saw her on her phone, but he knew how he was going to get out of this.  
"For god sake, will you stop lying. You left me in building after you attacked me, abandoned me in a building then you wanted me to sleep with you! You know it is true, just bloody admit it" she moved herself slightly forward, her anger was battling the emotion of being scared and so far it was winning.  
"I have no idea what you are on about Princess" He smiled, at Dixie but it wasn't a comforting smile at all, more of a smirk.  
"If you call me Princess one more time, you will be in an ambulance except you won't be the one doing the treating, you will be the one who is being treated!"  
"Is that a threat? I understand he hurts you, but that is no need to take it out on me" Mick replied smartly, as Dixie's jaw dropped feeling annoyed that he was continuing to lie.  
"How low are you willing to go to cover your back? I am taking it out on you, because you are a lying creep who puts people's life's in danger!" Dixie snapped back, her blood continuing to boil.  
"Well at least I am not putting my own life in danger by living with somebody abusive!"  
"The only person being abusive here is you, I love Jeff and you trying to break us apart by saying he hurts me won't work" Dixie was enjoying letting out all her anger, she was using her strength while she had it. She knew Mick couldn't hurt her, she had Jeff by her side although he was being very quiet and letting her get on with things, she knew if it got too much he would jump to her defence.  
"You're a lesbian, how can you love a man. An abusive man!" Mick pointed to Jeff, who at this point was monitoring the situation very closely. He knew it was something Dixie had to do, but he wasn't having her being put in any danger.  
"Jeff isn't bloody abusive, he loves me and I love him. Why can't you just leave me alone, I never did anything to you" Dixie tried to think of what she did to deserve this treatment from him, but she couldn't think of a reason at all.  
"Um. Mr Collier should we stop her?" Megan asked, watching as Dixie and Mick continued to argue.  
"I think it is best for her to get it out her system" Jeff replied feeling extremely proud of his wife, she wasn't going to let Mick have the last word. Although he was keeping an eye on Mick, he didn't want Dixie getting hurt, but he was hoping Dixie's ranting was giving him a headache. Jeff then looked to the police car that was pulling up behind, Mick turned around looking at the car.  
"Good…" He was going to continue talking but Dixie stopped him.  
"Jeffrey will you keep your gob shut, as I was saying Mick you are a stupid person who behaves recklessly. You couldn't get lower species of human than you, you are the lowest of the low. Blaming Jeff for all this won't help things, he has done some things that have upset me in the past, but we have come through it and become stronger. So I thank you in a way, because it is because of you I am so close to the man I love. Thank you" Dixie ended, as Mick was put in handcuffs, and taken by the police.  
"This isn't the end" Mick smiled, already putting a plan into action. But Dixie just ignored him, turning around to face Jeff who was smiling at her.

"Feel better for that Princess? Oh wait am I allowed to call you princess?" Jeff questioned, pulling her close to him, taking her by surprise.  
"Much better, and you can call me princess, but only you" Dixie replied, resting her head in his chest.  
"Glad to hear it princess" He kissed the top of her head softly, feeling extremely proud of her.  
"So has she got her job back now?" Jeff asked hopefully, looking to the trust members who had just witnessed this outburst.  
"Jeff leave it come on let's go home"  
"No wait, did you see how good she is, she saved that girls life. Did you hear her say how much she cares?"  
"Yes we did, and I suppose we do need a manager for the station" Megan looked to Charles, who was the one who would come up with the final decision.  
"Would you consider taking the job Mr Collier?"  
"No" Jeff replied, he was not taking Dixie's old job, he never would.  
"And you are sure there is nobody else?" Charles asked Megan, who shook her head.  
"Mrs Collier, you can take your job back, you may start in a week. We will get in touch with you about Mr Williams, I have a feeling this will needed to be made a formal hearing" He ended frowning, before walking off with Megan, leaving Jeff and Dixie alone. Jeff could see Dixie's face, she looked so happy and he was so proud of her. He put his arm around her, taking her home.

When they arrived home, Dixie couldn't stop smiling. Jeff wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him.  
"I am so proud of you Dixie Collier"  
"Thank you Jeff, what do you think is going to happen now?" She asked, Mick had been arrested but it didn't mean he was going to be punished for what he did to her.  
"I dunno" Jeff didn't know what would happen, he just hoped Justice would be served.  
"Do you think we should get a lawyer?"  
"Maybe"  
"Jeff?"  
"Yeah princess" Jeff replied moving her from his arms so he could see her face, and look into her eyes.  
"You wouldn't have let him lash out on me right?"  
"Never, I wont let anybody hurt you Dix. He cupped her face, he would never let no harm come to her after all she had been through.  
"Although I have to admit, I liked it when you thanked him for bringing us closer. Although I would have prefered to smack him one" Jeff returned to hugging her, he was going to make Dixie feel loved and cared for, he already had a plan of what he was going to do tommmorow.  
"Do you think he will try and lie in court?" She asked still in Jeff's arms.  
"Hope not, but knowing him I wouldn't trust what he says. On a happier note, you Mrs Collier need spoiling"  
"What?" Dixie asked confused as he tapped her noise gently, making her smile.  
"You will see tomorrow" Jeff replied kissing her, already planning what he was going to do for the oncoming day.


	49. Chapter 49

Jeff woke up, blinking his eyes and letting them adjust to the light, before moving his glance to Dixie. She had made herself comfortable on him, her head resting on his chest and arm around his waist. Jeff continued to look at her features, he felt so proud of her for standing up to Mick, she didn't deserve what Mick did and he was glad Dixie didn't let him walk over her. Although she didn't think it, to him she was beautiful on the inside and out, he was so happy with her and loved her so much. There was a part of him that wanted to kiss her, he had already kissed her but he wanted to do it properly. Dixie meant everything to him, which is why he was fighting away the urge he didn't want to take things to fast, same as he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Jeff shock his head to shake away the thought, for now holding Dixie and having her safe with him was enough, he was going to use this day to show her how proud he was of her.

He thought carefully how he was going to do this, he took a few moments to look at Dixie her blonde hair lying on his chest. He took a deep breath and attempted to free himself of Dixie, taking things slowly so he didn't wake her. Jeff put his hand on her arm, slowly lifted it from his waist. He then took her head in his hands, being extremely careful as he placed it on the pillow. He looked at her blonde hair, stroking it away from her face he loved her hair longer it really suited her, he knew he would give her a bollocking if she had it cut short again. He shuffled himself of the bed, making sure she was comfortable before leaving the room and going down the stairs.

Jeff went into the kitchen, shaking his body he couldn't understand people who woke up this early as a habit, the only reason he woke up this early is because he wanted to give Dixie a decent breakfast in bed. Opening the cupboards he got out the recipe book, he never made pancakes as that was always Dixie's job, but today he thought he would give it a go. Turning on the hob first, he got out all the ingredients he would need and went to work. Getting out a bowl, he cracked some eggs and added some milk and flour, humming to himself, listening upstairs to make sure he could hear no movement as this meant Dixie was still sleeping peacefully. Putting some oil in the pan, he waited for it to heat up before adding the mixture. Jeff yawned stretching as he watched the pancake cook, he got out a plate placing it on the table and setting out the knives and forks. Jeff forgot about the pancake that was cooking, he could smell burning before he had any chance to responded the fire alarm went off.  
"Shit" Jeff muttered continuing to curse to himself, grabbing the tea towel waving it under the fire alarm then opening the window remembering Dixie's asthma. He made a lot of banging as he moved things around, as well as the continuous beep of the fire alarm continuing to go off. While Abs was going ballistic, barking at the beeping, and running around the living room before making himself settled on the sofa.

Dixie awoke to loud bangs, beeping and Abs barking, she sat up seeing Jeff wasn't next to her. Getting up from the bed she grabbed her dressing gown, putting it on over her pyjamas so she stayed warm. Running down the stairs to see what all the fuss was about.  
"Jeffrey, what are you doing?" She called hearing the banging coming from the kitchen and the alarm still beeping. Dixie went into the kitchen laughing at the sight she saw, Jeff was under the fire alarm waving the table cloth underneath it.  
"Jeff what are you doing?" She chuckled, looking at the state of the kitchen when she realised he was trying to make pancakes.  
"I was…It…there…." Jeff was annoyed with himself, but seeing Dixie laugh made him happy although he was upset he hadn't managed to pull of his plan.  
"Move over" Dixie went passed him, sorting out the burnt pancake and turning down the hob to low, Jeff continued to wave the tea towel under the alarm until it stopped beeping. As Dixie turned she could see Jeff was a little hurt, she moved herself closer to him.  
"Sorry Princess"  
"Don't be sorry it was a lovely idea, I love you Jeffrey" Dixie thought it was a lovely idea, she moved herself into Jeff's arms.  
"Better if it worked out" Jeff replied, putting his hands on her waist and holding her close to him. He didn't expect what happened next, Dixie looked up to him touching her lips against his. Jeff held her in place as her mouth slightly parted, as there kissing became more passionate. It all felt right for Jeff, but he wasn't sure how Dixie felt so pulled back, it surprised him when she pulled him back continuing the long passionate kiss that lasted for a while. Jeff had his hands rested on her waist, and Dixie had her hands hugging his neck, making the moment last. They pulled out after a few minutes of passionate kissing, Dixie rested herself in Jeff's chest and Jeff put his arms around her, they stayed in each other's arms in silent, just enjoying the feeling of being together.

"Come on then Jeff, you finish setting the table and leave the cooking to me" Dixie moved herself to the stove, and got out a new pan to cook the pancakes in. Jeff finished setting the table, and getting out the syrup and sugar putting them in the middle of the table. The pancakes were now made, and the couple were eating them at the table happily, Jeff was annoyed that he didn't make them but he knew his wouldn't be as good as Dixie's anyway. Once they had finished eating, Jeff volunteered to do the washing up, he was annoyed at setting the fire alarm off but hearing Dixie laugh was music to his ears.

"You going to get dressed Dixie?" He asked finishing the last of the washing up, and putting the mugs in the right place in the cupboard.  
"Why?" Dixie was confused it was a Saturday, they never did anything on Saturdays unless they had work, otherwise they would stay in and laze around in their pyjamas.  
"I want to take you out, come on" Jeff shuffled her along, pushing her towards the stairs. Dixie wondered what Jeff had in store, she was just hoping it didn't involve cooking as she didn't particularly want a house fire. She put on her jeans, with a long sleeved top she always felt self-conscious about her body so she never wore anything that was too revealing.

Jeff waited for her at the bottom of the stairs, he smiled as she came down wearing something casual which was good. He had Abs on his lead, as he was coming along for the day also, holding Abs lead in one hand and Dixie's hand in the other.  
"Where are we going Jeff?" Dixie asked, as they left the house walking up the path going in an unfamiliar direction.  
"Thought we would take Abs to the park, it is a nice day after all" Jeff stated, as the sun was shining in the clear sky.  
"Sounds good" Dixie felt happy and safe, she felt a lot better after ranting at Mick she felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her. This day was going to be good, she was begging to feel like her old self she hadn't felt like this in a long time.  
"Jeff"  
"Yeah princess" Jeff responded, moving his eyes to Dixie who was looking to the ground.  
"You know yesterday"  
"Yes I know yesterday" He replied, he was never going to forget how proud Dixie made him feel.  
"If I got in too deep, you would have helped me out right"  
"I was watching the entire time princess, he wouldn't have dared lay a finger on you. I am so proud of you" Jeff stroked her check, using his other hand to hold Abs leash.  
"For what?"  
"Saying what you did, I was glad you didn't let him call you princess" Jeff said as he opened the gate allowing her and Abs into the park, continuing their walk. He would have been upset if she didn't say anything about Mick calling her princess, as she was his princess nobody else's.  
"Well I don't like it when people call me princess, I only allow you to call me princess" Dixie smiled, feeling special when Jeff called her princess as nobody else did, and nobody else was ever going to.  
"I remember when I first called you princess, I thought you were going to run me over with the ambulance that day"  
"The thought came into my head plenty of times that day, you were an unprofessional arrogant sod" She chuckled remembering the first day she met Jeff, she thought she was going to have to sack him, but here they were together she wouldn't have it any other way.  
"You know what Jeffrey, you are still an unprofessional arrogant sod, but do you know what makes it different now?"  
"What?" Jeff questioned, he could understand why she thought he was an arrogant sod as this described him very well. He watched Abs sniff the flowers at the side of the path, wagging his tail it had been a long time since they had been out like this.  
"You are my arrogant sod" She turned herself so she was facing Jeff, she was feeling warm and fluffy inside, she had never been in a relationship with a man, but Jeff had been through so much with her and she loved him more than any woman she had been with.  
"And you are my stubborn cow" he said, holding her close as she took over in holding Abs leash. The couple continued the walk through the park, the sun continued shinning making the day seem even more special. Jeff brought them ice cream from the van that was parked at the side of the road, he was feeling generous and wanted to spoil Dixie as much as possible. They finished their ice creams, and found a spot by the river to sit, Abs seemed happy enough walking through the long grass and finding a place to lie in the sun. Dixie sat and moved herself into Jeff's arms, he held her and softly stroked her hair.

"I love you so much Dix it is unbelievable"  
"Really?"  
"Of course princess, you are the most beautiful person. Also if you get your hair cut short again, I will give you a bollocking" He spoke sternly, he really didn't want her hair to be cut back short.  
"You like it like this then?" Dixie shrugged she didn't like her hair at the moment, and was considering getting it cut but if Jeff liked it she would leave it be.  
"It really suits you babe" Jeff moved his hand to her hair, he really loved it longer it suited her better than short. They smiled at each other looking into the others eyes, Jeff moved his hand to the back of her hair and they shared another passionate kiss. Jeff placed his other hand on her back, rubbing patterns on her back softly as they continued kissing.

The day for the pair of them was just perfect, it was getting late so Jeff decided it would be best to leave and go home as it was getting dark and cold, he didn't want Dixie becoming ill. Walking up the path to their home, Abs lead the way while Jeff and Dixie were behind, Jeff had his arm around Dixie making sure she was warm and as it was dark he didn't want her to far away from him. He knew he was coming to be really protective of her, he wasn't sure how Dixie felt about this but he only wanted to keep her safe. They approached the house door, where Dixie waited for Jeff to get out the keys and let them in.  
"Dix what are you doing, open the door then"  
"I can't you have the keys" She replied, watching Jeff rummage around his pockets.  
"I don't think I do princess" Jeff sighed, emptying his pockets completely, while Dixie stroked Abs waiting for Jeff to find the keys. Jeff came to the realisation that he never had the keys, he couldn't remember picking them up as they left the house.  
"You don't have them do you?" Dixie asked chuckling, looking at the house seeing if there was a way in.  
"No" Jeff replied, placing everything back in his pocket.  
"You are going to have to jump over the wall and open the back door" Dixie pointed to the brick wall that was nearly the same height as Jeff, the wall that led to their back garden.  
"Why can't you?" Jeff asked, moving himself passed Dixie figuring out how he was going to climb over the wall without killing himself.  
"Because I am the lady, and it was your idea for the fabulous day out" Dixie stated, holding Abs lead smirking to herself. Jeff grunted, and pulled himself over the wall, ripping his jeans as he fell climbed over.  
"Bloody stupid wall" he muttered, picking himself up of the floor and brushing himself off before making his way to the back door opening it to allow himself in the house. Turning on the lights, he could see the keys on the coffee table he cursed to himself again for being so forgetful.  
"Jeffrey you going to let me and Abs in?" Dixie called, the cold night air blowing towards her, rubbing her arms in attempt to keep warm, she heard a loud bang then some muttering, a few seconds later the front door opened revealing Jeff who was rubbing his knee.  
"What have you done now?" Dixie asked, going in the house after Abs and shutting the door bending down to Jeff's knee.  
"Walked into the bloody table"  
"Stupid Sod" Dixie muttered taking a look at his now bruised knee and laughing. Jeff was frustrated his plan for today didn't go to well, first of all he nearly set fire to the house with making pancakes, he locked them out, cut his knee on the wall and then walked into a table. He was grateful Dixie didn't seem to mind, it had taken their minds of the situation with Mick. It hadn't gone to plan, and he was bruised and sore but the day had still gone beautifully as he was with his Dixie, he was determined nobody was going to tear them apart again, and that Mick was going to be put away for all the things he had done to Dixie. After all this he knew he was being very protective of Dixie, he made a mental note to ask her how she felt about this but deep inside he didn't care if she liked it or not, he only wanted to keep her safe and away from harrm.


	50. Chapter 50

The morning sun shone through the curtains illuminating the bedroom where Dixie and Jeff were still fast asleep, it wasn't long before Dixie started to stir. Slowly she opened her eyes looking towards the window snuggling a little closer into Jeff. She wondered if her lying on his chest was uncomfortable for him as he slept, she didn't want him to be uncomfortable, but she found this closeness to be comforting. Jeff had his arms securely around her waist holding her close to him, she loved his protective streak as he made her feel safe with his presence. The thought of him being uncomfortable soon began to bother her, and she decided to find a way of moving herself of him.

Dixie took a few deep breaths before lifting her head from Jeff's chest, but as she did so, the room span as a wave of dizziness hit her. She fell back onto her pillow groaning, freeing herself of Jeff this instantly woke him as he could no longer feel Dixie next to him.

"You OK Princess?" Jeff rubbed his eyes, looking to Dixie who was scrunching up her face taking some deep breaths.  
"Yeah, just came over a little funny that's all" Dixie closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the throbbing feeling in her head.  
"What do you mean funny?" Jeff became immediately concerned as he shuffled himself closer to Dixie placing his hand on her forehead to take her temperature.  
"Just a headache, that's all, I will be fine honestly love" Dixie brushed his hand from her head, making him look at her more worried, he put his hand back on her head continuing what he was previously trying to do.  
"You do feel a little hot babe" Jeff moved his hand to her cheek, feeling the heat that was coming from her face.  
"Jeffrey, I will live, it is just a headache" Dixie tried to sit up, but was only pushed back by Jeff.  
"Stay there" He commanded while looking into her eyes.

Dixie nodded weakly watching as Jeff threw the covers back, walking across their bedroom towards the bathroom. She tried once more to sit up, but the same wave of dizziness hit her making her fall back to the pillows again, she made herself more comfortable in the covers knowing she would be in them for longer than she thought.

Jeff returned a few minutes later with what Dixie thought was a flannel, Jeff sat himself next to Dixie stroking her hair away from her forehead and placing the flannel gently on her head, hoping it would ease her head ache and cool her down. He sat for a while studying her features slowly, he could see that she didn't look too well.

"You are looking rather pale Dix. Stay there and I will make you a drink"

Jeff leaned into Dixie placing a kiss on her cheek before leaving the room. Dixie watched as he left and moved her gaze to the wall taking deep breaths trying to forget about the headache she had. She knew Jeff's intentions were good, sometimes it is easy to forget that she was married to a Paramedic and that she was one herself. The slightest inkling of illness and they were both onto the other like a shot with their medical training kicking in, although Dixie preferred looking after Jeff she just wanted to get on with things, but she knew Jeff wasn't going to allow her to do this until he was sure she was better.

Dixie closed her eyes and was trying to relax and let the flannel soothe her, but it was no good, this headache was here to stay. She didn't need to wait long before Jeff returned with a cup of tea and some toast, just looking at the toast made her stomach go uneasy.  
"I don't think I can eat anything Jeffrey" She pushed away the toast he offered, making Jeff sigh before talking.  
"You need to Princess, it will make you feel better" He placed the plate on the bedside table, giving Dixie the mug of tea if he could get her to drink something that was something.  
"I have a headache Jeff, I just need some paracetamol and I will be fine" Dixie sipped at the tea, then put the mug on the table, next to the plate of toast.

Jeff looked at the floor for a split second, he did not want to freely hand over the pain killers to Dixie, he knew she was in pain, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew she would know how many to take but would she stop there? Was she planning on trying to take her own life again? Jeff could still see Dixie lying on the hospital bed after she tried to take her own life by overdosing with the alcohol, the memories of thinking she had died and being without her were still too raw for him. Since he found out that she wasn't really dead, he wasn't taking any chances there was no alcohol and no tablets in the house, he got rid of the lot of them, he wasn't taking any chances.

He wanted to trust her, he really did, but, he couldn't bring himself to give into her just yet. He would try any other means to soothe her pain rather than the pills.

"Jeff?' Dixie said noticing he had slipped into a world of his own.  
"Yeah?" He snapped out of his thoughts, remembering Dixie was lying next to him.  
"You ok? You seemed to be in your own little world there?" Dixie looked to him, he turned himself around giving her a comforting smile.  
"Sorry Princess" He shuffled himself closer towards her, stroking her hair softly.  
"So are you going to get them or shall I?" Dixie tried sitting herself up again, but again she was stopped by a wave of dizziness, making her fall back to the pillows.  
"Get what? And take it easy" Jeff was confused as to what she wanted, he turned over the flannel to the cool side, making Dixie feel cooler.  
"The paracetamol Jeff, what else do you think I meant?"  
"Do you know what I think?"  
Dixie shook her head softly at Jeff, who smiled at her before explaining.  
"I think you should lie here in peace for a while have something to drink and eat, keeping that flannel on your head , we will see how you feel in an hour or so" Jeff really didn't want to give in, he was hoping Dixie would feel better soon so he didn't have to hand over any pills, she didn't even know that they didn't have any in the house. This would mean Jeff would have to leave her in order to get them, he didn't want to leave her when she was unwell.

Dixie did not quite understand what Jeff was playing at, staying in bed all morning wasn't her idea of fun, but she knew one thing, he was not going to back down. He was protective of her, at times this was overbearing, but, on the whole she enjoyed having someone care for her and love her. Having Jeff so protective made her feel safe, and after what Mick had done this was something she needed to feel, with Mick being caught by the police she felt a little safer, but the only thing that supplied her with safety was Jeff.

"Come on you might feel better after eating something" Jeff took the plate from the side, he was determined to sooth her pain, without giving her tablets. Dixie looked at the plate, the single slice of toast looked a challenge, but she knew Jeff was going to make her eat it whether she wanted it or not.  
"Please princess you need to eat" Jeff held the plate in front of her, until she picked up the slice of toast giving it a few nibbles, it took her a while but eventually she finished the slice of toast.  
"See that wasn't too hard was it" He put the plate on the floor, Dixie could feel her stomach churning but the toast seemed to settle.

Jeff became worried, as the time was ticking it had been an hour since Dixie asked for some pain killers, he was hoping she wasn't going to ask again. He made sure the flannel on her head remained cool, and made her drink plenty of water hoping it would ease the head ache but nothing seemed to work.

"Jeff can we just stop this fussing now, this head ache isn't going away" Dixie complained, her head was throbbing and she couldn't understand why Jeff wasn't giving her pain killers by now.  
"It's only been an hour babe" Jeff stoked her hair, tucking her in more in the bed he had been waiting on her hand and foot for an hour, hoping the rest would make her feel better.  
"Exactly so I can say that it isn't going away" Dixie sat up, she was going to go down stairs to get some pain killers, but she was stopped by Jeff.  
"Where are you going?"  
"To get the paracetamol" Dixie was pushed down gently by Jeff, he could see she was slightly swaying he could see she was being overtaken with dizzyness.  
"You can't"  
"Why not?" Dixie asked, Jeff looked to the floor, avoiding eye contact with his wife. Dixie was confused, normally he would keep her topped up on pain killers, what made this time so different? Then it hit her, she could see Jeff's eyes filling with tears.  
"You don't trust me do you?" She asked, Jeff went silent he didn't know how to respond to her.

"Jeff I'm not going to try and kill myself again" Jeff shuddered at her words, they made him remember what happened, how she tried to take her own life believing he didn't love her. He could feel himself choking up, remembering how much Mick got between him and Dixie what Dixie tried to do to escape it all, he thought she succeeded, those were the worst days of his life, thinking he was going to have to go on without his Dixie.  
She sat herself up, ignoring the dizziness to move her hands either side of Jeff's face, making him look her directly in the eye.  
"Jeffrey please trust me, I was stupid for trying to overdose. I promise I won't do nothing like that again"  
"You weren't being stupid Dix, I left you alone and vulnerable. I made you think I didn't love you" Jeff replied, feeling his eyes fill with tears remembering what had happened.  
"Please love, please trust me" Dixie asked, her head was throbbing and she needed something to take the pain away, Jeff could see she was in pain this made him sad, but he didn't want to hand her any pills. He took a few moments thinking, he was completely torn as to what to do.  
"On one condition"  
"What?" Dixie asked, she would do anything as long as it meant she could have some pain killers to get rid of her head ache.  
"I keep hold of the box" Jeff said sternly, if he was going to do this, he was going to be in control, he wasn't going to give her a whole box of pills, hoping that she would take the right amount. It took Dixie a while to reply, she nodded weakly she knew it would be a while before Jeff was going to trust her with any tablets.  
"Ok, but please don't try and get out of bed" Jeff kissed her forehead, laying her back down on the bed gently, he could see she was struggling just to sit up, he didn't want to leave her alone so weak and vulnerable.  
"Why where are you going?"  
"Pharmacy" He kissed her on the forehead again, giving her a weak smile he hated seeing her like this.  
"Why we have pain killers in the first aid cupboard" Dixie said, feeling confused as to why Jeff was leaving the house.  
"You really think I was going to keep paracetamol in the house after…" his voice trailed off as he was unable to say what happened, it hurt him too much to think of Dixie trying to take her own life believing that he hated her.

Dixie looked to Jeff, she felt so bad for putting him in this position. She could see that he didn't trust her, or he didn't trust her with tablets as he thought she was going to do something stupid. Jeff stood in the doorway, he wasn't happy about leaving Dixie at all, he had millions of thoughts racing through his head, things that could happen while he wasn't there.  
"Dixie seriously babe, please stay in bed" Dixie nodded, looking to Jeff smiling she was scared about leaving her, but at least Mick had been arrested.  
"Love you princess"  
"Love you too Jeff" Dixie replied, watching as Jeff left the room, she could hear the door downstairs shut, she sighed she was now alone. She could feel her safety instinstly leaving her, she just hoped Jeff would be back soon so she would feel safe under his protection.

Jeff left the house, fear and worry filling him, he made his way to the pharmacy hoping he was doing the right thing. Leaving Dixie so vulnerable and weak scared him, Dixie wasn't somebody for staying in bed and resting, he was hoping just this one time she would listen to him and stay in bed. He would have got Tamzin to sit with her, but he knew she was working, and there wasn't many people left who he trusted with Dixie.  
He didn't like what he was doing, he didn't want to give Dixie any pills but he didn't know what else to do. The only thing that was making him feel better about leaving Dixie, was that Mick had been arrested and he couldn't get to her, but her health wasn't in the best way at the moment. He continued his walk to the pharmacy that was amongst the corner shops, trying to hurry himself along so he could get back to his Dixie as soon as possible.  
His eyes began to water, and he could soon feel a tear falling the fear of Dixie being alone was too much for him.  
"Stop this Jeffrey, It's just a head ache she will be fine" He wiped away his tears, and continued to tell himself that Dixie was going to be ok. He could feel his body shaking, and a horrible feeling in his stomach being without Dixie was horrible, knowing he wasn't there to hold her and protect her from any danger.  
"Pull yourself together Jeffrey" He continued to mutter to himself, wiping his tears away, but it was no good as they continued falling. Entering the pharmacy he picked up the smallest box of pain killers he could find, he went to the counter paying for them. He felt better going back home to Dixie, he hoped he had done the right thing by buying her paracetamol. Looking to his watch he could see he had only left her for 20 minutes, but with Dixie so weak and vulnerable anything could have happened in that time, millions of thoughts were now racing through his head all he knew was he needed to get home, and get back to his Dixie he was just hoping he had done the right thing.


	51. Chapter 51

Jeff couldn't open the door fast enough, when he shut it behind him there was no sign of Dixie down stairs, this was good as it meant she listened to him and was resting in bed.  
"Dix, I'm back you ok?" He called, there was no reply this sent shivers down his spine. He went upstairs, hoping Dixie was there and she just didn't hear him. Going into the bedroom, he could see Dixie lying in the bed still, but she wasn't moving.  
"Dixie?" He asked softly, moving towards the bed he could see she was peacefully sleeping he breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that nothing had happened during the time he had been gone. Standing for a while, he studied Dixie's features she still looked a little pale, he laid himself next to her, pulling her close. Resting her head on his chest and wrapping his arms around her, holding her as she slept where he knew she would be safe. He could still feel she had a temperature, he was hoping when she woke up she would be feeling better so he didn't have to give her any pills.  
Jeff could remember how he thought he had lost her, he was thankful he didn't, but he was scared of facing the prospect of actually losing her.

"Dix you made me so scared" He started, stroking her hair gently, taking a deep breath before continuing to speak. This is when Dixie began to stir, taking in everything she was frightened at first, but she soon realised it was Jeff holding her and she had nothing to be frightened of so she relaxed more, she was about to speak when Jeff did instead.

"When you overdosed, I was heartbroken, I couldn't do anything I was so scared of losing you, and I thought I did" His eyes began to water as he focused to spot on the wall, he was so scared of her trying to do something like that again, if she could try it once he knew she would be able to try it again. Dixie listened carefully staying silent, knowing Jeff needed to let out his feelings, she came to the conclusion that he thought she was still sleeping, so she closed her eyes but kept listening to what was being said.

"Please forgive me for hitting you, I couldn't believe I did that, I will never hurt you again. I can still see you, lying on the floor, I am disgusted at myself for doing that to you, please believe me in saying I will never hurt you again." Jeff hated himself for hurting Dixie, she needed him and needed him to comfort her, but instead he hit her making her believe he didn't love her.

"I love you more than anything, I really do princess and I don't want to ever harm you" His voice became shaky, as he felt he had to make her believe he would never harm her again, he knew she was sleeping but he needed to tell her how he felt even if it did mean doing it while she was sleeping, he wouldn't tell her these things if she was awake.

"I couldn't bare it if you done something to try and take your own life again princess, that is why I'm so reluctant to giving you paracetamol. You mean everything to me, I don't want to lose you. I was so stupid for not believing you, and letting Mick turn me against you, and I am determined he is going to be put away for what he has done" He held her tightly, he was horrified at what Dixie tried to do, and petrified of her doing it again. He broke down in tears, thinking of all the things that had happened to Dixie while he wasn't there to protect her.

"Jeff I won't do something like that again" Dixie whispered, she had been silently crying the whole time, listening to what Jeff was saying.

"Princess how long have you been listening?" Jeff jumped at her voice, thinking of how much Dixie had heard.

"Since the beginning, Jeff I am not going to do something like that again, please trust me" Dixie wrapped her arms around him, making herself more comfortable on Jeff.

"Do you still have a headache?" he was hoping that the sleep had got rid of her headache, and that she was feeling better but something made him not so sure.

"Yes, but if you don't want to give me any paracetamol I understand" Dixie knew now why Jeff was so reluctant, she knew in herself she wouldn't take any more than needed, but Jeff was still worried of losing her.

"Stay here" Jeff kissed her cheek, going down stairs to pick up a bottle of water he checked the phone for any messages and there was one from the trust, saying that there was going to be a formal hearing and him and Dixie should get a lawyer, and find as much evidence as they could to prove that it was Mick who had been hurting Dixie. He made a mental note in his head to sort out a lawyer, they already had a lot of evidence, there wasn't much more he could get.

He left the kitchen, going back to the bedroom Dixie was looking at him giving him a weak smile. He got the box from his pocket, looking at them feeling himself beginning to choke, remembering how much damage they had done to her before, they nearly killed Dixie and for a while he thought they did.

Dixie knew it was hard for him, she would understand if he changed his mind, and didn't give them to her. She was surprised when Jeff handed her two of the pills, then the bottle of water.

"Thank you Jeff"

"It isn't going to be a regular thing" Jeff said as he watched her take the tablets, then the water, he counted the amount of tablets in the box before putting them back in his pocket. Giving Dixie pain killers wasn't going to be a regular thing, he would always be wary because he was so scared of losing her. After Dixie was finished with the water, he took the bottle placing it on the table and lying next to her again, Dixie shuffled herself closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her, letting her rest her head on his chest.

"Jeff?"

"Yeah Princess"

"Is it uncomfortable with me lying on you like this?" She asked, she felt safe with him holding her like this, but she didn't want him uncomfortable.

"No, I like it" Jeff replied, stroking her hair, he loved feeling her so close where he could keep her safe and warm. Kissing the top of her head softly, he was trying to remember all the things he said while he thought Dixie was sleeping, when she was actually awake.

"Jeff it isn't you fault what happened" Dixie was relieved that it wasn't uncomfortable for her lying on Jeff, as he made her feel safe the way he was so protective of her, she knew she would be safe while Jeff was there holding her.

"Of course it is my fault, I let him hurt you" Jeff was annoyed at himself for being so blind and gullible, if he opened his eyes and saw what was really happening Dixie wouldn't have got hurt.

"Love, you can't blame yourself for all this" Dixie put her hands either side of his face, making him look her in the eyes, she could see his guilt towards the whole situation, when secretly she felt like she was the one to blame.

"I can't help it Dix, he blinded me towards you. I made him work a shift with you that ended up with you being in intensive care, then I hit you, and you tried to take your own life while feeling unloved" Dixie was lying on him, he couldn't understand why she was so loving towards him, when he let her down completely.

"It wasn't your fault, you weren't to know. I should have tried to get away" Dixie continued cupping his face, she had been thinking of all the things she could have done to escape from Mick, and stop him from attacking her.

"Dix you and me both know that you wouldn't have been able to get away, he is a lot stronger than you, he would have only hurt you more" Jeff had tears streaming from his eyes, he hated the thought of Dixie being in danger.

"I could have tried though, Jeff it wasn't your fault" Dixie felt bad, that Jeff was blaming himself so much, she was sure this would be coming soon, she needed to make him believe that it really wasn't his fault.

"I was the one who made you work with him, you told me you didn't want to, I shouldn't have made you. Then you asked to swap, I could hear the fear in your voice I should have swapped then you wouldn't have been hurt" Jeff traced patterns on her back, every time he closed his eyes, he could see Dixie lying on the floor of the warehouse helpless and bleeding. Mick had left her weak and vulnerable, that should have been a wakeup call, but still Dixie continued to be hurt by him.

"I should have told you though, you had no way of knowing" she moved herself closer to him, she could see his hurt for what happened to her.

"You shouldn't have had to tell me, I know you so well Dix, and I let you down it is making me think…" Jeff's voice trailed off, he looked Dixie in the eye seeing she was becoming curious as to what he had to say.

"Think what?" She could feel her heart racing, wondering what Jeff had to say, she waited a few moments before he continued to speak.

"I don't deserve you Dixie, I don't deserve somebody as special as you. Maybe I should leave, let you find somebody who will look after and protect you, because I have failed at doing those things"

"Jeff I am sorry, please forgive me. You can't go, you can't leave me. I love you, please don't go" Dixie instantly thought she had done something wrong, she began to shake and cry, she couldn't be without Jeff, he couldn't leave her.

"Jeff I need you" Dixie was crying, Jeff just focused to a spot on the wall, his arms still around Dixie. He wanted her to feel loved and protected, he wasn't sure if he was up to the job, he let her down too many times he would never forgive himself if anything else happened.

"I won't let you go" she put her arms around him, holding him tightly, she didn't Jeff to leave her, she needed him to help her through this. Jeff looked at her, she was holding him tightly, he could see how scared she was becoming, but he wasn't sure if he was up to the job of protecting her anymore. He failed to protect her from Mick, and he didn't want something else like that happening again, he was beginning to think that somebody else would be able to protect Dixie more than him.

"I am really sorry Jeff, I did try and get away from him, I did try to stop him" Dixie was blaming herself, thinking of what she could have done to stop Mick hurting her.

"I know you did babe, I know" He stroked her hair, hoping it would calm her, but nothing was working, the thought of him leaving her was too much.

"Then why do you want to leave? I didn't let him sleep with me" She continued to sob into his chest, wanting to know what she had done wrong.

"Because I can't help thinking that there is somebody else out there who will protect you more than me. I am glad you didn't." Jeff avoided looking at Dixie, he only wanted her to be safe and if that meant her being with somebody else than that is the way it would be. He had his arms around her waist, tracing circles on her back hoping to calm her, but she was still crying and shaking into him.

"I only want you Jeff, I don't want anybody else. I love you, please don't go" Dixie was begging for him not to leave, she was lost without him, she only felt protected by him. She continued to lie on him, knowing he had no way of going anywhere while she was on him like this.

"Jeff I promise I won't overdose again. Please I will make you tea in the morning and cook, I won't moan at you, I will do all the cleaning and wash your clothes, I will do anything as long as you don't leave me" Dixie would do anything to make Jeff stay, Jeff looked to Dixie who's head was buried in his chest, she continued to think of things she could do that would make Jeff stay.

"I will stop annoying you, I won't call you names you can have the remote and choose what we watch on telly" Dixie was thinking of what she could do to make him stay, she looked Jeff in the eye he could see the fear and sadness that was running through her, he was still unable to speak.

"You can use the shower for as long as you like, we can have Indian instead of Chinese…" Dixie had a long list of things she would do for Jeff as long as he stayed, he put his fingers to her lips.

"Dix stop, I won't go, I won't go" He could see how hysterical she was becoming at the thought of going through things without him, he couldn't leave her like this. Dixie immediately calmed at his words before speaking.

"Promise?" She asked, looking to his eyes, knowing he wouldn't be able to lie while looking deep into her eyes.

"I Promise. I love you, I just thought, I just want you to feel safe" Jeff looked into her eyes, watching her face relax a little before she fell back to his chest, trying to compose herself.

"I love you too, I only feel safe with you Jeff" Jeff put his arms around her, kissing her head softly, he didn't think Dixie would get herself into such a state at what he was thinking, but he knew he could never leave her.


	52. Chapter 52

Dixie woke up, she could feel her head was a lot better, she moved her hand to the side of the bed expecting to feel Jeff, but there was nothing, just empty sheets. She sat bolt up, scanning the room for any sign of Jeff but there was nothing, she began to breathe faster looking for any sign of Jeff, but she couldn't see him anywhere.

"Jeff?" She called, she heard footsteps coming from outside the bedroom door, Jeff pushed open the door seeing Dixie was awake.

"Yeah Princess?" He asked, thinking she needed something, Dixie immediately relaxed seeing that Jeff was opposite her.

"I thought you left"

"No, I was making some tea" He came in the room, handing Dixie the mug and sitting next to her, he could feel she was slightly shaking, but she soon calmed down after having some sips of the tea.

"How you feeling babe?" He asked, putting his hand to her head taking her temperature again.

"Better" Dixie sat herself up properly, taking things slowly in case she felt another wave of dizziness.

"Well you don't have a temperature anymore, and it seems you have your colour back" He looked into her eyes, breathing a sigh of relief that she felt better.

"Good, thanks for the tea love" She finished of her tea and placed it on the table, before moving herself onto Jeff, wrapping her arms around him and placing her head on his chest.

"Dix I need to tell you something" Jeff put his hand to her hair, stroking it softly.

"What is it?" Dixie didn't know what was coming.

"Mick's case has been made into a formal hearing, we may want to get a lawyer" Jeff had looked through the phone book, and had found some lawyers that he was going to get in touch with.

"Jeff he is going to lie…He won't confess, and we have no evidence"

"Dix I won't let him get out of this one, he has admitted holding you at gunpoint to Tamzin and Tom, we can have them to back us up" Jeff was thinking of all the things they could use as evidence towards Mick, but they seemed to have everything, he was just hoping it would be enough.

"Jeff what if he doesn't go down, what if they just make him pay a fine or something?"

"He won't you again Dix, I promise you I will not let him hurt you , I won't let him" Jeff cupped her face looking into her eyes, he was never going to let her be hurt again, she meant to much to him. Dixie weakly nodded, she knew that Jeff would protect her from any danger and keep her safe.

"We have a lot of evidence against him babe, and he has been treating patients in the back of the ambulance with no qualifications for months, he can't get out of that one" Jeff held her close, kissing the top of her head, he loved her so much and the thought of Mick getting away with what he had done was making him feel sick to the stomach.

"I suppose you're right" Dixie felt glad about this, she felt safer knowing Mick was in custody but the only time she felt fully safe was when Jeff was holding her.

"Pardon?"

"You know perfectly well what I said Jeffrey" Dixie smiled, she knew telling Jeff he was right may have been a bad idea, but she knew he was right, there was no way Mick could wriggle himself out of the pretending to be a paramedic, when he had no qualifications and didn't have a clue what he was doing.

"I love you Dixie, I promise I will never let you go" Jeff kissed her head again, Dixie looked up to him and their lips met, Jeff moved his hand to the back of Dixie's head stroking her hair as they continued the passionate kiss. Dixie rested her hands on Jeff's chest, feeling her lips parting to make the kiss more passionate. This lasted for a while, and every second was cherished by Jeff as he continued to kiss her, holding her in his arms.

When they pulled away, Dixie smiled at let her head fall on his chest,

"I love you Jeff, I am really sorry for what I did, I mean trying to…" Jeff put his fingers to her lips stopping her from talking, he knew she was sorry, and he didn't want to be living in the past.

"It's ok, you're here now and that's all what matters, all that matters is that you are in my arms and you are safe" Jeff said this softly, making Dixie relax again.

"Can we go out today, I don't want to be spending our day talking about this"

"Go and have a bath, and I will think of something" Jeff replied, feeling happy that Dixie wanted to spend time with him, she was right it wouldn't do them any good spending their day talking about Mick.

Dixie rushed off to the bathroom, turning on the taps and smiling she wondered what Jeff was going to arrange for the day, she didn't mind what he decided she just wanted to get out of the house, and escape all the events that were going on with Mick.

Jeff sat in the bed thinking of what he was going to do, where he was going to take Dixie, he didn't want anywhere to romantic, they just needed to get out of the house and have a good time together. Firstly though, he was going to find a lawyer, they needed to be prepared for what was going to happen.

Phoning the best company he could find, Jeff nearly had a heart attack finding out how much they charged, but he wanted the best for Dixie he didn't want Mick wriggling his way out of the charges. Jeff agreed to paying that amount, and reluctantly gave the company his bank details so they could get to work straight away.

He then had to think of where he was going to take Dixie, he didn't have to think long as he soon had an idea. Going upstairs, he laid out some clothes for Dixie to wear as he wanted to keep where they were going a surprise.

Dixie settled down into the bath, wondering what was going to happen today, she enjoyed taking Abs to the park, but she was hoping he had something different planned today as it didn't look very warm outside. She didn't mind where she went, as long as she was with Jeff, she relaxed more into the bath letting the warm water sooth her. Her thoughts traced back to Mick, what he did to tear apart her relationship with Jeff, she was scared of history repeating itself and she was going to lose Jeff again.

"Dix you ok?" Jeff knocked on the door, noticing Dixie had been in there a while, he wanted to know if she was ok in there.

"Yeah I'm fine mate" Dixie called, she had been in her own little world for a while, Jeff knocking the door brought her out her thoughts.

"Can I come in?" Jeff wasn't convinced, he wanted to see Dixie to make sure she wasn't on her own crying.

"Course" She moved her hand to her face, trying to wipe away her tears before Jeff came in, but it was no good he saw them in an instant.

"Babe why are you crying?" Jeff was glad he went in, he knelt on the floor next to the bath rubbing his thumb under her eyes to get rid of the tears.

"In court, what if he says something to turn you against me again?"

"He won't, I won't let him do that. The whole time you will be sat next to me, and I will hold you close and let you know how much I love you, and after we will come home and I will cradle you until you fall asleep, and you will sleep in my arms where you are safe" He spoke softly, his voice instantly calming Dixie, he was sure Mick wouldn't break them apart again.

"Come on Princess, the water is cold" Jeff held her up a towel, helping her out of the bath, then holding her close for a hug that was needed. Dixie's head rested on his shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around her, Dixie felt safe with Jeff and she was happy about what he said.

"You didn't let me down Jeff"

"I did babe, and you know it" Jeff was annoyed at himself for what he failed to see, he failed to see what was really happening to Dixie, and he failed to protect her.

"Remember what you said to me earlier"

"What?"

"All that matters now is that you are here, and you aren't leaving me. After this we need to move on, move on as a couple and support each other. But for now, having you hold me is enough" Dixie wanted to move on after all of this, she was hoping Mick would be put away so she didn't have to live in fear, but she knew she was safe as long as Jeff was with her.

Jeff nodded, knowing Dixie was right, they had to stop dwelling on the past and look forward to the future. He was hoping the future would be better for them, he was also hoping to take Dixie away on holiday after all this was over, she deserved a break they both did.

Dixie got dressed in the clothes that were laid on the bed, it was just a pair of simple jeans and a nice top. She was confused as to where he was taking her.

"Jeff where are we going?"

"Now that would be telling, hurry up we only have half an hour"

"Oh, so we are on a time limit now are we Jeffrey?"

"Yes, so hurry up" Jeff kissed her on the cheek, and left the room allowing her to get ready, when she was he led him out the house and into the car.

He pulled up outside the cinema, he thought a film with plenty of junk food is exactly what Dixie needed. Dixie smiled, loving the idea, she was wondering why Jeff wasn't' letting her have any breakfast she now knew why.

"Thank you Jeff"

"You're welcome Princess. Come on, let's go" Jeff let her out the car, and led her into the cinema.

"Popcorn?" He asked as they approached the large selection of snacks, Jeff wanted to spoil Dixie he was so proud of his best friend, his wife, his lover.

"Of course, and chocolate" Dixie said, looking at the large amount of chocolate they had on offer, she was going to enjoy this.

Two and a half hours later they left the cinema, Dixie was holding onto Jeff and he had his arm securely around her. That was defiantly what Dixie needed, having her stomach full of popcorn and sweets was feeling funny as it had been a while since her and Jeff had been to the cinema.

When they arrived back home, Jeff picked up the phone to check for any messages there was one from the trust, the hearing was the next day.

"Jeff what is it?" Dixie could sense his fear, as she could see his face turn pale.

"It's the hearing, it's tomorrow" He spoke softly, he really hoped Mick would get away with what he had done, but he wasn't sure there was little evidence apart from the accounts and the photos.

"Ok" Dixie could feel herself beginning to choke, she didn't know what was to come tomorrow, she was just hoping Jeff would be by her side, but after today she was 100% sure he would be.

Sure enough the next day came around, and the couple were waiting outside the court taking in the fresh air while they still had time. Dixie sat on the step, hoping that after this she would be able to move on, she had her job back but she wasn't sure if she wanted it back, having her office back was only going to bring back bad memories.

"Jeff I'm scared" Dixie managed a whimper, she was so scared about facing him in the court room.

"Shh, you don't need to be scared I am here, and I am not going anywhere" Jeff held her close, he was determined Mick was going down for what he had done to his Dixie, he was hoping that justice would be served.


	53. Chapter 53

**Here it is the ending, thank you for everyone who has been reading and reviewing, and to my followers and favuorites, hope you all enjoy the ending, xxx**

* * *

Jeff led Dixie out the court, she was shaking from the event that had occurred inside, Jeff couldn't believe what happened in there himself, he couldn't believe how low Mick was willing to go. His mind traced back to when Dixie was questioned, Jeff wanted to pick her up and take her away from it all, but all he could do was sit and watch.

_"Mrs Collier, would you tell the court more about your Accusations towards my client? Why don't you start at the beginning" Mick's lawyer was opposite Dixie pacing the room, Dixie sat thinking of how she was going to answer. She needed to remain strong, she needed to hope that Mick would be put away. She answered calmly, and praying that she wouldn't be asked to many questions about what Mick had done, she didn't want to go into detail._

_"When he arrived, he wanted to work a shift with Jeff, from that point on he was trying to spilt us up" Dixie started, pausing for breath and looking to Jeff who was giving her a comforting smile, she just wanted him to hold her and be In his arms._

_"What do you mean split you up?" The lawyer asked, interrupting Dixie from her thoughts._

_"He turned Jeff against me, made Jeff believe him instead of me" _

_"How did he do that exactly?" The lawyer questioned, smiling towards Dixie. Dixie glanced to Mick who was in hand cuffs smirking at her, he knew exactly what he had done._

_"He hurt me, made me feel vulnerable I still feel vulnerable. He lied to Jeff, lied to him about where I was, if it wasn't for my husband knowing I wouldn't leave him, I would have been left in that warehouse to die" Dixie felt her eyes watering, she didn't want to say all of this, she was just hoping it was going to help._

_"You see, that doesn't quite add up. I think, that your husband didn't believe you because he knew you were lying, and you are still lying now aren't you Mrs Collier?" Jeff took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, he was annoyed at not believing Dixie but he believed her now and knew she was telling the truth._

_"No, no I'm not, he has tried to kill me many times, tried to rape me, touched me without my consent, and you cannot ignore that he has been treating patients with no qualifications" Dixie remained calm while saying this, but it didn't stop the tears from falling she was desperately trying to remain a sense of composure, but it was all too much._

_"Ah, this is something else. You were the duty manager at the time Mick came as a paramedic at Holby, isn't that correct?"_

_"Yes it is" Dixie was making direct eye contact with his lawyer, hoping that she would stop asking the questions, she knew Mick was guilty of what he did to her, she just wasn't saying this._

_"That means, you failed your job, as you failed to spot that he had such a lack of experience"_

_"I informed the trust, I told them I didn't trust him and that I would prefer it if they sent somebody else to replace him, but they didn't so it isn't my fault" Dixie tried to hold back the tears, but it wasn't working._

_"Would you describe yourself as stubborn Mrs Collier?" _

_"Yes, at times I can be, but what has that got to do with anything?" Dixie asked, wiping away her tears she hated everybody seeing her like this, strangers seeing her cry and breaking down._

_"If you were stubborn enough, you would have refused to take on the responsibility of taking Mick as a paramedic?" _

_Dixie remained silent, and looked to Jeff, he felt so helpless watching her being questioned like that. _

Jeff shock his head, to stop all the memories of the court case coming back to him, the memories of Dixie crying in front of the whole court, and not being allowed to go and comfort her.

"Jeff can we just go home now" Dixie asked, moving herself into Jeff. He wrapped his arms around her, leading her to the car he nodded unable to speak as he was still in shock from what happened.  
He made sure she was sat in the car securely with the seat belt on, before taking her home the drive home was long and awkward both of them lost in their own thoughts.

When they arrived home, Dixie went up the stairs getting changed out of her court clothes and into her pyjamas. It had been a long day, she wanted to feel relaxed and comfortable. Jeff was lost for words, he didn't know what he would be able to say to her to calm her down or make her feel any better about herself.

"Jeff you should take Abs for a walk" Dixie said weakly, making her way into her bedroom and lying on the bed. Jeff nodded and left her, knowing she would need time to allow things to sink in. He took Abs out of the house, leading him down the path, letting his mind trace back to what happened in the court, and what Mick's lawyer had done to Dixie.

_"Mrs Collier, would you like to tell the court why you tried to take your own life?" Mick's lawyer smiled once more to Dixie, she was already in tears, she just wanted Jeff to hold her._

_"Mick made me feel so alone, so alone that I had nothing left to live for" Dixie managed to say just loud enough for the court to hear, she was shaking and petrified but she was trying not to show it._

_"No, It wasn't Mick who made you feel alone at all. It was your Husband who has been abusing you, my client did nothing to you, you are just trying to protect Mr Collier" Mick's lawyer was now beginning to blame Jeff, Jeff was looking to the floor he would never forgive himself for hitting Dixie but he would never lay a finger on her again._

_"No, that isn't true. Me and Jeff are in a loving relationship, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't feel safe in my own home" Dixie was doing her best to stop the court blaming Jeff, she loved him more than anything she wasn't going to let him take the blame._

Jeff could remember Dixie's face when she said this, she looked distraught, he couldn't believe that Mick was still trying to blame him for hurting Dixie. Thankfully many of the ED members of staff were questioned to, they all stuck up for him and Dixie, especially Tom and Tamzin if it wasn't for them Mick wouldn't have been put away at all. His mind then traced back to when Mick was sentenced.

_Jeff was clinging hold of Dixie, hoping they were going to get some justice so they could move on with their life's, either way Jeff knew he would be massively protective of Dixie he hadn't let go off her at all, only when they were being questioned he wanted her safe in his arms where he knew he could protect her._

_"Jury, how do you find Mick Williams on the charges of acting as a paramedic with no qualifications?" The lawyer stood up, facing the jury. _

_"Guilty" They echoed back, Jeff knew this was something he wouldn't be able to wriggle his way out off._

_"How do you find Mick Williams on the charges of Bodily harm?" The lawyer asked, still facing the jury it took them longer to reply this time._

_"Guilty"_

_"And finally how do you find Mick Williams on the charges of grooming, and attempted rape" Jeff held Dixie tighter, Dixie had her head in his chest she didn't want to look at the man who hurt her._

_"Not guilty" Jeff gasped, he couldn't believe he had got away with touching Dixie. _

He felt sick and cringed at the thought of him touching Dixie, he could remember how scared she was and how vulnerable she was, is. 8 years wasn't enough for what he did, Jeff wanted him behind bars and throwing away the key, he wanted the death sentence for him more though.

Jeff thought Abs had enough of walking for today, and he wanted to go back and comfort Dixie, the fresh air had given him time to think of what he was going to say to comfort her. He got back home letting Abs of the leash, then going up the stairs finding Dixie sobbing in the bed. Jeff sat next to her stroking her hair softly, Dixie knew it was only Jeff next to her so moved herself closer into his arms.

"Jeff you don't think I am mad do you?" She continued to sob, remembering all the questions and answers at the court case.

"Babe, you are not mad. Now you listen to me, they shouldn't have spoken to you like they did in that court room. You are my beautiful, loving , compassionate Dixie and I love you to bits, now we need to move on" He sat her up, holding her close, feeling her nod into his chest, Jeff was hoping Mick would have gone down for longer, but 8 years was still an achievement. He could remember hearing the verdict, he was so happy Mick was put away, but he should have been put away a lot longer for what he did. More importantly he couldn't believe that he got away with the charges for touching Dixie, he had no right to do what he did to her.

"Dix here is what we are going to do, we need to get away for a bit, take a break and go on holiday somewhere" He wanted to take her away somewhere nice, she deserved it after everything they had been through.

"Jeff I have only just got my job back, we can't go on holiday now" Dixie gasped, she loved the idea but she had only just got her job back, going on holiday may ruin her chances of keeping it.

"Too late princess, I have already booked it, we need a break. Something to give us a fresh start"

"Thank you Jeff"

"That's ok babe, it should be me thanking you. You were so bloody strong in there" Jeff was proud of his wife, she continued talking even through the tough times, he was proud of her continuing to answer the unnecessary questions.

"No I wasn't I cried the whole way through" Dixie hated showing her emotions, but she couldn't help it, she didn't like the fact he wasn't found guilty of touching her, she knew It had happened and so did he and he still got away with it.

"But you still put your opinion across, when Mick was there. I am so proud of you, and I am proud to have you by my side and call you Mrs Collier"

"You mean it Jeff"

"Of course, I love you" Jeff put his hand under her chin carefully, making her look into his eyes.

"I love you too" Dixie said, Jeff moved his hand to her hair stroking it softly. Their lips were touching, and Dixie moved her hands to Jeff's waist pulling him closer as their kiss deepened. Jeff pulled out, and began placing soft kisses on her neck, as they laid together on the bed continuing the kissing. This was going to be the beginning of their fresh start together, becoming a proper couple. Replacing the bad memories with new good ones, Jeff was hoping their future would be a happy one and that he could make Dixie happy, but at the moment he was too lost in the moment to be thinking about bad things, all that mattered now was Dixie and making this a night to remember, to celebrate their freedom from Mick.


End file.
